My husband is totally

bugging the crap out of me. Everyday I feel like shaking him hard and screaming "AHHHHHHH" at him. It's a constant battle to motivate him for the important and helpful things like work, DIY, general family/home stuff BUT he has pleanty of enthusiasm for his hobbies. The man is 33 years old with a wife and 2 children under 5, does he not get it?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ah hun

I can't offer any good advice I'm afraid. Maybe ask him if he is OK, maybe he is a little down at the moment?

I can see why you're fustrated though hun

sorry i cant really help as my oh is exactly the same.
i thaught it was just men, my friends hubby is same 2.
ive given up now.

sorry i know it doesnt help but at least u know ur not alone.

i know exactually how you feel hun you are soo not alone mine is 27 he'll be 28 in june he has a 17month old and another due in june yet he still wants to go out and act like a single man (eg: the weekend away hes got in june 2weeks before my due date) talk about priorities!! i dont really know what advise to give you hun i just put up with it!

Sorry i cant be much help hun,i hope he wakes up to him self soon.My DH is 37 and still thinks he is a 20 something year old.Yesterday he went out and brought another car ,we have a baby on the way my DS school fees coming up and our house needs a huge makeover!!and all he can say is "relax it will get done before the baby arrives" (8 weeks)i think not!!!!
but appart from that i couldnt live my life with out him i suppose it goes by how much we woman can put up with in our relationships.

(i put up with alot at the beginning of our relationship and now i know it was worth it,even though i didnt think so back then)

I'm sorry girls!!

Now that summer's here Mike's all about the boats, but it's not gotten to the point of driving me nuts yet.... give it time though he's really not given me too much to gripe about but I guess we're still in the "honeymoon" period, it's really only been 6 months that we've been together ... One thing about him though.... he is NEVER wrong I just let him believe it though and know in my mind who's really right (sometimes anyway).

Ok. Where do I start?

I basically gave up most of my hobbies over a short period of time in combination of spending time at University and then meeting my wife. When we were together I very rarely went out to do things I wanted to do by myself. Occasional bike ride or game of paintball would be about it. I dedicated my spare time outside of work to the family, doing what I thought to be the right thing. All this to be told last year when she left me, that I didn't do enough for myself.

So we can't win can we?

At least you have someone to help some of the time

Im sorry to hear that...things can get a bit frustrating when you feel like you're doing everything on your own . Maybe try talking to him calmly and 'logically' so that you can point out exactly what is bothering you. Because I have realized anger...not the best technique to get your point across . Im sorry I can't offer more advice but open communication always helps.

oh bless, perhaps a bomb up his butt might do the trick

Oh honey all i can say this is men most are the same!!!

My husband is totally the same and is 34 years of age.

He is a great dad mind you

xxx

Lucy said:
oh bless, perhaps a bomb up his butt might do the trick

PMSL!!!!! maybe you should become a marriage guidance counsillor (sp) lololol

orc30 said:
Ok. Where do I start?

I basically gave up most of my hobbies over a short period of time in combination of spending time at University and then meeting my wife. When we were together I very rarely went out to do things I wanted to do by myself. Occasional bike ride or game of paintball would be about it. I dedicated my spare time outside of work to the family, doing what I thought to be the right thing. All this to be told last year when she left me, that I didn't do enough for myself.

So we can't win can we?

No it seems you can't - IMO I know which type I'd rather have - some people always seem to think the grass is greener

Aww I am sending you massive hugs darling - it just reiterates that men seem to show a pattern of 'selfishness' whereas we seem to be programmed to put everyone first (primal instincts )

Check this out: we just bought our first house, we have been together for 5 years - we have NEVER been on holiday together (I am from Denmark but living in UK so we visit my family and also one of his hobbies is stage manager, sound engineer and lighting so we go to two festivals a year where he is working) but not a single weekend at B&B or a tacky resort for a week somewhere warm.

He just told me that he will on his Honda fireblade racing bike (with new tyres @ £300.00) be going to Isle of Man with his dad and some of his biker mates to the tune of £400 for the travel alone AGAIN this year - and i felt destroyed!! he said that he wouldnt have arranged it if he knew we would have bought a house by then but the fact he doesnt cancel it in light of this or comes across more apologetic about it upsets me a little bit.

I earn consdierably less money than him (I used to earn more than him in London but moved away fom there to a place with lower salaries so we could move in and start a life together) How amazing would it have been if he could then find just about £150 and i could dart off to a greek island with one of my friends? all my money goes into food, bills and mortgage so unless he was to do that it looks like my holiday this year is in the garden with my three cats wishing we had children.... honestly!!!

Mean while I am SOOOO broody and want to start a family to which 'he doesnt feel ready'

I get this feeling that it is all geared up to be 'what is good for him'

boiling point? oh yes!

All I can say is - you got my vote of empathy - you are certainly not alone

Massive hugs to you all xx

staceyb said:

Lucy said:
oh bless, perhaps a bomb up his butt might do the trick

PMSL!!!!! maybe you should become a marriage guidance counsillor (sp) lololol

do you reckon i got the qualifications???

Linus said:
Aww I am sending you massive hugs darling - it just reiterates that men seem to show a pattern of 'selfishness' whereas we seem to be programmed to put everyone first (primal instincts )

Check this out: we just bought our first house, we have been together for 5 years - we have NEVER been on holiday together (I am from Denmark but living in UK so we visit my family and also one of his hobbies is stage manager, sound engineer and lighting so we go to two festivals a year where he is working) but not a single weekend at B&B or a tacky resort for a week somewhere warm.

He just told me that he will on his Honda fireblade racing bike (with new tyres @ £300.00) be going to Isle of Man with his dad and some of his biker mates to the tune of £400 for the travel alone AGAIN this year - and i felt destroyed!! he said that he wouldnt have arranged it if he knew we would have bought a house by then but the fact he doesnt cancel it in light of this or comes across more apologetic about it upsets me a little bit.

I earn consdierably less money than him (I used to earn more than him in London but moved away fom there to a place with lower salaries so we could move in and start a life together) How amazing would it have been if he could then find just about £150 and i could dart off to a greek island with one of my friends? all my money goes into food, bills and mortgage so unless he was to do that it looks like my holiday this year is in the garden with my three cats wishing we had children.... honestly!!!

Mean while I am SOOOO broody and want to start a family to which 'he doesnt feel ready'

I get this feeling that it is all geared up to be 'what is good for him'

boiling point? oh yes!

All I can say is - you got my vote of empathy - you are certainly not alone

Massive hugs to you all xx

why are you with this bloke, he sounds very selfish?

As much as I just painted all the bad things in my head at the mo he is an absolute top guy also

he does show a lot of selfish traits and the battle of me wanting to start a family is very much one thing I cannot compromise on - I am 30 in Sept and he is 36 in March

So I am hoping he will redeem himself as with his calmness and wits would be a fantastic dad!