One day many years ago a man, came upon forum with crazy woman. The crazy woman only had a small amount of sugar in her one track mind as most would say. So the man asked the woman, 'Hey there, what is your name?' She blushed deeply and stuttered, "When I was born my mum had no brain and named me dingleberry. That dingleberry was the sexiest name the strange man had ever heard. She said what is your name? he replyed what ever you wish. Then I shall name you Cauliflower! why choose such a name dingleberry? Because i have a strange name. Were our parents related at all? God lets hope not ay?
Then, they wondered what to do next. They noticed a little white chapel and walked through its pretty grounds he even whispered in her ear, "... Why dont we get married here? "because we can't", she responded shyly. Why ever not he replies with a confused tone. what are you afraid of? my big hairy butt? No that can be waxed she said with a grin, it's your knife in your hand that worries me she said with a scared look. But that's for chopping up my dinner he said with an evil glint in his eye then said, “but i wish to forget these worries and kiss Your ever so cute face and have lots of babies with you until… with a *plop* his d*ck fell on the floor and she said For Gods sake, pick that up before somebody stands on it and Thinks it can be barbecued, and eats it then we'll never be able to make babies. But I don't care, I like raw sausage but this one's a bit salty! Get me some mustard quick sharpish. A drink would be nice too!
Suddenly, a very plump looking vicar asked them 'one lump or two?' I’d rather eat a lumpy Pile of poo then eat that big salty sausage, so please don't Put that thing any wear near me or I'll stick a trumpet up your pee hole she said, with evil glint in her eyes. The man was so shocked he got hold of her legs and ripped them apart like chickens thighs while she screamed with delight YESSSSSS!!! I could do with a good wishbone manouvre, but please not so rough! Don't make me get that weird disease that eats away inside u, instead make it slow and funny with abit of tickling, and then I will do the cha- cha whilst singing somewhere over the rainbow and then I will put my legs around ur neck an squeeze tight
until you scream YESSSS with delight. I shall make you want me Each day and night you won't be able to say no to me and my ways of love, He said has long has I making an all my differnt positions, now woman weres my tea? He would be happy foreva after if she cooked him chicken pie with peas and lashings of gravy followed by a bottle of stella and a few down the pub where the landlord smells like cabbage and the beer does too.
Then we will walk in the country and have a romp in the mud, followed by a quick little dip in the stream to cool off before we go for round 2 wich will b even better If we was both naked and jumped up and down and tried 2 reach the sky up. She had very very hairy muffins in her basket for all to eat and break their teeth on even tho they wer not that hard they were certainly very very hairy but also looked a bit like them long pink Curly pigs tails but smelt like Smelly socks.
After a while they decided it wud be fun to run in the river under the bridge and then climb out on the river bank and have a picnic. But then remembered they forgot food, so they saw a deer, caught it and then sunk his teeth into the aniamls thick skin. The woman was shocked and she ran away over the hills screaming "OMG!! my boyfriend is humpin the Sheep in the famers field with some other man and the cows are getting into it too!!" What a shocking thing to see and then i had to resist the urge to jump in and join them. But then i said what if something really really terible happens like i get pregnant by a cow?? well, he replied, then we shall just enjoy it and wait to the three men get home from the shop,buying minstrels and a fluffy hat that i can stick up on the roof top and shout “Moo Baa Moo MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” untill my voice goes all raspy and i cannot shout anymore coz im wearing pink trousers and a yellow ribbon that glistens in the sun.
Can I have those orange sandles that i saw in the pound shop on offer buy one get another pair for free? What a bargin i will look IN THERE TOMORROW WHEN I GO to the man from japan who makes the best chicken fried in batter with melted chocolate and banana flavoured chips yummy yummy and a big bottle of coke too, although I should be dieting. What do you think do we have the right to be thinking about food when we are so over the limit? We should be thinking about having a strong coffee with lots and lots of sugar in so that we sober up and start to act normal like grown ups should do because you know, we don't live in never never land like peter pan does. But i fink dat wud b nice not to have to grow up, we can just be kids foreva, have fun and play game till late at nite when the sun starts to set and the sky and we can sit and watch and live happily ever after, forever!
The End!
What a story!!!!