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why wont he sleep?

FfionFfion
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
my son is 12 months old and he just dusnt want to go to sleep! Mad

i am soo tired! he goes to bed @ 6-7ish but dusnt go to sleep till about 9ish he just stays in his cot winging! i have tried everything but nothing works! and now he has started to wake in the night about 3-4 times! i am soo tired!!

any sugestions as what i can do??


AlexAlex Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
is he cold? or maybe teething or a growth spurt. there is so many options . When he wakes in the night- what does he want?

FfionFfion
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
as soon as i pick him up he goes quiet! im really @ my whits end with him! arhhhh lol

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
IMO dont give him what he wants. If he wants picked up place a hand on his tummy and go sshhhssshhh. He is getting comfort but NOT what he wants. gradually stop the touch and then move further from the cot saying ssshhhsssshhh, hopefully what is supposed to happen is you dont have to go into his room just stand at the door and that is enough to sent him back to sleep and eventually he wont need the sshhssshhh.

Joseph used to be a pest at bedtime and I tried this, when he woke at night, and when he cried at going to bed I used to go up after 5 minutes, then 10mins, then every 20mins til he was quiet- I never picked him up just let him now I was about

I hope he settles back soon hun. Kiss

FfionFfion
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
thnx sooo mush hun!!!

ill try it 2moz, hes asleep now! but for how long i dont know lol

kids eh! i feel like such a failur sometimes! im 19 and a single mum to 2kids under 3. there dad makes me feel like poo 2,

god im sorry im in a "feel sorry for my slef" mood 2night! dont know whats up with me! arhhhh

sorry for ranting on!!!

trogettetrogette
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Why does he go to bed at 6-7pm if he doesn't go to sleep until 9? Perhaps his betime is too early? Nighttime Parenting or the No Cry Sleep Solution might be useful reads for you. Got to say that sleep training by leaving them alone when they're unhappy reminds me of the NSPCC advert about the little boy who's learned there's no point in crying.

FfionFfion
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
he goes that early cuz hes tired and winging n stuff down stairs, hell go to sleep for about 20 mins but then wake up,

"Got to say that sleep training by leaving them alone when they're unhappy reminds me of the NSPCC advert about the little boy who's learned there's no point in crying. "

i dont know what your trying to put across in that bit, but i can ashore you i dont leave him crying if hes getting distrest,

thnx for the books tho ill see if i can get them from the library!

trogettetrogette
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
So he's having a nap then... What time does he nap in the day? Has he recently gone from 2 naps to 1? Maybe you can extend his nap earlier in the day by sootjing him back off before he wakes properly? Or make a quiet time nearer 6pm so that he rests but doesn't sleep, and then he can just mooch/play until he's properly tired?

The reference to sleep training was about the other suggestion about leaving them for increasing amounts of time. I know there's a difference between leaving them alone when they're whingeing and when they're properly crying but at 1yo I think there's a world of difference between you being actually there with them and leaving them alone.

FfionFfion
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
yeh he only has one nap now, at about 1-2 hours,

at about 6ish he has a bath n then bed, i read a story to him and his sister and then go down stairs, hes not totaly alone cuz his sisters with him, shes actually good company for him well sonetimes lol

thnx for the sujestions!

sugarsugar Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I did controlled crying with my DD - but its best to start this at a youngish age. They arent left until they get themself into a state but u leave them for a few mins come in comfort them, then put them down and u eventually leave longer gaps between going into thier room, etc. Within 3 days DD used to lay in her bed and go straight to sleep as soon as her head hit the matteress!
Only thing that may be a bit hard is coz of the age of ur son - he's at an age where he isnt stupid - he knows what to do to get ur attention! and he's getting it! i know its hard but i do suggest what alex said and what trogette said about sleep training.
I never had any trouble with lottie going to sleep at night times but i did have to vary her bed times according to when she started to fall to sleep! these varied from 5:30pm-9pm as i picked up a pattern i changed it - she is now almost 4yrs old and goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps til at least 7am the next day and lays in her bed no trouble! It's hard work but it pays off - u just have to be patient hun!

sugarsugar Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
OOooooo all this fun about sleeping reminds me ive gotta start again soon lol! Teeth Very happy

WitchyPooWitchyPoo
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
There is nothing wrong with leaving any baby to cry for a certain amount of time......some babies cry cos they want something, but once you have eliminated everything, thirst, hunger, temperature, given them a cuddle etc, if they still cry then they are doing it cos they want to and not cos they need to, and thats the crying you don't want to give in to....in my opinion it doesn't do them any harm, and constantly giving in to a baby will make a whingy demanding child, and it will only get harder.

