Sleepless Nights

:'( Hi I am absolutely desperate for some advice about what to do with my 11 month old and his lack of sleep. Things have got so bad that after 8 weeks of broken nights we caved in and gave him a bottle to stop him from crying. His routine is:

6 - 7am wake bottle
8am - breakfast
9.30am nap for 45 mins
play until 11am
11.30 lunch followed by playtime
12.30 nap until about 2.30pm
bottle & snack & playtime until 5pm
quick nap in the car on the way home.
5.45pm dinner
7pm bath, bottle & bed

Getting him to sleep at night isn't too hard as he goes for his bath and bedtime at 7pm, we put him in his cot after a bottle and pat him to sleep. Sometimes he stands up and cries if we leave the room but he will go back to sleep if we pat him to sleep. He will then sleep until about 10pm when we give him another feed then it's back to sleep until 12.30pm and then the fun begins!!! He just will not settle back to sleep, some nights he is up for 3 hours at a time crying other nights he goes to sleep for 40mins and wakes up again. In the last few weeks we haven't had an unbroken night from midnight to 6am and it is taking its toll on us physically and mentally! We just do not know what to do as I said before we caved in and gave him a bottle last night cos we were so shattered. Oh and to add to our troubles we live in a tiny one bed flat so Z is in the same room as us. There is no room for us to go into the living room so we are all stuck in the same room!!

If anyone out there is in a similar situation and can offer some advice we would be so grateful!

sorry babe i must be lucky my children go to bed at half 7 and stay they till at least 8 7 on school days so i guess i am lucky
just wanted to say good luck with your problem have u tried asking ur hv for advice and help
xxx

Have you tried controlled crying?


I think you need to stop patting him to sleep hun. I had the same problem my little boy finley was waking up all through the night and when i stopped rocking him and leaving him to go to sleep on he's own he stopped waking up so much through the night.

He still gets up once in the night for a bottle and he's 18 months but its much for of an improvement than before.

If you stop patting him to sleep he'l get used to sleeping on he's own and wont expect you to keep seeing to him through the night.

It takes months hun but it worked for me and is worth it now!

If it were me personally I would:-
1. put him in his cot and leave him,no patting
2. give him a little snack again before bed (toast or wheatabix) to fill him up
3. basically never go to him when it's dark so that he establishes the difference between day and night. That daytime and attention time is when it's bright and noisy, and sleep/alone time is when it's dark and quiet.
4. give him only water to drink during night and stick by this, he'll learn he's not getting anything better and will stop bothering to get up after a few nights

Good luck, it can be hard the first few nights but if you're up every night anyway you have to think of the big picture and tell yourself that in a week or two doing these things will pay off and you'll get your 8 hours again

Hun, I really sympathise with what you are going through. We are in the same situation with George. He will have spurt where he seems to sleep through and we think we have cracked it and then he will start waking up again.

We put him in our bed and tbh that is the worst thing we could have done as now he expects to be taken straight into our bed. At the moment he is teething and he wakes up due to that, so last night at around midnight he was in our bed

George is unfortunately a light sleeper and we have found him so different from our daughter who was sleeping through at 3 months and for a good 14 hours each night.

Good luck hun x

If it were me I wouldnt pat him to sleep (he will begin to need these) he is better to settle himself and that will help in the night (might be a few tears to begin with but it will be shorted lived)

I would also give lunch a bit later than 11.30 - it is a long time til tea time- maybe 12.30?(he may feel like he has missed out and needs to catch up if you get what I mean) and then he can still have bottle and snack (if you feel he is hungry at 11ish give a biscuit and a drink in a cup)

also in the night- I would offer water (I did with my son and he soon stopped waking as it wasnt what he wanted) and let him cry back to sleep Im a big believer in controlled crying.

good luck, it can all seem hard the first wee while but I found it does pay off in the long term, once you have decided what you are going to do you have to stick with it and not cave in!

it is hard when u share a room with ur lil un, mine is 3 and half and still in our room as we have a 1 bed flat, and he still wakes in the night now we put it down to DP,s snoring that wakes him up then he climbs into our bed (big mistake) but it seemed good idea at the time lol, but he goes bk off to sleep and we all get a good night but tbh i really dont know what to suggest, except what ever u do dont put him in ur bed lol

Thanks guys for your advice and tips. We slept in the living room last night (not ideal as there is only room for one of us on the sofa so DS was on the floor!!). We wanted to see if it made any difference to Z's night waking but he still woke up 5 times, we didn't give him milk when he woke just water. I guess we need just need to persevere!! I'll keep you all posted if there is any improvements!!

xx

Well done, giving water did work for me with both of mine but it took a few nights. Every time you're tempted to give in be strong and it will help honestly.

