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Is it my baby or his mums?

frustratedfrustrated
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
IS IT MY BABY OR HIS MUMS??????
Its actually a serious question cos im starting to have doubts!!! We have finally decided on a name.....or so i had thought.
That was until mum-in-law decided she could not pronounce it and has had a complete strop. I kid u not pout and everything.Im now 34 weeks pregnant and am being TOLD i have to change the name.She wants me to name our baby after her daughter as "she has done so much for him".Nice gesture i suppose but would surley have meant more if it was our idea not hers.M.I.L now insists she cannot pronounce the name we have chosen so it must be changed, she is the grandmother after all so apparently she has just as much say as i.
It would not be as bad if she did not reply a blunt no to every other name i suggest , it seems that until i agree that the baby will be given the name she has chosen she is gonna sulk.To make matters worse my partner has just told me to write a list of names about 12 or so and then let his mother choose from that!!! Am i being selfish? Should i just let them both get on with it after all "we will have more children and i can choose their names" he actuallly said that.
I have 2 other children and i liked their names, my ex and i chose together and i had a "feeling" about there names. I know i will regret it if i allow myself to be bullied into doing something im not totally happy with. He has even said he wants us to give his mum parental responsibility so that she can take the child abroad to visit her family and to make her feel involved. Hello!! im the one that needs to be involved.
To add to it all he is not even here. He has been away the whole pregnancy and will not even be there for the birth as he works away so i have no support from him although he always does as she wants anyway so would be useless. I am starting to feel like i should end the relationship just to get a bit of space, enjoy my pregnancy and my baby.
Its not only the name. M.I.L has taken a week off to spend with the baby and help out , great, except she has it in her head that im gonna be moving into her house for that week. As i have said i have 2 other children so that means uprooting them and all 3 of us sleeping in 1 bed for a week , hardly my idea of a rest a 6 year olds foot up your backside does not make for a comfy nights sleep!Ive said no , i would feel more comfortable at home but again ive been ignored she tells everyone we are coming to stay i keep telling her but she just wont listen and he just says i should stay to keep the peace.


Hayley_KevHayley_Kev
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
id tell her where to go! if ur fella is siding with her id kick his ass too!! its your baby - she has no right to that child at all.if something was to happen to u,its the maternal side who get first say,starting with ur parents,then ur siblings and so on - if theres no1 else then it goes to the paternal side.

sorry not to be much help but im abit bored of hearing all these MIL problem posts and nobody doing anything about it!! instead of moaning on here - speak to her,if ur fella doesnt back u up he obviously aint the man u would want to spend the rest of ur life with!

the amount of posts on here about interfering MILs,everyone should get together and start a anti-MIL campaign lol!

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
I'm sorry but he's stupid for letting her walk all over him!!! My dad told me he didn't like George as a name for my son and an aunt was very vocal about how she thought it was a horrible name. I told them both to stuff it, he's my son not theirs, as did my hubby, he backed me up.

You aren't being selfish at all hun.

mad_mummad_mum
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
Hi hun. I, too have problems with OH's mum!!

Whatever you do, DO NOT allow this woman parental responsibility, she will then have the same rights as you do, then you truely will have no say in your childs life.

Whatever decisions are made about this child should be made by you and your partner together, not his mother. Go in a sulk of your own, see how he likes that. Tell him straight it is you who carries this child, ultimately you are responsible. She doesn't need parental responsibility to take the child out of the country on holiday, all she needs is the parents permission. Sounds to me as if she is just looking for ways which she can interfere all the more!

