New house for the wife and kids - advice please

Hi

As most of you will know from my other posts my wife is leaving me and taking the kids with her. Today, well yesterday now, we sorted out the paperwork for the place she is going to be renting. She is unable to move in until 16 August. The next day me and the kids (she was meant to be coming) are going on holiday for 2 weeks with my mum and some other family members. We get back on the sunday before they start back to school.

I'm trying to work out what is best for the kids. Should we move them all across to her new place on the Thursday? It might be tight for the time to get everything moved across that day and as it is the day before the holiday I also need to be getting ready to go on that. I am also concerned about the affect that it would have on the kids, living in one house before the holiday and another afterwards.

Or should we move her on that day, and then let the kids come back to the house they are familiar with and then move them one week later after they are back to school? This way the kids would come home to a familiar location and then we would have time to move their stuff and get the new place sorted for them in a less frantic way. This does however mean moving them during school time, although it won't direct affect school as they would be going to the same ones and not missing any time.

I personally think your wife needs to move there and then the kids after but this is just my opinion. I don't really know you but how old are your children? I wish i could make everything right for you and the worst part is having children involved
HugsShell
x

I think the second option would be better for the kids, and at least they can enjoy their holiday and come back and settle into school, would your wife go for the second option though ?

To be honest they are probably so excited about the holiday that the second option will be best in my opinion. Maybe moving and then going straight on holiday will be too much for them.

Not only that it will give time for your wife to sort out the house without the kids being there and then when it comes to them moving in too she can dedicate a bit more time helping to sorting out their room with them, IYSWIM?

I hope everything works out with the move and have a lovely holiday x

i agree with the others hun. the second option i think would be easier on the kids. good luck xxx

yes the second idea is best i think

Let their mum move in first because then she can try and get it sorted out and homely for the kids. Whenever they move it's going to tough on all of you, try and talk to them as much as possible and give them information that is relevant to them

I also agree with the 2nd option xxx hope you all have a fab holiday

I also agree that the second option would be best i think

Thanks guys. My preference was the second option but wanted outside advice to make sure this was not just me. My wife seems to be coming around to that idea as well now. I think she reaslises that it is not as easy as she expected.

We told the kids on Sunday evening what was happening. Well we told them that mummy and them are moving to a new house without daddy becuase it is not fair for them to see us arguing. No blame assigned.

I just hope that they can see that I am not abandoning them.

awwwwwww hun. im sure they know yr not abandoning them and that you love them very much. (((((((((huge hugs))))))))) and good luck hun xxxx

I think it is very strange what does or does not affect children. I think when you split (as me and my OH did although we got back together after 18months) You put huge amounts of effort into reassuring them and they cope very well.

A couple of months ago there was a breakdown of communication and we went to pick up my hubby from work, waited 1 1/2 hours and then gave up and went home. He had had to finish late but i hadnt got the message. Josh now gets very upset if his dad isnt out and in the car within 10 mins of us being there!

orc30 said:
Thanks guys. My preference was the second option but wanted outside advice to make sure this was not just me. My wife seems to be coming around to that idea as well now. I think she reaslises that it is not as easy as she expected.

We told the kids on Sunday evening what was happening. Well we told them that mummy and them are moving to a new house without daddy becuase it is not fair for them to see us arguing. No blame assigned.

I just hope that they can see that I am not abandoning them.

they wont think that hun

My hubbyb and I seperated ages ago back when we just had one little one. He moved out but still saw her all the time and his relationship with our DD was just the same as always. I think as long as the two of you remain amicable in front of the children and the contact is very regular you'll be just fine