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Urgently need advice!

becca23254becca23254
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
Okay so I just found out I'm pregnant 2 days ago, and the father hates the idea of the child and wants an abortion. I'm currently undecided on this completely, however i have a lot of support from my family and have considered keeping the child.All I said I wanted from him was to put his name on the birth certificate so my child (if i have it) knows who the father is, and other than that he doesn't have to do anything. Now he's saying he wont even do that and wants some sort of legal thing drawn up to say he's nothing to do with the child, I think mainly he's scared i will try and ask him for money which i have no intention of doing. So I would just like to know where i stand on this, i'd like to put his name on the birth certificate, can i do that without him? Can he make me sign anything to say he's not the father?
I went to the doctor straight after i tested positive and he just smiled said congratulations and asked me to come back in 2 weeks if i want an abortion. Pretty useless to me anyway.
The point is, I'm scared as to what to do now, i dont know where i stand and i'm finding it hard to decide. I just want to do what is right for my baby, but feel the joy of the situation has gone. Any advice is much appreciated.


kirstkirst
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
hello,
well congratulations. but on another note follow ur heart! no he cant make u sign nething stating he's not the father, however u can only put his name on the birth cert if u r married. if u feel strong enough to bring ur child up alone go for it, its the most rewarding thing ever

chezchez
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
hi hunni he sound like hes being a prat. the queation is hunni do you want to keep the baby? are you still with the father? if you are it sounds like hes not worth being with if this is what he is putting you through hunni. if you want this baby do it for yourself noone else and dont sign anything he wants you to sounds like he dont want any responsibilities and is trying to find anyway out of it he has made his bed he should lay in it aswell coz you have to hunni stand your ground on what you want not on what he wants. you have got your family for support hunni you dont need him. If you dont sign anything he cant say the baby isnt his coz when the baby is born you will have to claim for the baby and they will ask the fathers name and get him to pay which he should if he says the baby isnt his they will ask him to do a DNA test to prove that when that comes up he his the dad the proof is there for your baby. you cant put his name on the birth certificate without him hunni but if he is still being nasty after the benefits have done the DNA test you can take him to court to have it put on if you wanted. please do what you want to hunni i know what its like having a man tring to control you its horrible but if you go with what he wants you will regret it. good luck hunni hope your ok x x x Kiss

miarubymiaruby
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
- My blog
hey hun i would definately do what your heart tells you! the father has to accept whatever you choose he has no choice, he is responsible for this as much as you! if you have the support from other people and want this baby then dont let him stop you hun! i have a friend who is a single parent as her boyfriend didnt want the baby and moved away and she is just as good a parent as any 1 else! so dont think you cant do it alone as you can! at the end of the day if you keep this baby it wont be the baby who loses out on anything as you will love it as much as you can, it will be the father who loses out! and trust me 1 day he will regret the whole thing! follow your heart hun! xxx Kiss

AlexAlex Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hiya hun. Welcome to JP

I would do as your heart says- I did and love every minute of being a mummmy and I am on my own. My situation was a bit different to yours I was in a violent relationship. and I considered aborting my baby (ex really wanted a baby) but I couldnt bring up a baby in that environment. Anyway I left him and after having lots of long thinks and conversations with friends and my family I decided to go ahead. Yes it is hard but even being with a partner and doing it together is hard.
The father cant be named on the birth certificate if you go along yourself when you are not married (he would have to be there)

Follow what heart tells you to do.

Good luck Kiss

hapydazyhapydazy
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Hi Becca, my name's Tammy and about 5 years ago I was in a similiar situation. The only difference is that I was 32 years old, didn't have any children and I knew in my heart, after being raped when I was 17 years old and got pregnant as a result,had an abortion, I would never have another one. So, I knew the moment I found out that I was pregnant what my decision would be, but her dad wanted me to have an abortion. I told him the same thing, he didn't have to have any thing to do with her if he didn't want to. She is now almost 4 1/2 and the apple of both of our eyes. I am the custodial parent and take much more responsibility for her than he does (although he wouldn't admit that). It's been a tough road as a single parent but I wouldn't change anything. Something brought her father and I together (maybe her little soul) so that we could create her. Please don't get me wrong, I am still very pro choice and the decision is totally up to you, follow what your heart says sweety. Just know that he may have a change of heart as time goes on.... He should still be absolutely financially responsible for half of everything that this child needs should you choose to go on with your pregnancy. As much as you think that you can do it alone, he should be responsible as well, it takes 2 right from the start, right! Good luck with your decision Becca, I will keep you in my thoughts sweety Kiss

missscarlettmissscarlett
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
becca23254, it's up to you whether you want to be a mummy to this little one or not. It's perfectly fine if you feel you cannot not and opt for the abortion. Sometimes this part is all that's needed for the connection to be made between your spirit and the spirit of the baby.

If you do decide to continue with this pregnancy then you will need to be completely aware that your life will change to that of someone's mum and you will have to deal with the yucky side of child support custody and papers. That's a side issue though. The real concern is are you prepared to have this baby with or without the father. Only you can decide that.

There are many, many fabulous single mums out there and eventually they will find the man of their dreams... just think... Angelina Joeli.

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