The technique of withdrawing gently from them at night, crying or not, is a good one, tho it can be particularly hard for the parent to cope with....but be tough.....

I used to stay with my youngest till he was asleep, spend ages up there, then creep, literally, down the stairs, and you could guarantee that he would take as soon as i was down there, this would take up most of the night, cos i was fixated with him needing to sleep and needing to do it without crying. I was worn out, teary all day, not just at night, i DREADED the nighttime cos i knew i would have to go through it again and again and again........it affected everyone in the house and i felt like such a bad mum......

Then my mum took him for one night to give me a break, and said he was easy to put down, cos she didn't do what i did. When he came back i vowed i would start over, and did,. we would have lots of cuddles before bedtime, then he was in his cot and that was that, i didn't get him up to comfort him, if he cried i would go and reassure him that he was ok and i was there, and gradually the times between crying got shorter and shorter, it was hard at first cos i thought he needed something but i began to learn that he cried cos he just wanted me, and i wasn't going to give in.....it took 2 weeks from start to finish, and at the end of it he would happily go to bed, with a kiss and i would leave and he would go to sleep by himself, my nights were my own again and i stopped dreading the nighttime.

Babies don't always need something, sometimes they just cry and its wrong to suggest that to leave a baby to cry is wrong, i think its far from wrong to be honest, if you know that they are well and need nothing then they don't need to be given into........there is a huge difference from being a good mother and teaching your child to go to sleep by themselves in their own bed, and a bad parent who is neglectful on purpose and worse.

FfionFfion
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
thnx everyone for your replys!

going to try it 2night, but i get a break 2moz night cuz they go to tehre dads on a friday! im going to sleep all day sat heehee!!!

trogettetrogette
posted 1 decade 3 years ago

WitchyPoo said:
There is nothing wrong with leaving any baby to cry for a certain amount of time......some babies cry cos they want something, but once you have eliminated everything, thirst, hunger, temperature, given them a cuddle etc, if they still cry then they are doing it cos they want to and not cos they need to, and thats the crying you don't want to give in to....in my opinion it doesn't do them any harm, and constantly giving in to a baby will make a whingy demanding child, and it will only get harder.


[color=purple]Perhaps you need to read The Science of Parenting then as the research shows that leaving babies alone when they're crying reduces their ability to cope with stress in later life, among other problems.

sugarsugar Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Everyone deals with sleep problems in thier own way hun.
I left my daugther to cry but not so she got so upset she couldnt breathe just so she knew that its ok to cry and mummy is still there. It hasnt done her any harm.
Everyone has different views on the way things are done with children and each are correct in thier own way Smile i think you have to find what suits you best! And i dont believe any book can tell you how to bring up a child - you as a mother have your own instinct and know your child better than anyone else! Books can help and give you ideas but thats it Smile

WitchyPooWitchyPoo
posted 1 decade 3 years ago

trogette said:

WitchyPoo said:
There is nothing wrong with leaving any baby to cry for a certain amount of time......some babies cry cos they want something, but once you have eliminated everything, thirst, hunger, temperature, given them a cuddle etc, if they still cry then they are doing it cos they want to and not cos they need to, and thats the crying you don't want to give in to....in my opinion it doesn't do them any harm, and constantly giving in to a baby will make a whingy demanding child, and it will only get harder.


[color=purple]Perhaps you need to read The Science of Parenting then as the research shows that leaving babies alone when they're crying reduces their ability to cope with stress in later life, among other problems.


Im sorry hon, but i refuse to bring my kids up based on what a books says.......however much its meant to be THE right thing at the time.......i bring my kids up to the way i see fit, and they are fantastic kids, confident, outgoing kids who laugh a lot......im doing a good job no matter what a book says.

Books on how to are the reason mums feel so unsure of their own ablity these day i think, cos they feel they should do this and that, but a book tells them not to or that its wrong! I think molly-coddling babies and children too much breeds insecure, clingy, attention seeking kids (i know a few of those working with kids as i do) so on this we will have to agree to disagree!

sugarsugar Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago

WitchyPoo said:

Im sorry hon, but i refuse to bring my kids up based on what a books says.......however much its meant to be THE right thing at the time.......i bring my kids up to the way i see fit, and they are fantastic kids, confident, outgoing kids who laugh a lot......im doing a good job no matter what a book says.

Books on how to are the reason mums feel so unsure of their own ablity these day i think, cos they feel they should do this and that, but a book tells them not to or that its wrong! I think molly-coddling babies and children too much breeds insecure, clingy, attention seeking kids (i know a few of those working with kids as i do) so on this we will have to agree to disagree! [/color]


I agree with you hun xx this is why i say everyone finds their own way of dealing with sleeping habits/problems etc Smile

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