bullying? what do you think it is?

Im just curious because in my experience bullying is the first word that jumps into most parents head if there is any trouble at school.

Kids fall out all the time, and sometimes there is a bit of pushing and shoving but generally it is very short lived and the kids are friends again. But when parents find out about the falling out they seem to jump to the conclusion, because their child has been called a name by another on one occasion, or their child has been pushed, that thier child is being bullied and the school should do something about it. And by the time the school recieve the bullying allegation and talk to the children they kids have forgotten the incident and are best pals again.

What do you think bullying is?

My daughter has been having a rough time adjusting to a new school and classmates. The kids in her class are trying to get used to lots of new kids and it's become overwhelming for Candra. She has been a bit mean to some select classmates and she talks of being friends with one kid one day and not being friends with them the next day. This rollercoaster friendships sometimes make me wonder what the heck is going on and her behaviour seems like she has a behaviour problem. After all that there hasn't been one mention of the word bully even though there are bully awareness posters all over the small school.

I think it is very unfair to lable a child a bully. There's always an underlying reason for violent behaviour. Maybe there is a problem at the kids home or they are experiencing a confusing transition.
Besides, if you say "that kids a bully" then the kid is going to take it as it is and be one. It creates an aura of hopelessness for change in their behaviour because the child will think they are naturally bad, therefor they can't and won't change.
Children don't want to spend their childhood without friends and feared. Children want to have fun and have friends.

I was taught that bullying is on-going mental, verbal or physical abuse that takes place on regular occasions. That an isolated incident is not actually bullying, just 'being nasty'.
I think we all for hurt for our children if someone has been mean to them and worry it could lead to bullying.

I would say bullying is something which is done over a period of time, not just one occasion of a falling out.

Charlotte will sometimes come home and say no-one would play with her, but the next morning she will be chatting, playing and laughing with kids in her class. I know Charlotte can be be a bossy boots, and a stubborn little thing lol, so I think it is more like she was bossing the other kids around and they decided to go off and play somewhere else and leave her to it!!! I've seen her boss George around because he wasn't playing how she wanted him to

It does worry me about Charlotte being bullied, but I know I can't get hung up over it. I was bullied in primary school, for a good year or so by a very horrible girl and although my mum complained about it, nothing was done to stop it happening. I think things are dealt with differently now to what was done when I was younger. I think my mum was told that basically I had to stick it out until the girl decided to turn her attentions onto someone else I think now if I'd been told that I would not be happy.

i was bullied in school in primary and secondary school primary by a boy in the year above me and in secondary school by the people who were my friends for nearly 2-2.5years before one day turning on me and i later found out from one of that group of people in our last year at school it was because my eczema had gotton bad at the time.

bullying is as kel described ongoing mental or physical abuse. feelings alone and isolated scared to go places in case these people are there. scared to tell anyone as the perpretrators said if you tell it will get worse (either mentally or threatened with violence)

being best friends one day and not the next and then being friends again a day or 2 later is just kids being kids

Im so glad you guys agree with me that it is an ongoing problem and falling out one day and being friends the next day is just kids being kids. I thought I was missing something.

I also agree with everyone else that 'bullying' is ongoing physiscal or mental ay buse over a period of time. I was bullied at secondary school from almost the minute i started until the day i left and i am terrified my children will go through the same thing. However i am a realist and i know there will be times when my children and their friends will fall out and argue and then be friends again. I am determined not to pass my holdups on to my kids and jump in at the deepend at the drop of a hat. Kids are always going to be kids and argue and fight like kids do. I do think more people need to realise this before jumping head first and accusing parents/kids and teachers of all sorts! Xx Xx

Kel got it spot on. Bulling is ongoing not just a one off occurance.

I was bullied all through primary & high school and it has left me with zero confidence in myself and in my abilities. I'm hoping that because of what I went through I 'll be able to spot if anything like that is happening to George before it gets out of hand.

I agree with everything that has been said - it is not a one off thing

I was bullied by girls in my class in my first year of secondary school because........wait for it...................I had started my period!!! Seriously!!! In my class including me there were 9 girls and only one of them was friendly to me; and 15 years later she is still my best mate but the other girls would exclude me from their games and groups, they would call me slag one minute then the next minute be saying I was too fat and ugly to have friends. Fortunately I had other friends but unfortunately they were in other classes.
In the second year there they seemed to change abit though as my confidence grew and I was having fun with my other friends it was actually abit like I had out-grown them and left them behind and not being bothered about their bullying anymore not only stopped them from doing it but also seemed to put me above them in the hierarchy. Plus by then I was quite good friends with some of the boys in my class and was happy talking to them and hanging out.
But I tell you what when it was happening I felt sick every morning sitting in my form room feeling their dagger eyes in my back and I'd dread certain lessons where I might actually have to work with any of them or worse still the lessons I'd have to stand up in front of them for a presentation, knowing they would rip into me after.
I'm a million miles from that prson now and think I only put up with it back then because I went through a hard time at home when I was young and was already so insecure I didn't know how to take any more. Now I'm the first to bite if trouble is brewing and the last to back down!! I'd wipe the floor with those bitches now

GTTkel said:
I was taught that bullying is on-going mental, verbal or physical abuse that takes place on regular occasions. That an isolated incident is not actually bullying, just 'being nasty'.
I think we all for hurt for our children if someone has been mean to them and worry it could lead to bullying.

No parent would want their kid to get bullied in anyway. Luckily, there are ways to handle a bully. Like, make the punishment fit the crime, correct signs of bullying at home, encourage good behavior and so on. This, I think can help keep the kids from becoming bullies.

It is to trouble somebody intentionally to fulfill some purpose.