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Advice Please: My sons behaviour is awful

hipmommahipmomma
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
My sons behaviour was very bad over the summer, but this was put down to be being depressed, and the upheavel regarding the seperation of me and his dad. (now back together after over a year seperated)

It has started to go very downhill again. He is very rude, will shout and be very aggressive and defiant. Don't get me wrong he can be an angel.

He bit his sister this morning (and he has never bitten anyone in his life) because he had finished his plum and she wouldnt give him hers. He bit hard enough to draw blood and now she has a purple finger!

All the tactics that have seemed to work in the past have lost their effectivness. I have always had the ask once, ask twice with a consequence mentioned, count down from three and then it was naughty corner.

Reading that back i think i have been giving him too many chances already.

I have from today changed naughty corner to time out in the bedroom - because charlie is only 21 months she doesnt understand that she should stay away and leave him alone because he has done something wrong, so it justwasnt working.

Something he hasnt done in months but seems to be coming back is that he is very destructive, jumping on toys, ripping books etc.

It was his continuous difficult behaviour which led to me anxiety depression last summer, and i am anxious to nip this in the bud so as not to end up back where we started.

So, in the spirit of not being afraid to ask for help....HELP!!! lol

Suspect


SassySassy
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
Kiss hipmomma
I know what a trial that can be.
Have you tried giving him a goal to work tward?
It might be worth a try. If he ears it then you have made positive headway, if not it is a firm reminder that Mom and Dad are in control not him.

If he continues to act out aske him if he would like to be treated that way? Bring it right down to his level can be a quick help for kids acting out.

If your worried things are going from bad to worse then take him for a mental health evaluation just to be sure. I did not agree to a full metal evlautaion with my oldest son until he was out of control. It is better to go aheas and be sure that it is just an emotional bump in the road and not a mental health problem that the chaild can not help.

Keep us informed!

hipmommahipmomma
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Thanks for that, I do know that both my younger brother, and my husband suffered from behavioural problems as children, so it is something I try to be aware to look out for.

He was seen by the health visitor (not the same I know) And at the time she didn't seem to think there was really anything to worry about.

It used to be only when he was at home that he played up, but now his behaviour is getting bad at nursery too, despite there being lots of stimulation and things to do.

WitchyPooWitchyPoo
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
disruptive behaviour (like ripping books etc) is usually a sign of frustration, maybe there is something happening or something hes not able to deal with properly but he hasn't got the vocabulary to voice it to you.

as for biting his sister, my youngest used to bite his sister, one day i saw him biting her and i bit him, he never did it again and a few of my friends have said the same thing about biting.

behaviour like his can also be attributed to age, i found my boys had very definite phases of bad behavior as they grew and learned to deal with all the new stuff they were experiencing, or learning/understanding......it could be a combination of lots of things.

you very well could have given him a few too many chances and now hes older hes taking advantage, they all do that, its a constant battle of realigning boundaries as they grow........but its something all parents do.

Having both strict boundaries and punishments for crossing them, and having goals to work towards should help a lot in correcting his behaviour........

shouting and defiant behaviour i would deal with by taking him out of the enviroment, as in sent to his room........telling him he can come down and join in beng part of the family again, when he is being nice, and keep taking him up every time he does it.........be calm and controlled when taking him to his room

be careful not to panic too much and jump on him because you are reading too much into his behaviour because of what happened before with your depression....ALL bad behaviour can be sorted, its just finding the key.....

good luck hon and keep us posted


Kiss

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