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Help what to do?

LihraLihra
posted 9 years 7 months ago
didnt know where to put this so mods can move it if they want..

On Sunday i have my 18yr old brother in law from south africa coming to live with us.

In my small 2 bed house that has allready 2 adults and 2kids.

I have only met him once 2yrs ago i hardly know him. But my OH promised his parents that hios bro can stay and the way it sounds is that he will be here for at least 1yr. I havent the room or time to look after some one elses child all be he 18. But what can i do and how do i tell my OH without upsetting him.

HELP!!!!


mumof2_jomumof2_jo
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Wow Hun a year is a long time to have to make room for someone my house is has too bed rooms I also have 2 dont know where i'd fit another body LOL.....

Lets just hope he helps you around the house and maybe he will baby sit for you Wink

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 7 months ago
That's a toughie hun, have you not talked to hubby at all yet about the fact that it would be very crowded and disrupt your children's routine? That's a hard one because it's family... I wish I could give you some better advise Hug

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 9 years 7 months ago
I can understand your worries hun, especially if you hardly know him.

I think it's a bit unfair that your OH has said OK but not really cleared it, or thought of the consequences, but like you said he's family, which makes it harder to say 'no' without looking the baddie.

Hug

crazy_girlcrazy_girl
posted 9 years 7 months ago
have u not got a shed hehe...talk to ur oh bout it..tell him u aint really got the room

daisy33daisy33
posted 9 years 7 months ago
I agree shed or garage???

Mmmm tricky one, where is he ment to stay?

Think the sofa is about it i recon?

Bless you, hope you sort it out

xxxx

LucyLucy
posted 9 years 7 months ago
maybe you can use the settee or hell have to kip on the floor, take it or leave it

kristagkristag
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Gosh sounds like a difficult situation.

Could you not suggest he can stay for a week or so until he gets in at a youth hostel or something? It really doesn't sound like you either need the extra person or have room for him.

Perhaps have a chat with your OH. Maybe he hasn't really thought this through.

I presume he will be working here for a year? If so, surely he could rent a room in a house with some other teenagers and have a bit of fun rather than sleeping on your sofa...worth suggesting it that way maybe Wink

LihraLihra
posted 9 years 7 months ago
when it was first brought up i only had the one child and was in the process of buying a 3 bed house (which fell through) so i agreed 11/2yrs on he is actually coming. he has said he will help out and since i dont drive take me to playschool and so on. but as it stands i still have no idea how we will all fit..
We are supposed to be moving my 2yr old into my room and him taking hers but i am worried about the distruption as my daughter only saw him the once at 6mnths old so does not know him either.

The shed is a great idea if i had one. Have been thinking of a tent though LOL.

Should prob add he is coming over to learn that not everything is handed to him on a silver plater and his parents are having problems with him.

kristagkristag
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Gosh, so you are going to be the disciplinarian too! You have a big task on your hands hon.

Your daughter may not like being moved to your room and giving up her own. It's just my opinion, but I'd be inclined to keep my family happy first and make him just that little bit uncomfortable with being there, ie. don't give him his own room. I'm just a meanie though Embarassed

As circumstances have changed significantly since you said yes, can't you simply say no or 'just for a month' or something?

I hope you find a solution soon Hug

LihraLihra
posted 9 years 7 months ago
I would have him on the sofa but being worried as he is a teenager that he will sleep in late and i would either keep the kids upstairs or have them downstairs and try to keep them quite

gypseygypsey
posted 9 years 7 months ago

Lihra said:
I would have him on the sofa but being worried as he is a teenager that he will sleep in late and i would either keep the kids upstairs or have them downstairs and try to keep them quite
No sorry but i wudnt keep mine upstairs or keep em quiet he should understand that u have kids and shud get up earliy so u can lead ur lives as normal ie.sitting on setee.

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Hun, please don't get upset with my honesty, but here goes... the more you post about the situation the more I see you are having to change you and your kids whole life around to accomodate another "child" who sounds like he may already think the world revolves around him. I see this totally causing problems and resentment between you and your hubby. This is just a view from an outsider, but it really sounds like you don't have the room and you'll be sacrificing alot.

I hope it works out for all of you somehow but just don't feel afraid to stand up for yourself when it comes to your immediate family.

Gosh, I know that sounds harsh but I really feel bad for you in this situation Hug

LihraLihra
posted 9 years 7 months ago
dont worry happydazy it's right and a wake up call

staceybstaceyb
posted 9 years 7 months ago
- My blog

hapydazy said:
Hun, please don't get upset with my honesty, but here goes... the more you post about the situation the more I see you are having to change you and your kids whole life around to accomodate another "child" who sounds like he may already think the world revolves around him. I see this totally causing problems and resentment between you and your hubby. This is just a view from an outsider, but it really sounds like you don't have the room and you'll be sacrificing alot.

I hope it works out for all of you somehow but just don't feel afraid to stand up for yourself when it comes to your immediate family.

Gosh, I know that sounds harsh but I really feel bad for you in this situation Hug


i have to agree with tammy here hun. good luck x

soupsoup
posted 9 years 7 months ago

Lihra said:
I would have him on the sofa but being worried as he is a teenager that he will sleep in late and i would either keep the kids upstairs or have them downstairs and try to keep them quite


oh god no dont do that

come charging downstairs with the kids at 7 am as normal and whack the telly on and let the kids jump on him like a trampoline

he will just have to get a good nights sleep wont he?

LihraLihra
posted 9 years 7 months ago
well he got here yesterday and it's allready going wrong....

















He PEED in my garden,
He SMOKED in my house, i smoke but outside,
He leaves the toilet seat up,
The kids are scared of him,
He spent all day yesterday watching DVD's

I hate it and my hubby keeps sayinhg i'll deal with it.



Well i tell you im gonna deal with it



He's going and soon

gypseygypsey
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Hug Hug aw hope it gets sorted soon for you

stressedmumstressedmum
posted 9 years 7 months ago
just sending big hugs ur way hun Hug , wat a situation, just remember its yours and your familys home, and if any thin he should respect that, wats all that about peein in the garden,xx

gypseygypsey
posted 9 years 7 months ago
i can understand kids weeing in garden Shocked but a adult lazy get

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