"green" boyfriend strains budget

My spouse is....well...a big pothead. He never smokes it in front of Candra (because I say no). But the cost to keep up his habit, along with regular cigs, is straining our budget. He won't give a proper heads up of how much he's actually spending on either and dealers don't just hand out reciept's. I want to save up for things like a vacation, a car, a wedding. And I want to be able to have a life and do leisure activities with the whole family. He is a loving boyfriend and works extremely hard at demolition job, and it would be nice to see his hard earned money going to something worth while.

hhmmm well, I can honestly say that I never put that as a priority but as a smoker myself, I can say that if he's a hard worker, then it may be the thing that he enjoys relaxing and unwinding with... is he a heavy smoker or once (maybe twice) a day-ish kind when it comes to smoking?

The ciggs should go, coming from a smoker of those too, biggest waste of money and good health any one could ever make!! then why don't I quit???

luckily i dnt have this prob as rich only has a smoke every so often so its alrite and he dnt do it around crystal, altho i can understand how frustratin this can be. have you tried talkin to him about family activities

hapydazy said:
hhmmm well, I can honestly say that I never put that as a priority but as a smoker myself, I can say that if he's a hard worker, then it may be the thing that he enjoys relaxing and unwinding with... is he a heavy smoker or once (maybe twice) a day-ish kind when it comes to smoking?

The ciggs should go, coming from a smoker of those too, biggest waste of money and good health any one could ever make!! then why don't I quit???

He smokes both kinds quite a few times a day. And because he has to do it outside, it cuts quality family time. Frequently he goes off to friends places.

Mikey and I share a smoke together sometimes so it's not an issue for either of us... he does not like my cig smoking though he quit that many years ago, and then next hardest thing either of us do is caffein and the occasionally drink, him occasional, me very occasional

glowingsun said:

hapydazy said:
hhmmm well, I can honestly say that I never put that as a priority but as a smoker myself, I can say that if he's a hard worker, then it may be the thing that he enjoys relaxing and unwinding with... is he a heavy smoker or once (maybe twice) a day-ish kind when it comes to smoking?

The ciggs should go, coming from a smoker of those too, biggest waste of money and good health any one could ever make!! then why don't I quit???

He smokes both kinds quite a few times a day. And because he has to do it outside, it cuts quality family time. Frequently he goes off to friends places.

Maybe he could limit it to just evenings, after Candra has gone to sleep... Mike has quite a bit more of a social life than I do and I'm ok with that because I have Aaralyn to be with most importantly and his daughter is 17 and graduated from school so he has a little more freedom there. I enjoy my alone time and my time with just me and Aaralyn so I kinda like it when he goes out with out me sometimes.

Maybe just try to talk to him about it or write him a letter expressing how you feel and how it bothers you and see what he has to say from there?

Good luck hun

Maybe he should cut down on both but don't pressure him into quitting all together. Maybe explain how his cutting down will benefit all of you

When I first met Martin, he smoked and smoked a bit of weed occasionally, he gave up when we bought our first house together because the money needed to be spent doing it up and paying the mortgage. He did still occasionally smoke socially mainly and had a few sneaky spliffs but he won't touch any of it now since his lung went.

Tell him he can do it but you are going to look after the finances and the money that is left he can spend of it providing you have money to go out and be a family. I wouldn't go out with someone that does it, but I dunno whats it like as I haven't tried it. Say he doesn't do it during the day as its unfair on your LO. In the evening he can but only a few times a week as you need your quality time together in the evenings. As it will put pressure on your relationship as well as the financial side