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How do you explain to a three year old to share?????

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
AAArrrggghhh Charlotte is driving me crackers!!!

George wants to play with the toys Charlotte is playing with but she's getting really possessive, she keeps snatching things back out of his hands pushing him and has even kicked him! Shocked Tounge Out

I keep trying to explain that he wants to feel and play and its called sharing when she lets him play with the toys she plays with.

We played shops this morning and I let her be the shop keeper and she was to let me put things in the basket and vice versa, she was fine with me until I brought George into play too, she started screaming as soon as he opened the little fridge on the shop and stood in front of it so he couldn't open it, then literally kicked him out of the way and told him to 'Go away George, It's mine!'

Why is it ok for me to play and not George I don't get it is this more possessiveness than not knowing how to share??? Teeth

I know he doesn't play the way she does he is just learning how things work and likes to feel and hit objects together and stick them in his mouth so I wondered if that was it?


mumof2_jomumof2_jo
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Embarassed Sorry not much help lol but I think they all go through this stage Eloise did and now JR is too drives me Cuckoo

They just fight over things all the time cant play nice cause Jr always wants what Eloise has got Suspect

jade-leighjade-leigh
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
oh its same here they always want what the other one has got Suspect Teeth nomatter what it is

sugarsugar Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
think its just a matter of time hun - lottie is like this when her 10mth old cousin wants the toys she has - thing is lottie is used to being the only one as shes the first grandchild but we just have to keep teling her she has to share - i cant see why its a problem though as lottie shared everything at nursery and she only stopped going in march!

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Lol so its not just mine then!!

Sugar, Charlotte is fine with kids her own age too she plays fine with them but I do find she seems to take the lead a bit and bosses them all around!!

sugarsugar Moderator
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
must be to do with the name Wink lol

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 3 years ago

sugar said:
must be to do with the name Wink lol


Thats a good enough excuse for me Wink

alis378alis378
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I've gotta tell you this sort of thing drives me insane!! My 3rd old has a huge job sharing with the 4 year old mindee that they have and they are always bickering. A lot of this I put down to the fact that they are mostly Joshuas toys and he sees them as his and only his. If it was an adult to play he will be fine but another child - and that is a completely different story.

In your case it is mostly sibling rivalry - Charlotte has played with her own toys by herself for a while now and now George is mobile she feels threatened by it. How about asking Charlotte which toys she is willing to share with George - it may be none to start with but a bit of coaxing and lots of praise when she does it will work wonders and you will get there eventually.

Good luck - I know its not easy.
x

bunnigirlbunnigirl
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
hi hun does she play with his toys
if yes then when she has his next u could always say something like is george sharing his toyd isnt that nice of him are u going to share yours with him
if that doesnt work i hate saying this but i had to try tough love
if one of mine didnt share but wanted the other ones toys take it of her and when she asks y it is a case of well if u cant share nicely then u cant play with his
they get used to feeling bad then and mine actually come back to me and said i didnt like that so i will share as it not nice being horrible is it and now apart from child stresses they get on fine well most of the time lol
good luck with however u chose to deal with it y not ask your hv for advise babe
xxxxx

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
Yeah she will play with his toys and completely takes them off him too. She won't be interested in them until he starts playing with them.

I don't know whether it's a control thing for her or what??? Suspect

Any way I will give all the suggestions a try. I expected them to fight just not this early on, how dumb am I LOL!!!

bunnigirlbunnigirl
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
i no i may sound harsh then hunni but u will have to get tough if she takes it off him u take it off her and give it back if she continues a minute for each year of her age without playing at all might sort it out if she keeps doing it and u keep doing that she will soon lear hey if i do this mummy does that and then i dont get to play and i want to so she might stop doing it as she nows she will come off worse and not get what she wants

sorry for alot of this and that in there lol
xxxx

hipmommahipmomma
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I had my biggest problems when Charlie was 12-18 months and josh was 3-3.5.

They react as though its an invasion, for them it is!

This little creature who before just bobbled about not doing much (and certainly not wanting toys!!!) Suddenly is big enough and mobile enough to stand up for themselves!

Even now, with josh almost 4, we do still have some problems. Although, now its charlie screaming "mine!" instead of the other way around!

If one of them wont share, then they lose the right to play with that toy, if they continues to be unpleasant and not sharing etc, they lose the right to play altogether and go into time out.

Nice simple approach, which i find (when i stick to it firmly!) works wonders. They know where they stand. And of course lots of positive priase when they do play nicely!

Very happy

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
I didn't find any of the suggestions harsh, I know you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes.

This morning Charlotte was playing and George came crawling up for a nosey and instantly got the brush off. I took the toy from her and told her that she had to share and if she didn't she wouldn't get it back. I put it down in front of them both but she got annoyed when George touched it and snatched it back off him. I tried to explain George wants too feel as he is learning but she didn't seem to understand. It all ended with a big tantrum when I made her sit it out Teeth

I'm sure she will get there in the end she seems to be so giddy and full of beans today too which I think is making her a bit mischievous.

bunnigirlbunnigirl
posted 1 decade 3 years ago
sounds like u r handling it perfect stick to that babe and like i said she will soon get used to if she does it then she will get that and it not nice she will soon learn how here brother feels
good luck babe
xxx

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