*wave* Hello everyone xx

Hiya all,

I am completely new to the forum - was having a read and it seems such a nice place so I might just move in!!

This last year I have really felt broody and have been with my partner for 5 years (I am 29 and he is 35) in the beginning of our relationship I avoided all talk about babies and family as I knew he was a 'slow committer' however now we have bought our first house and has somewhat warmed to the idea of a family 'at one point' ideally wanting to wait another few years before talking about it again.

Rationally - I want to be pleased that he has agreed to start discussing a family in a couple of years and I am relatively young...

But..... I am starting to get that jealousy tweak when I meet up with pregnant friends or their babies (I only got 2 friends left who arent pregnant or parents already) and I think I am managing to hide it externally but it is eating me up on the inside, and I find on a sensitive day I will make an excuse to avoid an encounter and that just makes me feel selfish, childish and irrational.

Oh what a peaceful life a man without hormones must have!!!

I would like to honour him not feeling ready but at the same time I also know that he didnt feel ready for the house and he is absolutely loving it and has become the most proud man in debt for the next 30 years I know!
(he is not keen on changes....)

After 7 years of having a coil I am now having it removed at the end of this month and I have made it quite clear that I will not go on the pill, as I have had enough battles with side effects previously (hence the coil in the first place which has never caused me any problems at all). Am I unfair if I was to stand my ground and just ask him to see what happens from now on?

I do not want to be unreasonable but considering the time it can take and the fact we could have problems, I would be devastated waiting for two years - then to find that out

What do you think?

Sorry for the long rant!!!!!!!! I do hope it all makes sense!

xxxxxxx thank you if you made it this far, feels a bit lighter on my chest already!

Hey hun, I'm Tammy, welcome to JP!

I understand what you mean about being one of the only friends with out kids. It was the same for me for a while as I didn't have my daughter till I was 33 yrs old and by that time several of my friends had kids already.


I don't think you'd be wrong to talk about the "what if's" now that you're not going to have any type of contraceptive. I think so many people don't think they're ready for kids until they actually have them. I wasn't ready, that's for sure but now that my daughter (who is 5 now) is in my life I couldn't imagine it without her

I'm sorry I don't really have much good advise, but just wishing you luck and hope for you that you can work this out so that you both are happy

If you are getting that feeling it does sound like you are ready to get baby making. I know you don't want to push your man into anything BUT after 5 years together and now with a mortgage surely the lo0ve and commitment is there and these are good foundations for a family. Also if you have made it clear you will not be using contraception the ball's in his court, ask him how he would feel about it now.

welcome to JP and I would say that after having my first child at 28 i would recommend that you start soon, my daughter was born when i was 31 and now i have my family complete im 42 they are now independant and they dont need so much attention just more money!!!

i think that nature isnt kind to women so if you are broody then get dtd!!!

good luck it might take a little time to fall by that time hell have come round to the idea

Hi there and welcome to JP

I had Harrison just under 7 months ago and i am 33 next month. I myself really started wanting children at 29 but my partner did not feel as ready as myself(i think that is men generally thou) They often need a push with alot of things and then once they have done it they think its great.

I think you wil get there before 2 years. I am sure it will work out for you

Hope to speak soon

ta ta for now

xx

This forum is great! Thank you so much for your messages - you are already making me feel better

I was feeling like I was going mad being really unreasonable and girly - but your messages makes it soo much better and I feel supported

I think sometimes it worth remembering just how different men/women are (and I am not saying that in a feminist kinda way I think its a good balance at times) a good example was the other night in the kitchen when we cooked dinner together and he was quite enjoying it (normally I cook) I was praising him lots and asked him whether it wouldnt it be lovely if we did this once a week...

Bless him for his reply:

'I am not always in the mood....'

As soon as he said it he went
I didnt even have to make a point about perhaps working 45 hours weeks meself and I didnt always stampede into the kitchen to feed us

Although cliche I think to a certain extend women are programmed to nurture and men just kinda think about themselves first.

So I do think you are quite right that they need a push Daisy!

It is just trying to balance my hormone raging needs towards something that is sensible for both of us!

Massive hugs to you all xxxx

Hope you have a nice weekend

Where are you living in the UK?

XX

hi and welcome babe

xxx

THanks for the warm welcome

I am in Eastbourne, East Sussex x

You in UK too?

xx

Yes i live in the Midlands(Warwickshire)

xxx

welcome to JP hun.