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Is this unreasonable???

ElementaryElementary
posted 1 decade 2 months ago
Long story - husband had an affair and left in 2006. Now reckons he has no money and cannot pay the mortgage. His voluntary contribution is £240 a month. I am disabled and unable to work.
He and his new partner are expecting new baby at the end of the month, and he has asked if I can be flexible with his access to Martha for the next couple of months!
Now Martha likes spending time with him, but isn't too worried either way. I am not inclined to be too flexible - I have enough problems of my own Shrug


RobRob Admin
posted 1 decade 2 months ago
- My blog
Last edited by Rob 3 years 9 months ago
Have you gone through the CSA to determine how much he legally has to pay? This would potentially go up if he wasn't looking after Martha overnight as much in the next few months.

Whilst I have big issues with the CSA, and certainly advise not paying through them and instead setting up a private monthly payment from your ex, the CSA will at least be able to tell you how much he legally has to give you.

There's a CSA Calculator here which will give you an estimate if you know your ex's salary.

Of course, it might be that he's paying more than the CSA demand, or helping you towards the mortgage seperately from your child support, in which case I don't know what liability he would have to pay you.

Good luck with sorting this out. Money can cause so many issues with separated parents - I think it's important to try and not let this affect your relationship with your ex for the sake of the children.

ElementaryElementary
posted 1 decade 2 months ago
I cannot do the CSA calculator with the rough figures I have unfortunately, and he won't declare these - hence him taking this to court! I was happy with mediation etc. Things like him forging my signature, and the house soon to go into repossession proceedings, make me look at things differently.
Also, him wanting to see Martha whenever suits him, and if he's busy then he's not worried!
So far I have been unwilling to get the CSA involved, but if he keeps pushing..................

hapydazyhapydazy Moderator
posted 1 decade 2 months ago
I don't know how to advise you as I don't know the laws there but I just want to say that I can soooooo relate to your situation. I know Aaralyn's father truely loves her but he thinks that consists of working her into his life only to his convenience and otherwise she's not priority... makes me really angry sometimes!! Mad

Hug 's to ya hun.... hope you guys can come to a good agreement with Martha in mind.

ElementaryElementary
posted 1 decade 2 months ago

hapydazy said:
I don't know how to advise you as I don't know the laws there but I just want to say that I can soooooo relate to your situation. I know Aaralyn's father truely loves her but he thinks that consists of working her into his life only to his convenience and otherwise she's not priority... makes me really angry sometimes!! Mad

Hug 's to ya hun.... hope you guys can come to a good agreement with Martha in mind.

Thank you - I'm happy to work for an agreement, he is making it so hard

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