Is it me or him???

MissDing
posted 1 decade 5 years ago

Hi i am new to this site and could do with some advice from other mums!
I have two little boys Jamie who is four in September and Joshua who is 18 months. I am 22 and have been having real problems with Jamie.
He has been badly behaved on and off for the past year and i have no idea why. He used to be such a loving little boy but now he is a monster!!
Even the preschool are involved as he is badly behaved with them. He shouts all the time,swears and generally doesn't do anything he is told.
It is really starting to get me down and it makes me feel so I have tried loads of different methods and Jamie even has a support worker.
Is it me or him?? And how do i learn to cope??

soup
posted 1 decade 5 years ago

my nearly four year old boy is a little monkey

do you have any parenting books handy ? even though im not a new mum i still pick them up from the library and read through them

its amazing the stuff you start to forget to do - i read a great book recently (so great i want to own it so im looking around for a copy) its called how to behave so that your children do too
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_b/202-19921...e&x=0&y=0

lots of great stuff in there that i had stopped doing without realising ( ive also just seen he has a preschooler one too i might have to buy)

also his at a good age for a sticker/reward chart, im sure alex can give you some info on this as we are not doing it yet here

candgsmum
posted 1 decade 5 years ago

Hugs to you

First thing try not to blame yourself, you will lose confidence in yourself and it will be a mental block to you, as you will get yourself into the mindset that you can't cope, if you see what I mean.

My 2yr old is a big tantrumer, we found that the more we told him to stop or interacting with him while he did it made him worse, so in the end we had to ignore it, where ever we were. I know its so hard to get past those dirty looks all the time but after a while it worked and he realised he wasn't getting anything back and the tantrums are pretty much over within a minute.

my older daughter has a 3 tellings off and then its the step and no sweets/pudding etc.

Sorry its not overly great advice but hope it helps x

Lucy
posted 1 decade 5 years ago

has he been assessed, does he have an underlying condition? I just wondered why the support worker?

I hope he starts to behave soon

emz08
posted 1 decade 5 years ago

I have also hap problems with my youngest - he is 4 and has been a monster since he was about 18 months
we have just been put forward for an early intervention behaviour programme which we hopefully do some good

Try not to blame yourself i have been the same and i have always worried what other people think but at the end of the day its you that matters and you can only do your best
im sure he will calm down eventually

MissDing
posted 1 decade 5 years ago

Thanks for the tips.
Jamie has got a support worker because of his behavior at the school and they wanted to make sure it wasn't something like ADHD. They don't think it is they say "he has problems expressing his feelings and assumes anger is the only outlet he has"
I have been doing a surestart parenting course for the last 6 weeks getting ideas but so far no luck!

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