A fight over something stupid

Justin and i had a stupid fight and i feel so bad for Vic.We never really argue much but on sunday we let our tempers get the better of us and Vic saw it all.I/we are so ashamed and feel so bad for him the poor little guy went of to kindy yesterday in tears even though we told him we were silly and it wont happen again,i even had to tell his kindy teacher what had happen just incase he was upset during the day (he was fine).
On Sunday night i was going to go out with some friends for a birthday,as i was getting ready i could tell my DH was in a moody mood he was muttering under his breath and stomping around the house then just as i was about to leave he was snoring away in the back room. (he was meant to watch the kids).
So i woke him up and he just lost it??He started raving and ranting like a crackpot it was quite scary he just wouldnt stop so i walked away,got changed into my pj's called my friend and told her i wont be going.When my DH came into the living room he went mad at me for not going out(i could tell all day he didnt want me to go)so my confusion at what game he was trying to play turned to anger and i started yelling abuse back at him (this all happened while vic was snuggled under my arm pit begging us to stop)fighting especially in front of the kids just never happens in our house DH started packing his bags and said he had enough and he didnt need us anymore so i threw his clothes at him and told him if he leaves never to come back after a few more minutes of screaming clothes flying arond the room Vic just let out a blood curdeling scream.I seriously thought he had hurt himself but he was holding on to his daddys leg pleading with him not to go. DH and i just took one look at him and we saw what damage we were causing i think we both just went into shock at what we had just put our son through i am so ashamed and guilty of doing something i always promised my self i would never do. We sat down with DS and had a chat we all calmed down i/we were feeling devestated and confused as to what the hell caused us to get to this point we lead a pretty normal calm loving life???after DS went to bed DH and i sat and had a chat about the whole situation and i was so upset as to what my DH told me (his father has totally cut all of his children out of his life and told him he especially dislikes him/me out of all his children and doesnt want to know our kids but will maintain a relationship with his brothers children)so this has made my DH feel so insecure at the moment.He didnt want to tell me as he thought i would get upset and ruin my night out (which it did anyway)I dont feel hurt by my father in laws actions but in nearly ruined a good marriage and my sons trust in his parents.We are all good now but it still hurts for my DH.

Oh my, what an awful thing to have happened, i can't imagine what your father-in-law is thinking? Have they always had a difficult relationship? Your DH must have been in turmoil after that was said! It's a shame he didn't talk to you about it before it kicked off into a big fight but please don't blame yourself for all of this. It was just one of those in the heat of the moment situations and we have all done things we wish we hadn't in the past! It sounds as though you have done the right things in calming vic down and making him see it was just a silly row.Sitting him down and telling talking to him together. I'm sure he will forget all about it in a day od two, kids a very resilient like that. It was also important for you and DH to sit down and chat about what had caused all this, which you have so you have rectified the situation as best as possible.
As for the father in law, i know it won't help DH much but at the end of the day it will be him that is missing out, not having his son and daughter-in-law and beautiful grandchildren in his life! Sending big your way hun Xx

you FIL needs a good smack

i hope your DH can cut the ties cleanly and doesn't get too hung up on what was said

it might be worth talking to his brothers about what was said and how it made him feel

I totally agree he needs a good boot up the behind,but as you said it is his problem.My DH is struggling with this all not for himself but for the kids.Vic is nearly 5 and he only sees his grandpa at his cousins birthdays.My FIL treats my DH nephews like gold but our son (who is named after him)barely gets a second look and as far as our baby goes he doesnt even bother.Its sad but i think my DH has always known his dad is an ass .
He cant handle that we dont rely on him for anything and we have made it on our own.He had a reall problem with the fact that i owned my own home and was financially secure before my DH and i got together(women are meant to rely on men in his books).My DH is just upset over the fact that our DS will start asking questions one day (he already has)he doesnt even know that he is his grandpa anymore we have to tell him who he is(we wont be doing that anymore).

It happens hun, sometimes anger and emotions get the best of us and we forget that there are little ears hearing and little eyes seeing everything. Aaralyn's dad and I got into it pretty loudly one time in front of her and I felt horrible. She was about 3 and she told me that she never wanted to see me and daddy be mean to each other again I swore that day forward that we would never let things get "heated" in front of her again.

I hope things have stayed on the good track for you guys now and as far as Justin's father is concerned, try not to let it get to you guys so much, it's totally his loss!!

Big 's to you guys!