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A message of Hope

glittergirlglittergirl
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
hi

I just wanted to post something that might be of hope to those who are awaiting or undergoing fertility treatment.

During my 1st marriage, i lost 3 babes at 12 weeks of pregnancy. After my marriage ended, i met my 2nd husband, we got married and started trying for a baby. Nothing was happening, we went by the calendar each month and sometimes i was even 2 weeks late but always false alarms. We went to the fertility clinic and they did tests. I thought the prob lay with me due to me losing the 3 babes but the problem actually lay with my (now ex) husband. He was told that he would never be able to father a baby naturally due to having a very low count. The sperm that he did have were very sluggish so instead of IVF, we were told we would actually need ICSI. We were naturally devestated. We couldnt afford ICSI at that point but the clinic wanted us back two months later anyway for a few more tests. That was Nov 2000. We went away and had a great Xmas. We went back to the clinic on 16th Jan 2001. I was 10 days late but i put it down to stress of everything that had happened. The doc wanted me to have a pregnancy test anyway which i thought was a waste of time. My husband stayed in the waiting room. I went off with the nurse and she did the test. She turned to me and said that it looked like we didnt need to save up afterall....it was POSITIVE! Well my husband could hear me shrieking all the way from the waiting room so he dashed down to see if i was ok. The colour drained from his face when i told him i was pregnant! He wasnt upset, just as i was.. shocked! The doc wasnt really that surprised, he said it could happen and has happened with couples in the past but rarely and it might not happen again. So we floated out the clinic on cloud 9. Sorry but this part of the story doesnt have a happy ending. I went into prem labour at 6 months and gave birth to our beautiful daughter emily rose, she passed away when they cut the cord. We will love her forever.

Part 2:

3 months after emily died, we took ourselves away to Jersey. It was our wedding anniversary on the same day as it would've been emily's due date and we didnt want to be home. On Emily's due date/our anniversary, we walked along the beach, wrote messages in the sand to emily and blew her a kiss across the sea. Then we went and celebrated our anniversary...

A month after getting home, i had to do a pregnancy test as par course due to having a womb xray booked. They were finally looking into why i'd lost 4 babes in a row. My husband was out and i was home alone. I knew what the test would come as... so i sat in the bathroom waiting for nothing to happen...but the test turned pink! I was pregnant for the 2nd time with my supposedly infertile husband, naturally!!! We werent emotionally ready for another pregnancy, we hadnt taken precautions as we were told it most likely wouldnt happen again and we were saving up for treatment for when we were ready. But we couldnt let this babe go without a fight so we let nature take its course and just prepared ourselves for the worst. Well the worst did come but i was under the care of B'ham Women's hospital Fetal Med team and they put a cervical stitch in at 17 weeks when a scan showed i was dilating again. I was kept on bedrest in hospital for 2 months then allowed home, having weekly scans.

30 May 2002 at 1.04pm.. Megan Louise was born at 37 weeks, by emergency C sect ( she was playing skippy with her cord Wink ) weighing 5lb 3oz Love Very happy Kiss

After 10 yrs of heartbreak, 3 m/c and the stillbirth of our gorgeous emily.. i finally had a living breathing beautiful baby. That babe is now 5 yrs old, at school and is the love of my life. Sadly our marriage didnt stand up to the stresses of grief and my subsequent pnd but we love our little girl and share the most amazing journey in having her.

So dont ever give up hope. Kiss

We were told we'd never have a child naturally... my husband went on to father 2 beautiful little girls within 9 months! So out of those sluggish sperm.. 2 made it! Very happy

Hope this has helped a little. Very happy


jo-jojo-jo
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Kiss OH hun Firstly big hugs to you.After going through so much you are a strong woman.I was blessed with my son who is now 3 and a half we conceived on our first try.Seven months ago i suffered a mc at 8 weeks and i still havn't conceived since then.The doctors cant see any reason for me not conceiving so we are just playing the waiting game for now.You have been through so much and you were finally blessed with Megan Louise i wish you both all the best life has to offer.Thanks for sharing that with us hun Love i love happy endings xxxx

glittergirlglittergirl
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
thanks jo-jo

Even after 5 yrs, i still have to pinch myself that she's really mine! Kiss Love

She's even more special as she'll be my only living child.. i had a hysterectomy last year at the age of 34. No words can describe how honoured and blessed i am to be her mummy. She's the most loving,empathic,beautiful child i've ever met, although i am biased Very happy When i had my hysterectomy last year, she wanted to look after me and even put a plaster on my tummy to 'make it better'. Kiss She's been a real trouper through a difficult time too, she was only 2 when me and her dad split up but she's come through it with such maturity and wisdom beyond her years. She's truly a gift i treasure and cherish.

I still mourn my other precious gift, Emily Rose. Crying Losing her was the most horrendous experience i am glad i will never go through again. My lasting memory is that of her kicking me just before she was born, as if to say 'goodbye mummy '. But last year i had something happen that has made it a little easier to bear... i saw her peeping round the wall at me in my living room, in the middle of the afternoon. She'd grown from a baby to a gorgeous little girl, very much like Megan, only taller. Megan was with her father 200 miles away at the time! Shocked I have since been told that it was indeed Emily,( by a trusted and genuine medium who knew nothing of my past), 'checking on her mummy to make sure she was ok'. She even passed the message on from my late grandad saying he's looking after emily and also is very proud of Megan...he died in 1990! I've been told that my grandad and emily are with me a lot of the time, especially when i'm feeling down, my grandad strokes my hair which i've felt but never knew what the heck was happening or why. Emily watches her sister playing and sleeping but has never appeared to her as she doesnt want to frighten her. That brings me comfort beyond words.

I think i'll stop waffling now Wink Embarassed

jo-jojo-jo
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Kiss oh hun thats what we are here for so you can waffle on all you want.Having a child at times is so surreal i still wake up everyday thinking WOW i am a mum,i have a child whom i love soo much.I hope that your precious Emily Rose and your beloved grandfather continue to watch over you.Its so cute that Megan Louise wanted to put a plaster on you after your operation she sounds like a true little angel (Very mature) for a five year old.I hope you have recovered from your op and are comforted by knowing your little girl is always there with you and Megan Louise.Im always up for a chat so feel free to Waffle when ever you want lol.Take care hun xxxx Kiss

shellshell
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Thank you for sharing your amazing story with us, I am sure you will manage to give people hope and those people who are giving up then they just need to take each day as it comes. Admittenly you have been thru so much but least you got there.

Shell.xx

glittergirlglittergirl
posted 1 decade 3 years ago

shell said:
Thank you for sharing your amazing story with us, I am sure you will manage to give people hope and those people who are giving up then they just need to take each day as it comes. Admittenly you have been thru so much but least you got there.

Shell.xx


yep, took 10 yrs from when i first fell pg to finally achieving the dream.

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