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Jelous partner!!

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
Hi there, just asking for your advice/views on a few things that are happening between myself and my partner.
I have been with my partner for over four years and have a 4 month old son together. We were settling into parenting really well until the last few weeks, when my partner has become really jelous of my son! I often go round to my Mums house to visit and when my partner picks me up from there, after him finishing work, myself and my Mum tell him what our lil boy has been up 2 etc....! I didnt think anything of this but last nite my partner just hit the roof!! He was saying that my Mum is gettin 2 involved wiv our son and that he thinks that I should be at home waiting for him to come home from work every night!! Well im not someone that lets blokes walk all over them, so I told him to stop trying to control me and that I can do what I want!! This turned into a MASSIVE argument and he started calling me lazy for not having a job....(I graduated from university, then 2 months later had my son!!) He called me a lot of hurtful names and I got really upset. This is unlike him to behave like this. When I woke up this morning he just carried on like normal, like nothing had happened! Im really unsure of what to do....please help!!!

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
I remember when we had our first little one it was a strange time for us as we were re-establishing our roles and he'd be tired from going to work and I'd be tired from looking after the baby all day. It caused some arguements and resentment between us (and still does occasionally now further down the line and with 2 children). I spend lots of time with my grandparents and I think this is a natural thing to do, as with you going to your mum's. I imagine that your partner doesn't realise how hard it is being with the baby 24/7 and so he thinks he's the one doing all the work-which is of course untrue but I think it can take time to accept the new dynamic in your relationship with parenthood. I think it will get better with time.

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
I think Kel has hit the nail on the head, but also maybe just let him know that what he said hurt you and unreasonable.

Maybe he feels like he's missing out on your baby's firsts and feel annoyed that he is being told by your mum that baby has done this that and the other today and he resents it and feels it should be him that is telling everyone this?

I hope you can sort this out hun xx

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
i know its hard when you are just settling down to parenthood.

I would say he has a bit of a point, but only a bit. Maybe it wouldnt hurt to keep visits to your mums to maybe twice a week, then you can be there when he gets home and welcome him home to his house.

Hes probably feeling a little left out and wants to be part of the comeing home and catching up on the news thing rather than have your mum and you telling him what hes missed while hes been away.

I would say that 4 months is a little soon to return to work, having said that Tom was 4 mnonths when i went back to work, i regret that as i missed his 1st steps, he walked for the 1st time at the childminders! I was gutted.

I missed it when he needed me. I stopped 10 months later and didnt go back till my daughter was 18 months old.

Please give him time and im glad that he doesnt bear grudges arguments has a tendency to build up until someone then says something they regret.

Anyways ill stop prattling and i hope that you can put this behind you and enjoy your baby.

Good Luck

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
Thanks for all of your advice x

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
Apparently alot of men feel totally pushed out and upset as all of a sudden as there not number one any more.

Try and tell him how upset you are.

Seeing your mum is important too, after all you are her baby!!!!

I am sure it will work it self out soon.

Sending you Kiss


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