I hope it works for you hun. We have also stopped giving George milk in the night and found it has made a difference, if he is desperate for something we give him water and he will have a few sips and that is it.

Last night at about 11.30 shortly after me and DH had gone to bed he cried for about 5 mins and we left him and he settled himself back to sleep, that is the first time he has ever done that! He still awoke at about 4.45 but that is better than most nights!

hiya hun,have you thort about cutting out all the naps? if hes getting too much sleepin the day he wont be as tired during the night.i only allow ethan to have 1 nap after lunch and thats about an hour.i keep him occupied thruout the day,and then he goes bed around 8pm after milk and a biskit,hes then out like a light til about 8:30am,just incase he does wakeup,he always has a beaker of juice in his cot,which he helps himself to and then drifts back off to sleep.
let us all know how you get on hun,fingers crossed for you things will get better soon

HELLO , thanks for the replies and the tips. Last night was a miracle..zack only woke up once at 2am, we gave him some water and he was straight back to sleep until 6am!!! in the morning we were so amazed!!! We are keeping our fingers crossed that he will do the same thing tonight. He has had a really busy day today; playing the park with his nana so hopefully he will have worn himself out a bit. Isn't motherhood fun, during the day you have the most amazing time with your baby then at night you almost live in fear that they will keep you up all night!! bizarre!! anyway hope all is well with you all.

awwwww really pleased for you hun. well done zack

Hun that is fantastic news! My LO has slept through for the last couple of nights too.

Only thing is me and DH are actually more tired because we aren't used to the unbroken sleep lol

gussie said:
HELLO , thanks for the replies and the tips. Last night was a miracle..zack only woke up once at 2am, we gave him some water and he was straight back to sleep until 6am!!! in the morning we were so amazed!!! We are keeping our fingers crossed that he will do the same thing tonight. He has had a really busy day today; playing the park with his nana so hopefully he will have worn himself out a bit. Isn't motherhood fun, during the day you have the most amazing time with your baby then at night you almost live in fear that they will keep you up all night!! bizarre!! anyway hope all is well with you all.

WOOO HOOOO!! Good for you guys, that's great... I know what you mean too about being more tired, I think your body get's used to a certain amount of sleep and then freaks out when you actually get the "right" amount of sleep!!

only just seen this post otherwise i would of proberly just suggested the same things as everyone else! But well done for perservering so far hunnie and i hope the sleep carries on for you all! It is a major achievement to get to where you have from what it was like before so well done to you all!

Cool cool, lets hope this is a sign of good things to come. Even if he does slip back one night still stick with it coz he'll just be testing you. Well done

Hello Ladies

Hope all is good with you all.

Just wanted to give you a quick update: Zack has been sleeping a lot better over the last few nights. He goes down nicely after his bottle and usually wakes up before midnight for a drink of water then its back to sleep until 5 or 6am. It is such an improvement we can't believe it. Your help and advice helped so much so thanks for replying to me in my hour of need.. we were so desperate back then!! We have also moved out of our bedroom and into the living room which has helped as well.

Thanks again...

so pleased Zack is sleeping better now (and you are getting some zzzzzzzzzzzz's)

glad we could help

gussie said:
Hello Ladies

Hope all is good with you all.

Just wanted to give you a quick update: Zack has been sleeping a lot better over the last few nights. He goes down nicely after his bottle and usually wakes up before midnight for a drink of water then its back to sleep until 5 or 6am. It is such an improvement we can't believe it. Your help and advice helped so much so thanks for replying to me in my hour of need.. we were so desperate back then!! We have also moved out of our bedroom and into the living room which has helped as well.



Thanks again...

Glad to hear you guys are gettin some good sleep, hopefully this will be the way from now on