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advise apprecaited please

xandsmummaxandsmumma
posted 9 years 11 months ago
hi

firstly please dont judge me by what i am saying, i have alwauys doen what i thought was the best for DS (he's 5). im a single mum, i have been since just before i had DS and love being a single mum.

i moved back in with my family and moved abroad. DS and me arent happy here. i have already decided i am moving back to england.

the thing is DS is very unhappy here, he has behaviour issues taht i am struggling to cope with. he has no sleep pattern, last night is a good exaple. he plays outside just about all daya evryday (weather depending) with me and the dog who he adores. then we come in for dinner. he draws etc for 30 + mins, then shower (no bath here unfortunatly) get ready for bed story time etc. this is the routine. he will then creat hell all night long. last night it was 12.45 before he finially gave into sleep. i have to be up by 6 so im exhausted all the darn time. (behaviour issues i am presuling are due to the fact he's tired all the time!).

i am sure this is due to family life as its rather stressfull to say the least.

i have to come back to england in just over 2 weeks, do i just stay and cope finaci_ally (i have a very little money saved up, abnout¨£450, but i have credit cards of about £3k still left to pay off (exdp left me in debt, this is all i have left to pay). or deal with DS for a while longer until the house sells and come back with £5k and no debts.

my heart breaks for DS right now, he's so mixed up. he's such a lovley bubbly hapy little chap thats tearing his hair out righht niow.

as i said please dont judge me, i did what i thought was bnest mopving back in with my parents and it was a huge mistake.

thank you

susi


collegestdntcollegestdnt
posted 9 years 11 months ago
It sounds very hard for you and DS. But I think the best thing to do would be to stay untill your house sells. Then the only thing you need to think about is DS. I wish you luck with what you decide to do! Very Happy

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 9 years 11 months ago
I'm sorry I don't know which solution is best, it sounds as though emotionally moving back is best but financially staying is best and of course where money and housing are concerned it's long winded and a drain.
I just hope you are able to stay calm and happy in the mean time until you are able to come back here.

Kelly_CaitKelly_Cait
posted 9 years 11 months ago
How long have you been over there? Its a big change, so he must fell out of place or confused. Have you tried explaining to him why you have moved?? I would stick it out and just make sure you put a routine in and stick to it and if he is naughty you have to make sure he gets suitable punishment, if he doesn't go to bed then he loses tv or activities that he does do. Tried taking him out on days or rewarding him if he is good? I know it must be hard but bare with it until your back on your feet no point moving back over to England and get into more debt!!!

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 9 years 11 months ago
Hi hun, I'm in the US and last November I moved my daughter (4 1/2 at the time) to several states away from where she was born and used to. It was all for good reasons but it was a little rough for her at first, just getting readjusted to everything new and I saw behaviour changes because of it.

I don't really know what advise to give other than if you stick it out until you are in a better financial situation, he may get adjusted but then go through the same thing again if you guys move back to England.

I wish you the best of luck hun, it's a tough situation Hug

xandsmummaxandsmumma
posted 9 years 11 months ago
thank you all for your advise, my heart is telling me to move him back as he hates france (he was born here and only been to england once for 3 days) but my head says stick it out here until the house sells and move back properly.

were actually housebound all week long as i dont drive. there is no where safe to take him out and about, so a fun time isnt an option either. we do do picnics in the garden and silly things like that.

my dad comes once a week (it my mum DS and me here mon to fri, dad and older brother return for the weekends). when my dad comes DS dosent want to go out he just wants his grandad, so he rarley goes out. i hate this but im not about to force him to go out if he dosent want to (he has no issues going out its just that grandad is the light of his life, same mentality Rolling Eyes

i am going to england in a few weeks time with DS, i think we'll see what happens. right now i think after teh house sells is the opnly viable option

thank you all so very much for your advise

susi

orc30orc30
posted 9 years 11 months ago
Money by the sounds of the thing would be the biggest concern. However, it is also worth considering that September is the beginning of the school year. So it would be good to know where you're going and to be looking at school places. It may be good to be back a couple of weeks before that so that you can both be properly adjusted.

Perhaps when you come back you should speak to the local council in the area you are considering moving to so that you can find out what help you may be entitled to, assuming you will need it initially on your return that is. Without a deposit for a place to rent privately you may struggle to get a place to live. House prices and the mortgage market mean that the £5k you would bring back wouldn't be sufficient for a deposit on a house (at least nowhere that I know of).

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