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How to tell kids mummy and daddy are separating?

orc30orc30
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hi

Has anybody on here had to tell their kids that mummy and daddy are splitting up? If so do you have any advice on how to tell them?

My wife is leaving me, and although not moving in with him she is already with another man. I am absolutely devastated as she is the one that has ruined the relationship and then takes the kids as well. I don't want them to hate her, but at the same time I don't want them to think that I ever stopped loving my wife or them.

Any ideas?

Thanks

Owen


miarubymiaruby
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
my advice would be to sit them down and tell them together! its only fair that she should be involved in this, tell them that they will be going to live with mummy somewhere else but daddy will still see them and still loves them just as much! also make sure they are aware that if they ever want to come and stay with you they are welcome to hun! its hard to do and i hope i will never have to do it to my daughter, i wish you much luck hun! Sad Face

hapydazyhapydazy
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hi again, Owen it sounds to me like your kids will always know how much you love them. My daughter has never know her father and I to be together (he broke up with me the day I found out I was pregnant) but she still questions why we don't live together or sometimes says are you gonna marry my daddy (he's also in a serious relationship now) It will be confusing for them but I say just talk to them and be honest as you can through the whole thing. time should make things better... more ((((((hugs))))))

orc30orc30
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Thanks. We will be telling them together, at least that is what I hope will happen. I know we need to assure them that it is not their fault and that we both love them.

But do we give them any explanation of why we are splitting up? They are bound to ask why. It's their favourite question.

I don't want to say mummy and daddy don't love each other anymore because I still love her so much and that would be lying to my children. But I don't want to make her out to be a witch (funny since she is one, no really she is a wiccan).

miarubymiaruby
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
erm i really dont know hun maybe you should just tell them that you cant live together anymore as you are arguing and its making you unhappy! what does there mum think you should say? xxx

hapydazyhapydazy
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I apologize if you've posted this before, but how old are your children? When Aaralyn asks me why daddy and mommy aren't married I tell her that we really care about each other and we were brought together so that we could make her but that we weren't meant to live together forever... At this point (being 4 years old) that seems to satisfy her. Her father and I met online and exchanged alot of emails. I've saved them all so that one day when she gets older and wants to read them she will see that we did care alot about each other. Maybe you could save some momentums to show when they are older that their parents did love each other. And I sure hope you're wife does not make all us witches look bad Wink (I am Pagan)

orc30orc30
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hi Hapydazy

The kids are 9, 5 and 3. The eldest is from my wifes previous relationship. He left her when he found out she was pregnant and I have been there since she was 5 months old.

I try not to let peoples actions cause me to judge others, but at the moment with everything being so fresh and still happening, I don't know how I will ever be able to trust a woman in the same way again. Hopefully I will, otherwise I will probably miss out on something that will hopefully be much better a bit further down the line.

hapydazyhapydazy
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Well, the eldest will probably be most affected by this. As you said sweety, it is still fresh and just happening. After time settles things, you will be able to start rebuilding your life again and if it's meant to be (and I'm sure it is) you will be able to trust in someone again. I've had some really bad things happen to me by men and alot of my girl friends say that they could never trust a man again after some of what I've gone through, but ya know what? I know that not every man is like the ones that have hurt me. Your kids will be ok through this too, just be there for them as much as you possibly can be and as you said, just remind them it's not their fault and that you both will always love them and be there for them. Don't forget Owen, you have the same rights with your children as your wife does and if you have to, fight for those rights, don't let her make all the decisions when the outcome affects the whole family.

colecole
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hi, my parents split up when I was 10 and my Dad told us that he was moving out to go live with my Nan for a while. He never gave us a reason why. Sometimes I use to wonder why but never asked and now I am older I am glad I don't know as it is their business and not mine. As long as you both give lots of love, time and attention to your children and don't bring them into your problems I am sure they will be fine (which I sure you do anyway).
It will take them some time to adjust to the new suituation but just be there for them. My Dad moved a 2 hour drive away from us to for a few years. Now he lives 5 minutes away I actually see less of him now cause he has a new family. I'll be thinking of you and your family Kiss

staceybstaceyb
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
hey hun.i split form my ex when Jami was 3 months old. she asks me now why we split. shes 11 now. all ive said is that he wasnt very nice. thing is he was violent and i dont know whether to tell her that. all i canm say is the same as everyone else and just be as honest as you can

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