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Any step parents to young adults?

posted 1 decade 7 years ago
hi. I've got a 20 yr old stepson who's just about doin my head in. Are there any other step parents out there who i could talk to or gain advice about surviving step parenthood please before i go off my rocker! lol Angry Wink

thanks! Very happy

posted 1 decade 7 years ago
No im not sorry, just wanted to say it must be hard hun Kiss

Sure some on here are that will have advise Wink

posted 1 decade 7 years ago
hi theree.
i have an 18 year old step son and sometimes he does my head in to, the way he his speaks to me and his dad and other general young mans stuff.
to be honest i just tell him, if speaks out of term to me, i tell him same goes for his dad.
at the end of the day they want to be treated like adults, i would'nt let any other adult speak to me like it so i treat him as he an adult.
dont get me wrong i love my step son to bits hes a great lad and we all have a lot of fun together but just every now and then he steps out line Crazy

posted 1 decade 7 years ago
im 20, can he really be that bad and why he still livin with u? lol xx

posted 1 decade 7 years ago
hi again

we're really going through it with my fiance's son just now. He lost his mum when he was 16, she passed away due to MRSA after having her leg amputated due to diabetes. I've never tried to be his mother and he knows that, i've tried being a 'maternal friend'. He used to be a member of the Mormon church, as was his mother. When he was 18, he met his first gf and after a while, he fell away from the church, leaving altogether eventually. He started drinking, going out til all hours, having sex. He's got himself into 2k's worth of debt too. He split from his first gf after 18 months, then has gone from one girl to the next. He speaks to me and his father like we're poo on his shoe. He does nothing to help around the house. He works and pays his dad an agreed amount monthly to help towards bills ( both his father and i are on disability due to ill health). But he's of the opinion that because he pays his dad this amount, he doesnt have to do anything around the house. His room is like a toxic waste dump. I lent him £900 to buy a second hand car and he's basically treating that the same as his others, its a mobile skip. He is paying me back the money but i'm having to wait for it. He was all nice to me beforehand and as soon as i handed over the cheque, he was back to his usual sulking self. We've tried everything from talking to him about his attitude, shouting to him about his attitude, threatening him about his attitude...but it goes in one ear and out the other. He makes no attempt to help himself make the situation better. He cant afford to move out and to be honest, he wouldnt be mature enough to take on the responsibilites. He doesnt even let the dog out for a wee without throwing some sort of 'Kevin' tantrum. He's slagged his dad off to his mates over paying 'keep' money and he also told his ex gf's mum last year about me clipping him round the ear.. basically making me out to be a child beater! She was gonna come up the house and give me what for!!! Teeth Angry

3 yrs ago, we were lenient with him, as it hadnt been long since losing him mum. He accepted me into the family with no probs, he was glad his dad had found someone. I had so much respect for him as he was a lovely lad then, kind, considerate..he's always been lazy around the house but thats kids for you. But since hitting 18, he's turned into a foul mouthed idiot. We also clash as he reminds me so much of my two ex husbands.. he has the same attitude towards females etc..basically we're on this earth to look after men etc. Last year he really pushed me over the edge, i gave him a clip round the ear.. he pushed me over. He said if i ever touched him again, he'd hit me back and call the police on me and have me on an assualt charge! HE's 6ft... i'm 4ft 10!!! We had another row last night, in fact he and his dad were rowing first of all and i got involved in it...i called him a spoilt little child. If he doesnt get his own way, he stomps about. His dad and i are just about at the end of our tether and its making me ill. I suffer from depression after the death of my daughter 6 yrs ago and i was slowly getting better. I've since had a relapse and i cant afford to become so ill again, i have a 5 yr old daughter who needs me. She spends time with both me and her father ( we divorced in 2006)

What the heck can we do??? Sorry to waffle on but no one around here seems to realise how hard its getting. Neighbours who've known him since he was a babe think he's a lovely lad. Dont get me wrong, i love him to bits but he's turning into every man i've ever known ( apart from his dad who treats me like a Queen).

posted 1 decade 7 years ago
HHmmm... I don't have advise, but I will follow this thread closely. I have been in a relationship for about a year now with a great guy who has a 16 year old daughter. Ok, those who follow my posts, here's the big secret about our great relationship: I have yet to meet his daughter. She sounds like a good girl who gets good grades and doesn't drink or do drugs, wants to go to college, ect.... BUT, she supposedly is a little you know what with a big attitude (her father's not exact words). He is afraid because she has some resentment about he and her mother's breakup (they were never married but together for about 14 years), that she will be a total Angry tch to me and scare me off. I say to him let's give it a chance and let her make her own judgement about me when she meets me, and also, I don't scare off that easily when things are going so well, otherwise, in our relationship.

So, I wish you the best of luck in your situation, and I hope maybe I can learn something from your's and similiar situations as well.

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