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I need Teen Help

LucyLucy
posted 9 years 9 months ago
Ok, heres the deal -

Gemma is 11, her friend Megan is 12, Megan is going shopping on saturday in the Town.

She wants to take several girls including Gemma and Lilli.

Now Megan is a good year older than all the other, they will ride the bus into Town, go to the shops, get themselves lunch and ride the bus home.

But heres the stinger....No adult is going.

Now do i say no because there is no adult and Gemma miss out on a shopping trip? Do i make a fuss to make sure the Mum goes with them? Do I go and supervise them myself?

Should it be up to me to insist that an adult be present?

I want to let her go, but she only just 11 and shes done it before but with much older kids and Tom, hes responsible enough to look after her, but i dont trust other teens that I dont know.

What do i do? Someone tell me im not a stupid worrywart!!!!
:embarassed:


hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 9 months ago
You are not a stupid worrywart!!! I would have the same exact concerns as you and I'd probably be wanting to go myself as well.

Have you spoken to the other mums about it?? I would try to talk to them and see what their opinion is, I can't imagine too many moms would not be concerned that their 11 and 12 year daughters were going into town to shop by themselves.

How do you think Gemma would feel if you kind of invited yourself along but promised to lurk in the shadows so to speak and still let them do their thing???

Good luck babe, that is a definate dilema!

LucyLucy
posted 9 years 9 months ago
well i only got asked about this about 30 mins ago, it put me on the spot!

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 9 months ago
I would just tell Gemma that you can't give her an answer yet that you have to discuss with her dad and maybe some of the other mums before you're ready to make a decision about it... just curious, about how many girls would be going?? If it were a big group of good girls then I may consider it but I'd be really apprehensive about it too!

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 9 years 9 months ago
I used to be allowed into town (Leeds city centre) around that age myself, but I would find a payphone and just ring my mum to tell her we'd arrived safely, how long we were going to be and when to expect me home. The others I went with all did the same so I never felt silly or anything.

Have you got a mobile you can lend her just while she goes out just incase?

I must admit I'm not overly sure I would want Charlotte going off on her own at 11, not into Leeds center anyway No

When are they wanting to go? Is there any chance you could invite this girl around for tea, so you can kind of size her up to see if she's mature enough?? Embarassed

glowingsunglowingsun
posted 9 years 9 months ago
I'm 24 now but I remember my first time on a bus alone. It was so libertating and scary at the same time. I was 13.
Your daughter will be friends so she will feel more secure. This is a start to test more of her independence and trust.
You will need to make sure she is prepared to know what to do if something happens. Try role playing with her. Also, make sure she has spare change (not for the homeless) in case she needs to use a payphone to call you if there is an emergency. You can give her a cellphone, too. Have a meeting with your daughters friends and all the parents to make sure everyone is on the same page and make it clear to the kids that this is a serious privilage. You can also help the kids work out a travel plan for kids to follow. You can use a bus schedule. And then take a map of your city and have them map out where they are headed. Have them take a miniture map to prevent them from getting lost. And make sure they know where to catch the bus for on the way home. Set a time when they should be returning home and make sure all the kids call their parents at each interval (When they are in the town, mid time, and when they are about to leave for home.
The idea is preparation. I hope all goes well. Goodluck.

gypseygypsey
posted 9 years 9 months ago
she seems like a well balanced girl chelsea started goin town wen she was 11 but she had mobile wich i rung every hr just to double check she was ok...i think honestly i would give her the chance to go..but set boundarys Smile

Bri25Bri25
posted 9 years 9 months ago
Thats though but i agree with "Gypsey" Give her a chance but with boundarys Yes

LucyLucy
posted 9 years 9 months ago
she has a mobile phone and I know Megan she lives round the corner.

I think part of me says shes too young and the other half of me says let her do it, but i have to say that Tom was 13 b4 i let him.

She can do it I know she can, but shes my baby and i dont want her to grow up too fast you know?

mum2popsnjakmum2popsnjak
posted 9 years 9 months ago
Hmmm this is a tough one hun, i think i would be feeling the same as you.

Is gemma used to buses? Does she get a public bus to school? She sounds like a pretty level headed girl. How far away is town from you? I think i would let her go in the end? After a long discussion that she knows what to do in the event of a problem. Also get her to ring a few times or tell her you will ring her at set intervals to check she is ok? I suppose they do have to earn some trust at some point? I would definitely have the same concerns though hun! Hug

LucyLucy
posted 9 years 9 months ago

mum2popsnjak said:
Hmmm this is a tough one hun, i think i would be feeling the same as you.

Is gemma used to buses? Does she get a public bus to school? She sounds like a pretty level headed girl. How far away is town from you? I think i would let her go in the end? After a long discussion that she knows what to do in the event of a problem. Also get her to ring a few times or tell her you will ring her at set intervals to check she is ok? I suppose they do have to earn some trust at some point? I would definitely have the same concerns though hun! Hug


Shes ridden the bus with me and once with her brother, yeah shes level headed but shes only just 11, she turned 11 in june.

Im sure shed do just fine, but its cause she too young that makes me very uneasy

jo-jojo-jo
posted 9 years 9 months ago
Embarassed Im sorry Lucy im going to be the worry wart of our group(but please remember this is only my personal opinion).I wouldnt let my child go at 11 i think its still a bit to young to go into town unsupervised(i dont know what its like over there).It sounds like Gemma is very mature though and she wouldnt do anything silly.

As i said thats just me im the type of mum that stays with my son when he goes to birthday partys etc my DH thinks im way over protective. Embarassed
and i know that i will have to let go one day Upset

kristagkristag
posted 9 years 9 months ago
To be honest, I don't think I'd let Jas go into town on her own at 11 (she's coming up 10 though so maybe by 11 I might change my mind!). I'm worried enough now when she plays outside with the other kids and crosses the road although she's very sensible.

I was about 13 before I could go into town on my own and even then I had to be back by a certain time and tell my mum where I would be going (no mobile phones back them I'm afraid).

I think I'd probably make some excuse that I need to be in town and hovver a bit Embarassed

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