Friendship troubles

What is it with friends sometimes? Why do they go off in a hump and give you the cold shoulder leaving you wondering what you have done? I can't understand why people don't just come clean.

My close friend did last night over the phone and told me I had upset her by bringing my family with me when I had arranged to meet her (we live a fair distance apart) I had done most of the travelling and was not feeling on good form so had asked my DH to come with me with the kids in case I needed him to drive back as I didn't want to let her down. They went off while me and my friend shopped and I treated her to lunch then two weeks later after not hearing from her she tells me she found the day disappointing because I didn't come alone. If she had asked me on the day I would have been able to explain why and the fact that she is my DD Godmother I didn't think she would be so disappointed to see her.

I don't have many friends as I moved up to Lincoln a few years back and it seems very hard to make new friends here and I am feeling down about it all. Plus the one friend I do have up here is not communicating with me and I can't find out why as she just seems to be trying to fob me off.

I can't help feeling like it is pointless trying so hard to make new friends when it seems so frustratingly difficult to please the friends you already have no matter how hard you try. I feel like I must be a useless friend.

i dont think that was very fair of your friend to have the hump with you AFTER you had spent the day with her and done most of the travellng and treated her to lunch you have all us friends here

I've had many friends like that it's a real pain especially when like you I've moved to a new place and it's hard to start again, I hope your friend realises that under the circumstances she was being unreasonable. It's not like you insisted your hubby and LO were there the entire time!

Hope you can work it out with her.

my story is a long one so i wont bore you with it but basically iv recently lost my best friend due to something which she see's as 'nothing!'.but to me its a really big deal and its something i will never ever forgive her for.
personally i think when you have kids - it proves who your real friends really are - and its people like this we can do without really!

When I had my first little one one of my supposed best friends really let me down. I'd been there for her through areally bad patch where she was in hospital and when her other friends were avoiding her because they didn't know what to do/say I was the one who dropped everything to listen to her and talk things through. Then when my little girl was born my friend turned into this childish, selfish person who didn't care that I'd had a baby and couldn't understand why I had different priorities. I found her getting more awkward and it seemed like it was deliberate like she was testing my frindship and playing stupid games. She'd get sulky and to tell the truth I just didn't have time for it any more. I'd ignored it for a while hoping she'd accept how things were and I was still nice as pie to her but in the end our friendship ended because she was so unreasonable but she still sees her other so called friends who were no-where to be seen when she was going through a tough time. Try explaining and give her a chance to understand, if she's a good friend she should listen and take it on board.

Thanks for your replies guys, they have been really helpful. I thought some of you would have been in a similar situation seeing as we are all parents, it seems to be a comon senario doesn't it I haven't spoken to her since, I think I will wait until she next contacts me, I think then I would have cooled down a bit too! As for the other friend well she is trying to fob me off by the looks so I have given up on her. It's sad though as she came to my DD's Christening, I thought our friendship stood for something. Oh well at least there are nice forums like this one where they seem to be many level headed supportive people.

Things do change loads with friendships. I've just thought about who my top 5 friends were 5 years ago and now only 2 of those people are my friends and I don't see the others now, but luckily recently I have made a couple of new friends since my oldest started school and I've met som other mums who I get on with