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LinusLinus
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Hiya all,

I am completely new to the forum - was having a read and it seems such a nice place so I might just move in!! Love

This last year I have really felt broody and have been with my partner for 5 years (I am 29 and he is 35) in the beginning of our relationship I avoided all talk about babies and family as I knew he was a 'slow committer' however now we have bought our first house and has somewhat warmed to the idea of a family 'at one point' ideally wanting to wait another few years before talking about it again.

Rationally - I want to be pleased that he has agreed to start discussing a family in a couple of years and I am relatively young...

But..... I am starting to get that jealousy tweak when I meet up with pregnant friends or their babies (I only got 2 friends left who arent pregnant or parents already) and I think I am managing to hide it externally but it is eating me up on the inside, and I find on a sensitive day I will make an excuse to avoid an encounter and that just makes me feel selfish, childish and irrational.

Oh what a peaceful life a man without hormones must have!!!

I would like to honour him not feeling ready but at the same time I also know that he didnt feel ready for the house and he is absolutely loving it and has become the most proud man in debt for the next 30 years I know! Yes
(he is not keen on changes....)

After 7 years of having a coil I am now having it removed at the end of this month and I have made it quite clear that I will not go on the pill, as I have had enough battles with side effects previously (hence the coil in the first place which has never caused me any problems at all). Am I unfair if I was to stand my ground and just ask him to see what happens from now on?

I do not want to be unreasonable but considering the time it can take and the fact we could have problems, I would be devastated waiting for two years - then to find that out Confused

What do you think?

Sorry for the long rant!!!!!!!! I do hope it all makes sense!

xxxxxxx thank you if you made it this far, feels a bit lighter on my chest already!


hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Hey hun, I'm Tammy, welcome to JP!

I understand what you mean about being one of the only friends with out kids. It was the same for me for a while as I didn't have my daughter till I was 33 yrs old and by that time several of my friends had kids already.


I don't think you'd be wrong to talk about the "what if's" now that you're not going to have any type of contraceptive. I think so many people don't think they're ready for kids until they actually have them. I wasn't ready, that's for sure but now that my daughter (who is 5 now) is in my life I couldn't imagine it without her Very Happy

I'm sorry I don't really have much good advise, but just wishing you luck and hope for you that you can work this out so that you both are happy Hug

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 7 months ago
If you are getting that feeling it does sound like you are ready to get baby making. I know you don't want to push your man into anything BUT after 5 years together and now with a mortgage surely the lo0ve and commitment is there and these are good foundations for a family. Also if you have made it clear you will not be using contraception the ball's in his court, ask him how he would feel about it now.

LucyLucy
posted 9 years 7 months ago
welcome to JP and I would say that after having my first child at 28 i would recommend that you start soon, my daughter was born when i was 31 and now i have my family complete im 42 they are now independant and they dont need so much attention just more money!!!

i think that nature isnt kind to women so if you are broody then get dtd!!!

good luck it might take a little time to fall by that time hell have come round to the idea

daisy33daisy33
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Hi there and welcome to JP

I had Harrison just under 7 months ago and i am 33 next month. I myself really started wanting children at 29 but my partner did not feel as ready as myself(i think that is men generally thou) They often need a push with alot of things and then once they have done it they think its great.

I think you wil get there before 2 years. I am sure it will work out for you Smile

Hope to speak soon

ta ta for now

xx

LinusLinus
posted 9 years 7 months ago
This forum is great! Thank you so much for your messages - you are already making me feel better Happy

I was feeling like I was going mad Blink being really unreasonable and girly - but your messages makes it soo much better and I feel supported Love

I think sometimes it worth remembering just how different men/women are (and I am not saying that in a feminist kinda way Scared I think its a good balance at times) a good example was the other night in the kitchen when we cooked dinner together and he was quite enjoying it (normally I cook) I was praising him lots and asked him whether it wouldnt it be lovely if we did this once a week...

Bless him for his reply:

'I am not always in the mood....'

As soon as he said it he went Whistling
I didnt even have to make a point about perhaps working 45 hours weeks meself and I didnt always stampede into the kitchen to feed us Blink

Although cliche I think to a certain extend women are programmed to nurture and men just kinda think about themselves first.

So I do think you are quite right that they need a push Daisy!

It is just trying to balance my hormone raging needs towards something that is sensible for both of us!

Massive hugs to you all xxxx Love

daisy33daisy33
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Hope you have a nice weekend

Where are you living in the UK?

XX

bunnigirlbunnigirl
posted 9 years 7 months ago
hi and welcome babe

xxx

LinusLinus
posted 9 years 7 months ago
THanks for the warm welcome Kiss

I am in Eastbourne, East Sussex x

You in UK too?

xx

daisy33daisy33
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Yes i live in the Midlands(Warwickshire)

xxx

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 9 years 7 months ago
Wave welcome to JP hun.

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