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
Stick up for yourself, do NOT let this selfish cow MIL walk all over you. If I were in your situation I'd be telling my other half his mum could stick it up her Angry and if he didn't like it he could go back and live with her. You're probably more polite than I am though lol!

frustratedfrustrated
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
Been moaning to my friend all morning too! Did have a chat wit him last night again and he agreed that we should not change the name but then this morning he said she really cant say it and is not just being awkward so we will have to at least look for other names.
The name we have chosen is Aalia (said ar - leah) she says oli-a My ex who is the father of my other 2 is called oli so when she says it she makes it sound very simmilar to his name..... clever huh!!!
She says its her Irish accent that makes it hard for her to say it but its because we have decided on an Islamic name as he is muslim. She wants us to choose an irish name not an asian name so every name we like she pulls a face!
I love the name and can picture our little girl when i think of it so no other name is gonna come close. Ive told him that he has to jus explain to her..... his mum his problem!!!!

waldopepperwaldopepper
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
Very happy thats a beautiful name my oh's mother didnt like savannah but i told him tough Angry

RichRich Moderator
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
My advice is, do what YOU want, sod what anyone else thinks. You carry the baby, you will be the ones looking after it, you have the right to decide the name, if she can't pronounce it, tough, she'll have to learn. Never let a parent bully you into something you don't feel comfortable with. Even if you have to resort to tactics such as, if she does'nt stop with this noncense then she does'nt get to see baby at all, sometimes it wakes them up enough to see they have over stepped the mark. Have the courage to tell her to butt out ( politley ), this is your baby, not hers, never will be hers, she needs to grow up.

Thats my 2 pence worth. Keep us posted.

angelmumangelmum
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
It's your child not her's, i'm sure if her mother told her to change her children's names she would defo not go along with it, i would stick to the name you have, your mother in law sounds a selfish old g*t IMO Kiss

catgirl_872catgirl_872
posted 1 decade 1 year ago

frustrated said:
IS IT MY BABY OR HIS MUMS??????
Its actually a serious question cos im starting to have doubts!!! We have finally decided on a name.....or so i had thought.
That was until mum-in-law decided she could not pronounce it and has had a complete strop. I kid u not pout and everything.Im now 34 weeks pregnant and am being TOLD i have to change the name.She wants me to name our baby after her daughter as "she has done so much for him".Nice gesture i suppose but would surley have meant more if it was our idea not hers.M.I.L now insists she cannot pronounce the name we have chosen so it must be changed, she is the grandmother after all so apparently she has just as much say as i.
It would not be as bad if she did not reply a blunt no to every other name i suggest , it seems that until i agree that the baby will be given the name she has chosen she is gonna sulk.To make matters worse my partner has just told me to write a list of names about 12 or so and then let his mother choose from that!!! Am i being selfish? Should i just let them both get on with it after all "we will have more children and i can choose their names" he actuallly said that.
I have 2 other children and i liked their names, my ex and i chose together and i had a "feeling" about there names. I know i will regret it if i allow myself to be bullied into doing something im not totally happy with. He has even said he wants us to give his mum parental responsibility so that she can take the child abroad to visit her family and to make her feel involved. Hello!! im the one that needs to be involved.
To add to it all he is not even here. He has been away the whole pregnancy and will not even be there for the birth as he works away so i have no support from him although he always does as she wants anyway so would be useless. I am starting to feel like i should end the relationship just to get a bit of space, enjoy my pregnancy and my baby.
Its not only the name. M.I.L has taken a week off to spend with the baby and help out , great, except she has it in her head that im gonna be moving into her house for that week. As i have said i have 2 other children so that means uprooting them and all 3 of us sleeping in 1 bed for a week , hardly my idea of a rest a 6 year olds foot up your backside does not make for a comfy nights sleep!Ive said no , i would feel more comfortable at home but again ive been ignored she tells everyone we are coming to stay i keep telling her but she just wont listen and he just says i should stay to keep the peace.


omg girl u poor thing, u got it goin worse than me.
first off in my eyes as the baby is inside u u have more right on the name than anyone, if ur other half isnt there than how is ur mother inlaw buggin u?
because i wouldnt have anythin to do with my inlaw if my husband werent about as he deals with them.
they are always fightin over my kids with him shoutin down the phone sayin we not lettin them see our kids when its not true so i feel just the same as u when u wanna slipt up just to get a break, even tho i love my husband so much and would never break up with him but im always sayin to him that i didnt marry him for his family lol
tell her where to go yea lol
xxxx

catgirl_872catgirl_872
posted 1 decade 1 year ago

Hayley_Kev said:
id tell her where to go! if ur fella is siding with her id kick his ass too!! its your baby - she has no right to that child at all.if something was to happen to u,its the maternal side who get first say,starting with ur parents,then ur siblings and so on - if theres no1 else then it goes to the paternal side.

