my daughters dad...

... has really upset me we had an argument at the weekend over when he was bringing izzy back as he living in the midlands at the moment.we broke up in january and in march we decided to give it another go long distance and sorting out are individual problems before we live together again. well anyway on sunday he told me he couldnt bring izzy back on tuesday and his parents would be bringing her back on tue or thurs! this is the second time in a row now he has tried to changed the dates and we had an argument about it i told him its not on because we agreed those dates and if he couldnt get those dates off work then he had to bring her back on the weekends to which he said he not driving down on weekends.

i told him izzy get to teh age now where she needs more consistancy and stability and to know when she is at dads how long for and when she coming back to mums as otherwise it will mess her up in the head when she a bit older and he told me i need to be flexible (i personally think im being pretty damn flexible)

he then told me that ive changed and im not the person he fell in love with and he doesnt like the person i have become and that i have turned into a B H and that it was over between us.

This was on sunday and i have not heard from him since all correspondence ive had has been through his parents as i get on really well with them (i feel more apart of his family than i do my own)i spoke to his best mate from school on sun who knows the situation between us and he was shocked as my daughters dad spent so long trying to get me back again and that he is being awkward etc etc and he told me i should just give up and move on and find someone else. I just dont think i can becuase yeah he treated my like S**T but i love him we were meant to be getting married in dec 2006 but i fell pregnant so it got postponed he is my most serious relationship and longest relationship and i just cant imagine being with anyone else . I am now really confused as to what to do because i really love him and feel such apart of his family and my whole family hate him and slate him and his family off, any advice?

aww hun i dont have any advice other than follow your heart! sending you some hugs hope you are feeling a little better soon! x

aww hun im sorry things aint working out for you

how come he doesnt live with u hun ( if u dont mind me asking)?

is there no way u can come togther and talk things thru and how u feel about it all?

coz most the time long distance realtionships cant work!

we were living together and we had to move up to the midlands to live with his parents as we lost our flat down here and the council wasnt helping us, wed been having problems for a while before we moved up north so it was like a fresh start for us but i was very unhappy up there and he was always going off and leaving me and not really showing me around the place and i managed to live there for 2 months before giving up as our arguments were getting more and more heated shall we say. orginally when we first got back together he was going to work up there for a bit get some money behind as (one of the main causes of our arguments) and move back down but then after a month or so he told me he didnt want to come back down here now as my family hate him and he wouldnt feel welcome and that hed rather live in a place he hates and feels wanted than a place where he likes and doesnt feel wanted.. so that left me in the situation of do i move back up there which was something i told him id consider as long as we had our own place

ellee1984 said:
we were living together and we had to move up to the midlands to live with his parents as we lost our flat down here and the council wasnt helping us, wed been having problems for a while before we moved up north so it was like a fresh start for us but i was very unhappy up there and he was always going off and leaving me and not really showing me around the place and i managed to live there for 2 months before giving up as our arguments were getting more and more heated shall we say. orginally when we first got back together he was going to work up there for a bit get some money behind as (one of the main causes of our arguments) and move back down but then after a month or so he told me he didnt want to come back down here now as my family hate him and he wouldnt feel welcome and that hed rather live in a place he hates and feels wanted than a place where he likes and doesnt feel wanted.. so that left me in the situation of do i move back up there which was something i told him id consider as long as we had our own place

well maybe conmsider movin back up there and giving it another shot

im really hoping u can work things out

i would but i got a minimum time on my lease and i just gone back to work and he wouldnt let me move up there now hinted at things like that before and he just says it too soon etc

From experience i would say that trying to rebuild a relationship not living to gether and also a long distance apart doesnt work. I went through the same thing, and in the end we had to make a decision, either we got back together and did it properly or we gave up. Luckily we decided to bite the bullet and six months later we are the happiest we have ever been. It does sound like your OH is being very selfish.

I hope it works out for the best for you sweety!

i think he doesnt want to rush it partly because him and i rushed when we first got together we startedgoing out the end of feb engaged by the mid of april he moved down into my parents in may we moved into our own place in the sept and i fell pregnant in the aug/sept and lost it end of sept/beg oct and then found out i was pregnant again at xmas/new years. we both always said we rushed into it and therefore hadnt given ourselves a proper chance to get to know each other etc, if that makes sense. id like to live with him again as it would be nice having him about to help with izzy and i miss the little things you get in relationships the hugs, falling aslp in his arms etc. but i also find i got more freedom since we been living apart as when izzy at her dads i can go out with my mates, drink and just have fun but when him and i were living together i didnt get to do that much.

After our first was born things went totally down hill and we seperated when she was about a year and a half. At the time we thought it was over but then we tried to work on things again(we'd sometimes argue and change our minds back and forth). In the end though we got through it and have since had another baby who is now 14months. My point is that there is hope if you love each other, but I couldn't cope living that far away from my hubby. I hope it works out for you