do you think you could forgive an affair?

As far as i know, this isn't an issue that's affected my relationship and hope it never does but I'd like to think I could forgive. It would take a whole lot longer to forget though.
Also, that would only be in the instance of a one off. Couldn't deal with a proper, going on for months or years fling or if he was a serial cheater

Well, I hope I never have to deal with this. Rob!

I think my perspective on this has changed a little since an ex-partner cheated on me, in that I decided I wouldn't tolerate that sort of thing again. I'm also a big believer that sometimes human beings are stupid, and make mistakes.

I guess it would depend what happened. I suppose a drunken kiss in certain circumstances POSSIBLY be forgiven, but even then I think I'd feel so upset about it that I think I'd have a really bad time getting over it. If it was full sex then I don't think I'd be able to forgive. I have quite low confidence anyway so I think something like that would be a real kick in the teeth, and I'd be gutted if my partner could knowingly do that to me, knowing the effects it could have.

it is not something i would ever be able to forgive. Every single argument we had i would just cast it up. i would have problems having sex again as well as i would be imagining him having sex with someone else.

I'm not sure I thing this is hard to answer unless you are in that situation, I think it would depend on if it was a one off. I could not forgive a full blow affair. and if I did forgive I think I would always be throwing it back ion there face in an argument etc.

well jamie forgave me when i did it so if he ever did it i guess i wud have to forgive him!

not if it happened twice though!

I couldnt but thats because im a very insecure person.
I'm always scared that i am pushing DF away or into someone elses arms which i know he will prob never do but i still wouldnt be able to live with it!

I have forgiven.

I won't go into detail but it happened within our first year and he was very very sorry and I felt that we had something special to loose and I felt we could get over it and he was adamant it was a very silly mistake that he would never repeat. I told him if it was ever repeated he would be out on his ear.

It was hard at first to forget but with time it has got easier and I am glad we did make a go of it as I feel it has made me and us stronger and we have now been together 6 years and have 2 lovely boys and I know he would never hurt me again

Ste cheated on me when we had been together about two months. He slept with his ex girlfriend, and it broke my heart i already loved him after a couple of months so i stayed with him. I dont trust him 100% but i know he would never ever do it to me again. Definatly now that i have finley.

It ruins your relationship when someone cheats. I was confident,bubbily and Ste used to go out when ever he wanted. Now when he goes out i ask him 100 questions when he gets home which isnt nice but i need reasurence.
The girl ste slept with is a **** and she rubbed my face in it. and has caused trouble ever since but i wont listen to her anymore because one time she txted me saying ste was in her bed. when i was at his house and he was in the shower. so shes just a lier who likes to get attention and thinks she can have ste when ever she wants but stes made it clear since it happend that all he wants is me and finley.

I did forgive him that once but i can honestly say hand on my heart if he ever done it again i would be out of the relationship in a flash. I deserve better than that and i would never put finley through it all. Ive got finley to think about now so i couldnt forgive again!!
Sometimes i regret staying with ste because i think about him cheating everyday and believe me it NEVER goes away. But i love him and he is so dedicated to me and finley now im glad i have someone who treats me and finley good.

As far as I know it's never happened here either and I hope it never does. I don't know how exactly I'd deal with it but I know I'd never forgive James if he did. Like a few ppl have already said I'd just cast it up in his face everytime we had a row. I'd probably just walk.

its kinda happened to me . it was my partner, we've been together for 2 years at that point when he decided we shouldnt be together anymore. It broke my heart and only sent me having a nervous breakdown when i discovered hours later he's in another birds bed. I only found this out coz she was in our bed the next morning i came back to pick up stuff.

He came back to me but i threw his stuff out of my flat window leaving him to pick stuff up.

Anyway i still loved him 3 months later when he came running back and amited he still loved me. I took him back and forgave him(idoit i know) with him chucking me another 3 times in a year but love brought me back to him

I dont trust him even now weve been together for 4 years. Hes a lazy f**** but i love him- at least he is here for his boy

I think it would depend on the circumstances but to be honest I'd rather him say to me"I don't want to be with you any more" if he had feelings for someone else and for us to seperate rather than him going behind my back. Atleast then I could make my own way in life and keep some dignity,even if my heart was broken. I just hope I'm never in that situation but I think emotional betrayal is worse than physical because you can't just wipe away feelings they might have for someone else

the kids dad cheeted on me 3 times! and each time i forgave him silly i know, but at the time i loved him! to wards the end of the relationship, which i ended i cheeted on him, i wanted revenge even tho he has never found out, i felt satisfaction, but i do regret it sooooo much! i fell in love with his man and he just treated me like dirt! dont want to go into it 2much but it had an awfull end and i hope i never see him again, so yes afairs do go wrong!

I had an emotional affair Nothing happened sexually, but my emotions went haywire with this guy, he also was married.

His emotions were taking over as well, and he was the one who was stronger and finished our relationship as friends. We never told each other how we felt but you do know?

This is damaging to your relationship as well. I use to constantly think about the other man. I had to let it go for the sake of my marriage, and concentrate on my marriage. My husband knows about it and we're working on our relationship. It's extremely hard but we're getting there.

Danielle x

My husband knows if he has an affair and I find out... he will seriously regret it and he will definately lose me. I have even gone so far as to threaten to do a Lorraine Bobbit on him! HA HA! But in all seriousness, I would be utterly devastated and could never trust him or any man again (It took ages for me to trust him enough to be with him as it is). I know not all men are like this, and I am sure my husband is one of those I can trust implicitly but you never know. The right circumstances and hormones can do things to anyone...

Dont think I would be able to forgive. I would never be able to trust him again! IMO once a cheat always a cheat

I wouldnt be able to forgive, it depends on what he did, if he had a full on affair then i prob couldnt forgive him but if it was like a one nighter then maybe

no i aint a forgiving person piss me off and u have had it

once a cheat always a cheat isnt true. People can change, what about people who are on drugs then stop, you could say once a druggie always a druggie but then people chan change. I dont think its nice to say all people are the same and if you make a mistake your DEFINATLY going to make that mistake again

You can forgive, you'll never forget.

You can get though it and be happy, but things are never quite what they were to begin with.

Well I couldnt because before I got with my DP I had some bad relationships. Found it very hard to trust my DP when we got together but now I do.If I was to find out again would not trust him again. It took me along time to trust him.