sorry not to be much help but im abit bored of hearing all these MIL problem posts and nobody doing anything about it!! instead of moaning on here - speak to her,if ur fella doesnt back u up he obviously aint the man u would want to spend the rest of ur life with!

the amount of posts on here about interfering MILs,everyone should get together and start a anti-MIL campaign lol!

we so should, omg does my in laws piss me off lol xxx

mitchmitch
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
firstly you poor t hing !!! Kiss



ERM HELLO !!! lol she needs a reality check !!! Crazy

your body
your womb
YOUR BABY your baby yes YOUR BABY
your rules
your names
your choice yes your choice !!!!
tell her its your way or the high way

the fella wouldnt be in my good books at the min proper dog kennel style,,, lol, who the hell does she think she is.
tell her it aint happnin

Kelly_CaitKelly_Cait
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
Ah hun, some ppl!She can't decide for you and if your fella don't like he dont have to go register the baby and its name so you make up your mind on the name, don't be bullied or they will do it with other things when the baby is born.

Hayls82Hayls82
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
NO NO NO

First of all you poor luv, this is not what you need at 34 weeks gone - the fact is that you have chosen a GORGEOUS name for what I am sure will be a gorgeous little girl.
Your other half should find some backbone and stand up to her, as mitch said its your body, your womb and YOUR baby.
You have nurtured her and carried her for nine months, you have the absolute right to name your child.
It's nothing to do with the MIL and as for moving in with her, NO, you stay at home with you new baby and your children and be a mum - if she kicks off fine, let her.
Say that you would welcome her assistance and advice in the first couple of week and wouldn't mind her spending time at your house during the day.
If she turns her nose up at that, well at least you tried!
Hunny, you concentrate on having that baby, and to be honest you hubby needs to realise that he will be a dad and needs to stand up for the mother of his child, not his mother!
Lots of love and hugs to you xxxxxx

frustratedfrustrated
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
Jus had a phone call from O.H he has had his sis on the phone and MIL has slipped up and said the name perfectly clearly so now they can all c wot i c that she is jus being awkward.Still does not excuse him from being a spinless wimp but at least i dont have to worry about tantrums in the delivery suite when she realises she is not getting her own way!
I understand that he respects his mum they are close and that is good but letting her have the overall say in naming our daughter was jus going over the top. However there is still another 6 weeks to go so plenty of opportunity for another argument!!
Starting to regret my decision to invite her along to the birth now, she is going away for a week when im 36 weeks. My last baby came at 36 weeks so who knows , she would be livid ,would probably think i did it on purpose! as if Very happy ??!!

Kelly_CaitKelly_Cait
posted 1 decade 1 year ago
Haha hun sounds like you and the MIL get on really well lol. Glad you can call your lil one the name you chose! hmm un-invite her or forget to call her when u go into labour lol, supposed to be a happy time for you not a terrible time if she starts an argument.

frustratedfrustrated
posted 1 decade 1 year ago

Kelly_Cait said:
Haha hun sounds like you and the MIL get on really well lol. Glad you can call your lil one the name you chose! hmm un-invite her or forget to call her when u go into labour lol, supposed to be a happy time for you not a terrible time if she starts an argument.

the thing is we do usually get on and if he hadnt let it get this far i probably wouldnt feel the resentment i do. ive told him that basically he's a mummys boy and should be supporting me! hopefully that'll be an end to it now as even his sis is on our side. i really couldnt "forget" to call her when i go onto labour this is her first grandchild and his sisters r 35 and not looking like there gonna have kids anytime soon. anyway u can say anything and get away wit it when ur in labour so it may b the perfect opportunity Angry Angry Angry "i didnt really say that did i? must b all the drugs!!!!!"

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