Naughty daughter!!!

Having a struggle with DD at the moment,she is 3,will be 4 in July and will not do as she asked. She's not a horrible child by any means;she is very affectionate and loving and when she plays she plays nicely but she just fights us on everything we ask her to do. I've tried every approach from reasoning with her,to taking away priveleges,to completely ignoring her and punishing her. She just keeps pushing her luck and it upsets us all. Even if I tell her she'll miss out on something good she still fights against what she's being told to do so then she ruins it for herself and ends up stropping over that too.
It used to be that if she wouldn't listen to me then DH could get through to her when he got home but she dis-obeys him now too. It really upsets me after she calms down and we're having a cuddle but at the time I could throttle her. What can I do?

To be honest, theres not alot we can do, it's a phase they go through, David is going through exactly the same thing, he's 4 in August, some days he's a perfect little angel, but other days he has the devil in him...I guess the naughty step for the times they really push their luck. I understand exactly what you are going through, so I sympathise 100%, I think we gotta ride the wave out until it dies down. Let me know if you find any quick solutions. United we stand!

Rich said:
To be honest, theres not alot we can do, it's a phase they go through, David is going through exactly the same thing, he's 4 in August, some days he's a perfect little angel, but other days he has the devil in him...I guess the naughty step for the times they really push their luck. I understand exactly what you are going through, so I sympathise 100%, I think we gotta ride the wave out until it dies down. Let me know if you find any quick solutions. United we stand!

i agre i have a 4 yr old too and he can be just as bad when in august is he 4 rich dominics bday is august the 23rd
well back to the story yes i agree it is just a phase but do u want the bad news
noooooooo
it doesnt get much better they are still like it at 5 and 10 which i have too so if u do find a solution let me no lol
i have found using the count to 5 method works though tell ur child what u want them to do and tell them if they hvent done it by the time u count to five u will send them to bed so its either do it or bed and with mine i usually on have to get to three before she is off
dont no how long it will last though lol
good luck
xxx

I do counting to three and she knows this is her last chance to conform but lately she's even pushing this discipline method. I'll just give it some time

Charlotte turned 3 in February and like Rich has said, some days fine, other days the devil!!!

She is loving and caring too but she pushes us to the brink sometimes! We count to three but recently she stands and waits for us to get to three to see if we go through with sending her to bed! She's also refusing to eat anything we give her at tea time, a few nights ago she flung the plate across the room shout and stamping her feet!

Good luck hun, I'm sure she will get over it, keep really calm and don't shout at her, she will give up a little easier as she won't be getting worked up because you are.

This is the age where they like to exert their independence. One thing that works well is giving them choices (obviously making it between two choices you approve of anyway. ) For example to you want to eat supper now and then take a bath, or do you want to take a bath and then eat supper?, do you want to wear your green pants or your red pants today?, do you want to eat a scrambled egg or sandwich?, ...you get the idea. This way they feel like they have some control.

Also the more annoyed you get the more she will push.
Try positive feedback. No matter how difficult she is, find something complimentary to say to her a few times a day..you are eating so nicely, you played with your toys very nicely, you got dressed so well by yourself... Sometimes aside from trying to exert independence, they are also seeking attention and for kids positive or negative feedback is attention...so if they are not getting nice things said and attention, they will claim it by being naughty-cause attention is attention after all.

Also if you know she has certain triggers or trigger times, try to avoid or head those off. One of my kids alsways used to get impossible when he was hungry. Took me a while to realize that, but once we did , it was easy to head off his tantrums by making sure he never got hungry. Take some time to observe and write down for yourself your child's behaviour, the way you handled it, what preceded the behaviour... After a few days you may pick up the pattern and learn more about what is going on.

Good luck!