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My DH family drives me mad.......

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
I know all familys have there ups and downs (mines definatley not perfect)but i cant believe how some familys function??????
My DH is so upset at the moment and i dont blame him the only time his family calls is when they need something or something is wrong and "they cant deal with it".I have seen this happen for years and i have never said anything but now DH has come to me and asked if i noticed that he constantly gets used by them????I didnt answer as i dont want it thrown back in my face one day!! Suspect
There is alot of the green eyed monster lurking in this family and no one is ever happy if you succeed especialy if its my DH,as he is the only one that doesnt and hasnt lived of of his parents for free.His brothers live rent free in there parents rental properties. They dont like the fact that i was well established before we met(i own my own home) he moved in and we have done so much,they always tell him that he was "lucky" and that he has changed,WELL YES he saves money,he has dreams and ambitions that he constantly strives for and has acheieved!!BUT they constantly bag him.Yet when everyone has financiall difficulties hey presto my DH is the best thing that has ever been invented (did someone forget to tell me we one lotto)did he turn into a ATM machine overnite??????lol
He is now feeling resentfull and hurt.
I dont know what to say to him?? at the end of the day his two brothers (his sister lives overseas)are all that he has got and i have a huge close nit family that love him to bits but i know where he is coming from when he says its not the same as the bond he once had with his own family.
I feel so bad for him right now. Upset

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
That really sucks hun!! I don't know what to say other than your DH is very lucky have you and your family to be like his own family, but I know it's not the same.

Big hugs to you and to Justin too Kiss Kiss

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
Ah hun Kiss

i bet he does feel used. it does boggle my mind too how some families function lol. As they saying goes you can't chose your family.

Martin's parents fustrate me sometimes but I kind of just have to bite my lip. They are so rubbish with money, they have doorstep loans coming out of their ears (the ones with the 150% APR) and are forever getting final demands and letters threatening court action or the baliffs. They managed to buy their house from the council last year (how they managed to get a mortgage I will never know) and recently we found out the mortgage is interest only Shocked . Mart is terrified that they will miss payments and have it repossessed then they will be stuffed, it isn't too bad if you get behind on council rent because they can't really throw you out because they will just have to re-home you anyway but it's different with a mortgage.

We had to bail them out in the past (we have always had the money back) but these days we are struggling a lot ourselves to keep our heads above water, let alone be able help them if they needed it. It so annoys me because they constantly eat out or have take aways and any money they have is spent as soon as they get it on trash. Mart tried to point out (nicely) that if his mum made the effort to cook more often and make family meals they wouldn't be struggling so much and maybe weigh less (they are all pretty big) but he was made to feel like he was picking on them and that we were being 'snobby'.

I can sympathise hun, but you have to just grin and bear it unfortunately Kiss x

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