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The Saga Continues

posted 1 decade 7 years ago

Thanks for all your support so far with the problems between me and my wife.

Well after our trip to New York to try and get things back on track, she went to a wedding with this other man she had feelings for and kissed him. She came back and told me it was over between us as per my last post.

We are still living together until she can find a place for her and the kids. I came home from work on Friday from working away for the week to find out that even though she has no money, she has been out and signed up to a new mobile contract, so she will have two to run side by side for the next 9 months. Anyway that evening having lost trust I took a look at her phone. I found explict messages about them having sex together. When I approached her about it (3am in the morning) she tried to deny it and then came clean that she had been sleeping with him for the last two weeks (I'm not sure that it hasn't been longer).

On Monday last week we went to our first proper session at Relate where she said that through this whole thing she was trying to be honest. What a joke!

I'm absolutely devastated, as I hoped that her willingness to come to Relate might give us some direction to go in, or that at least we would part on as good a terms at possible.

When fixing her PC I found his email address and so yesterday I sent him an email. Right or wrong, I did it. She now tells me that I should consider his geelings!!! Like they were considering mine when they were Angry

She keeps claiming that she cares about me and respects me, so I asked her not to go and see him again until she had moved out, as it wasn't fair on me to have her coming home to our house after being with him. Last night was one of her friends hen nights, and instead of drinking and having fun she stayed sober and then drove to his place (2+ hours) to be with him. If that's respect and caring about somebody then I hate to think what she would do if she hated me.

I just don't see how we can ever be friendly or even civil to each other any more which means that the kids are going to suffer.

The kids heard us arguing yesterday but don't know whats going on. I don't know what to tell them or what to do anymore. I've now got to spend another week away from home for work and am worried what might happen, or I might come back to find.

posted 1 decade 7 years ago
I'm sorry you must be gutted. I'm sure it's little consolation now but I very much doubt the thing with the other guy will last. It's more likely a stepping stone just to cushion the fall and to focus on something she thinks is good so she can block out the break down of your relationship. Maybe you are the stronger one actually facing up to it on your own without clouding your judgement with some dodgy affair. Take care

posted 1 decade 7 years ago
just recently split with my girlfriend so know exactly how your feeling. a little similar also in that she started to put herself back on a dating site and actually started a friendship with someone, trusting as we are you try not to turn into an insecure paranoid nutter, but its hard. i found all this very hard to live with. we had fantastic days together, but when we were apart i felt like i wasnt here. after a few heated conversations she said that i should just go find someone else. which is just great.

anyway, i havent really given you any good advice and kinda looking for some myself.
think that us blokes get a rough time,and that women like to mess with peoples heads more than blokes.
we have to wake up in the morning and think that we are good people and that things will be better.

posted 1 decade 7 years ago
Hi guys, I'm Tammy, 37 (almost 38!) mother of a 4 year old little girl.... I've had some Angry relationships and only 1 year ago I met a really great guy at the laundry mat of all places. We now have a great relationship...there's hope boys!! And hey, if I haven't chalked all men up as being a**es then don't give up on us women yet either, there's still some good one's out there Very happy And in the mean time there's some fun chicks to hang out with on here right! Wink

Hang in there Kiss

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