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Parenting with illness/disability

glittergirlglittergirl
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hi

I'm only 35 but i've been diagnosed with arthritis which is affecting all joints. Its agonisingly painful and also affects my mobility. I have a 5 yr old daughter who is very lively. I share residency of her with my ex husband. I havent told him about my illness as i dont feel he's entitled to know now. What i'm worried about is the fact that it could affect the quality time i spend with my daughter. Sadly my arthritis is genetic, passed down by my mother ( who i'm estranged from ). I remember being a kid and wanting her to play ball with me, crawl around the floor etc and her not being able to. I was disappointed that she couldnt. I dont want my daughter to be the same. I do my best, i play as much as i can with her, out in the garden, around the house but there are going to be times when its just not possible. Sometimes i have to stop for a while now and my daughter does say ' oh c'mon mummy, just a bit longer...' I do get very tired at times.

She's a very empathic child, she knows something isnt right with me now and does give me lots of cuddles to 'take the pain away' and also she puts plasters on my joints to 'make them better'...aww bless her. But obviously being so young, she wants to play with her mummy, especially as we spend so much time apart. How can i be a good parent and cope with my 'disability' without compromising on the quality time we spend together? There are times when i'm pushing myself through the pain barrier just so i can play ball, run about with her etc. I dont want her feeling the way i did when i was younger about my mother.

I feel so guilty about it all although i know its not my fault.


HayleyHayley
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
awww hun..its great that u are doing as much as u can with her, and she obv appreciates you, u cant force yourself anymore hun, u seem to be doing everything u can! Kiss

just sittin down togther and watchin a dvd is quality time hun and havin a cuddle.. Love

hapydazyhapydazy
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hi Glittergirl... Meg seems to be a pretty bright little girl. Maybe if you explain to her that mommy has boo boo's and there's certain things you can do with her and certain things you can't do, she may understand?

Kiss 's for what you're going through... we don't expect these things until we get old. This won't effect the love that your LO gets from you and that's most important. As far as telling her Dad, I don't think you should have to if you're not comfortable with him knowing. Good luck hun, I hope today is a good day for you Very happy

glittergirlglittergirl
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
hi there

I'm actually very blessed with megs. She so wise beyond her years! I've always been honest with her right from the start. I explained to her about my hysterectomy last year. She knows about the womb now due to reading a body book so she knows that babies grow inside that. I explained that my womb was taken away as it was making me poorly. I also explained that i wont be able to have any more babies and asked her if she minded not having any 'living' brothers and sisters. She knows about her sister in heaven. She said she doesnt mind and said that she's glad she doesnt have to 'share' me with anyone else lol Her dad is in a relationship with a woman who's got two kids so she plays with them a lot now. She also knows about my psoriasis, she obviously doesnt understand the reasons why i've got it, just knows that my skin gets very sore. She loves putting plasters on everything so i'm usually covered in them! lol She's a very empathic little girl. She also loves playing with my wrist and knee supports lol I guess its just me thats worrying about it, she'll take it all in her stride like she usually does and i'm sure she wont mind if we do 'sit down' games and activities. We absolutely adore each other and she's my little buddy. I'm sure it'll be fine.

hapydazyhapydazy
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Your Megs sounds so much like Aaralyn and your relationship with her sounds like ours too! It helps to have an empathetic child as I've been through some rough spots since I've had Aaralyn and she just seems to know the right things to say to make me feel better. They are such blessed little gifts we all have here Love

jade-leighjade-leigh
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
theres so much more too been a mum than rolling about the floor XXX u have just gotta give what u can and i bet thats alot so dont punish ur self

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hey hun as long as she knows that you love her that is the most important thing.

Ever since I can remember my mum has been ill with one thing or another. She was hospitalised while pregnant with my youngest brother from the day she found out she was expecting practically until she gave birth. She had a hysterectomy at 28 and when I was about 10 she was diagnosed with MS.

We just got on with it, I know this sounds sad but we just didn't know any better and I suppose found it easier to do so.

Meg sounds like she is very understanding and very caring, you are doing a great job hun x

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