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Am I over-protective?

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
Recently my daughter who is just 4 has made friends with a girl from our road who is 5 nearly 6. She's quite a nice little girl but the thing that puts me off is that her parents don't look after in the way I look after my children. They let her out to play completeley alone without checking on her and there is no way I'd ever do this. They don't know where she is or when she goes into people's houses (for example when she knocks on our door). The parents talk to me and are nice enough but to be honest they're not the full ticket and seem abit odd,I don't think they are fully aware of 'normal parenting' because of how they are. As I wont let my DD out to play when this girl asks I have recently let her come in to play at ours but now it's the school holidays and they see each other more she's been asking for my daughter to go and play at her's. I just don't know because I think the parents are ok but there's a small part of me saying no I don't feel happy with this. I don't want to upset the girls or be rude to the family though incase they are ok. What should I do?

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
we all have doubts hun were our kids are.
mine are not allowed to play out on the street at all they have a nice big garden at the back with an 8ft gate whaich is locked and bolted all the time no one gets in or out...mine are only 3 and 4

if you have your doubts then they are obviously with good intenet i dont think i would let my kid go to someones house who dont even check on them when there out playing in the street. Tounge Out
stick wioth your guns hun xx

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
Yikes, Aaralyn is 4 and I haven't had to deal with something like that yet. Maybe for the first time, kind of somehow invite yourself as well, and spend some time with the family while your LO is there?? That's a tough situation and I don't think you're being over protective at all, just a good mom! I'd be feeling the same way, so I'll be curious to see what other advise you get too.

Kiss 's to you for being a normal, protective mom!!

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
- My blog
Your not being over protective at all hun! its normal and I would be just the same! I wouldnt allow Mia to go to someones house if the parents dont even check on their own daughter while playing outside! Our children are the most precious things in our life, to protesct and care for them is our role as parents hun you are doing the best for your daughter! Kiss

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
you not bein over protective..i wud be the same..but maybe give the mum the benefit of the doubt and let her play there, whats the worse that could happen? Suspect

maybe they are the kind of parents that have taught them children right from wrong and know they cant go with strangers etc....or maybe she completly trust the people in your street..i mean, my 2 play outside in the street and i cant always watch them coz im either sortin baby out or cooking tea, but i check on them every 10 mins or so and most of the time i can hear i know their safe, maybe i shouldnt let them play outside coz of children bein aduchted etc...i guess im just one of them mums who thinks it wont happen to my kids.. Suspect silly i know..but theres lots of other kids that play out there too so i kinda feel they are safe...i wouldnt want this to affect how ppl see me as a mum tho! Sad Face

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
No your not being at all, it might be best as someone else suggested to invite yourself too, then you can get to know the family and also keep an eye on your daughter. Maybe you could try explaining to the other child that your daughter can only go in this areas and not past them. Let your daughter go out and if she disobeys you then say she can't go out for awhile and hopefully that helps.

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
My kids are 6 and under and i wont allow then out the gate to play with there friends or to play alone in the garden but my mate let's her kids out in the street and it has a buzy road while she is inside Shocked no way would i allow that my kids think me and my partner are mean Sad Face but i'm not just protecting them from danger

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
I dont think your being over protective hun xx do what you heart says xx your little one is only 4 years old and sadly there are alot of strange people out there xx just get to no them more because there are still strangers really, maybe before you little one goes there on there own you need to go for coffee/chat as well to make friends with the other parents.take care xxxx keep us posted xxxx

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
Thanks peeps ,it would be really nice if it were all fine bacause they are a similar age and get on. The other girl goes to the school my DD will be starting in September, so they will be seeing alot more of at play times and stuff. I just need to be clear in my own mind that it's safe for her, I'm glad you can all see where I'm coming from

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
to be honest dont think you can be over protective these days hun, u'r doing a grand job Very happy

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
To be honest hun i would say no. What happens if when over there they let them play outside and something happens? At least if she is at yours you know she is safe. And regarding the other couple have you thought about having a word. You could tell them that you heard that someone has been seen hanging around watching the children int he street ect and hopefully that might scare them into looking after her properly. UI'm dreading it when my son wants to start going out with his friends, he's 4 1/2 at mo so wont be long. I want him to have the kinda childhood we had but too scared that he will be taken, yet dont want him indoors all day watching tv ect, WHAT DO WE DO???

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
i dont let my 2 out of garden 6&4 they do ask but i would rather there friends came and played in mine once i start letting them out that will be it no going back so not going there....there is 1 girl behind us and her mum just lifts her over fence only 4 and her mum never even checks even after they were playing in bedroom for 3 hours other day never saw her mum shocking eh we dont even hardley know her Mad

posted 1 decade 6 years ago
Wow that's just irresponsible!

with regard to OP - make a polite excuse - eg, we're going to the park actually, would so-in-so like to come? Or we're going to soft play blah blah.

We have gut feelings for a reason hon - GO WITH THEM, every time. x

posted 1 decade 6 years ago

lauran said:
You could tell them that you heard that someone has been seen hanging around watching the children int he street ect and hopefully that might scare them into looking after her properly.

i really dont think that is a good suggestion, spreading gossip like that could soon turn into chinese whispers with people being accused and a safe area soon becoming a deserted area!!

every parent parents differently and just because we dont agree with their methods doesnt mean they are wrong.

my son is almost 8 and i get grief off people for allowing him to cross the road outside our door (not too busy) and to go on the park opposite. but i was horrified when he went to a friends for dinner and when i went to pick him up he was across an extremely busy road playing in a pub garden with no adults with him.

in your case kel i think the advice from others seems spot on - invite yourself round for a coffee while your LO plays to see how she parents them. your LO at 4 is too young to be in a strangers house. but at least she is mking friends and this will help her transition to school.



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