Me and Russ went to see his parents Fri-Tues. Anyway last Tues I got tonsillitis again. Put on med which made me feel shit. It had cleared up by Fri so I stopped the med at lunch so I could go to the pub in the evening. Lol. Anyway at his parents I weren't myself as I felt ill, hardly sleeping and couldn't eat. So I weren't a happy bunny and didn't really get on with ppl as I felt so naff. Also Cait was with my mum so I missed her alot. Fri, Sat and Sun night was spent getting drunk, I am not a big drinker. So this annoyed me as he was there to see his family and mates. On Sun night he decided he wants to move back to Essex and take me and Cait with him, I said yes but we've only been together 2 months so I didn't wanna rush it. I tried talking to him about it and asking if we could go in a few months rather than a month and he didn't want to as he misses his family loads and he is really close to his mum. Me and his mum went out shopping on Sat for BBQ stuff for Sun and had a good day. So we got on alright. I don't deal well in crowds and at the BBQ Russ just spent it getting drunk and talking to his mates and left me out.

Anyway Tues he seemed off with me, travelled back picked Cait up from Nursery, he didn't stick about, got everything outta the car including her car seat saying he wants to clean it out.

I text him when he was on his way back to Portsmouth asking if we were okay and he said yes. So I text back saying okay good love you, hour later he replied I love you too this is why it makes it so hard and that he is going home. He said he would come see me yesterday but 11ish on Tues he said he couldn't do it no more and split up with me. I've spoken to his mum and she thinks its cause I didn't enjoy the weekend and he misses his family.

I dunno what to think before we went to his parents we were fine, he said he loves me and Cait and that he wished he was her dad. He did my garden for me and why would he say/do them things for nothing? I text him last night saying I miss him and that if he wants some space then he can have it but to think bout what he is actually doing and that I understand he misses his family. Just confused and feel used. I have been so stupid, but pm me bout that as I don't want to broadcast my stupidness.