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WHAT HAVE I DONE!!

sugarsugar Moderator
posted 1 decade 4 years ago

sammie83 said:
im not gonna be on for a while now i just wanna spend time with my fiance an our 2 little girls. and also decide what im gonna do..
i cant believe i told him this, believing he would leave me. just goes to show what a good guy i have, i wanna spend as much time as i can with him

thanks guys for all your support, i feel a little better now, after speaking to ppl about it
thanks
xxxxxxxxxx Wink


np hun - hope everything goes well for u - and ur partner is being grat hes there for u and is supporting you - u need to go to the police hun and it sounds like u have a strong partner to stand by you Smile


candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Hun sounds like you're having a really tough time, when I first read the OP I thought it sounded like you had, had your drink spiked, I would advise that you did go to the police (if its not too late now) just so you would know for sure in your mind.

It sounds like your OH is dedicated to you, and don't worry about if other people are gossiping about you, they have boring lives if they do!

Good luck to you and your family hun tc xxxxxxxx Kiss

lottielottie
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Hope you ok hun xxxxx take care xxxxx thinking of you and hope things work out xxxx its not your fauilt sweetie xxx take care xxxxxxxxx if you need anyone there all here for you and sometimes it easyier to talk on here xxx A really big hug from me xx take care xx

colecole
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Hi, I'm so sorry to hear what has happened to you xx My little sisters mate was spiked a few years ago in a local pub and was acting like she had drunk way to much but she had only had 2 drinks.
I think you have definatly been spiked. Fortunatly for my sisters mate, nothing like what happened to you happened to her cause she had an allergic reaction to the drug she was spiked with and ended up in hosiptal. But the Dr's told us she would have needed to of had a blood test within 6-12 hours of being spiked to find most date rape drugs. But I would still report this to the police as with my sisters mate they used CCTV evidence to prosecute a guy who is now serving a sentance. You could also contact the places you went to that night to see what they say. I'm glad your man is supporting you and will be thinking of you. Take care xx Kiss

gemmagemma
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Just noticed your online

Hows things? Hope everything is going ok and try not to let it eat away at you. You've been as honest as you can be with your otherhalf.

Been thinking of you and hope things are ok Kiss

Gemma

sammie83sammie83
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
hey guys sorry i havent been on for a while, im ok at the moment, dont think i can cry anymore. i never got tested. i know i should of done but i diddnt. i have spoke to all the people who i went out with and they just said that i dissapeared and they coudnt find me anywhere

so now im just gonna try and carry on with my life and try and forget about it

kirstkirst
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
hi sammie,
just read wot happened, hope your ok now. u obviously have a wonderfull partner, and i bet he thinks the world of u. i hope everything is gettin easier 4 u
kirst x

LadybugLadybug
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Hi Sammie

This is the first I've read this thread.

I understand that you didn't want to go to the police. I suppose it wouldn't have changed anything, other than confirming that your drink was spiked (I don't think there's any debate about that one).

However, I do feel that any attempts to sweep such a traumatic experience under the carpet will be futile. I know someone who is in her early 60s who had a traumatic encounter in her youth, and she never got over it. She never told her husband (they later split up) and she never faced the issue head on. She says now that she thinks she needs to talk to someone about it! I think that you should definitely seek counselling of some sort. Perhaps even hypnosis might fill in the gaps??? (Ok - I watch too much TV...)

I can't stress enough to you how important it is to discuss this with an objective, professional outsider, who will give you the emotional support you so blatantly need. You don't know the impact this might have on your emotional well-being in the future. Also - you need to get yourself tested for STDs.

Aw hon - this is a really difficult time for you.
Take care of yourself.
xxx

candgsmumcandgsmum
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
I think Ladybug has given some really good advice there hun, take real good care of yourself Love x

sammie83sammie83
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
well guys, i dont thing things are going well for me an my OH, i love him more than ever an he just keeps gettin really moody with me for no reason at all...is this to be expected????

i cant help but think things are goin bad. he has never been like this before. he is snapping at me for stupid things. i dont know what to do. he snapped at me bout half hour ago for takin the toys out the bag he was gonna throw away, he said thet they were "dirty" an they wasnt..
i really dont know what to do this may not make sense to u all but i hope it does and i hope u can give me some advie

please......xxxx

BedheadBedhead
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Ohh Sammie, I'm really sorry that things are so hard for you at the minute. This is probably just part of him coming to terms with what has happened. Have you asked him why he is so grumpy? You never know it could be completely unconected, he could be having a rough time at work or something. I think that Ladybug was right before when she suggested getting some councilling but maybe he needs some support as well. I know sometimes when things like this happen that partners can feel that they are somehow to blame, like they didn't take enough care of you, so maybe this is whats getting to him. I really hope you get through this together, thinking of you, Kerry Kiss

GazelleGazelle
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Sammie,

Please get some help. I know from experience that sweeping stuff under the carpet is no good. I still think you should go to the police and report the incident. They will refer you to victim support. If you don't wanna go down that route then at least speak to your doctor or seek out counselling from another source.

This situation WILL impact on your relationship, you need advice to help both you and your partner cope, plus you may suffer flash backs etc in weeks and years to come which you need to know how to cope with.

Ladybug is right, you need to get tested for STD's, as horrible as that may sound.

Please, please, please get help.

Sending you lots of love and ((((hugs))))

xxxxxx

sammie83sammie83
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
its a bit late to go to the police now, i cant prove anythin, it will be my word against his an i dont even know who he is
my OH is just gettin moody. no matter what i do. for isntance he wanted to bath demie at 7.45 and she was fallin asleep so i told he to leave it til tomorrow, an he went all moody on me. it like for god sake she is nackered and fallin asleep....justlet her sleep.
i said to him would u like to have a bath when u are half asleep an he just walked away[/u][/b]

miarubymiaruby
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
- My blog
aww bless hun, things will be difficult at the minute, hope things get better, i ahvent got any advice for you but i do think maybe you should see someone, no just for you but for him too hun, he might feel alittle insecure,
its proberly all down to the fact that he loves you and doesnt want to lose you hun!
hope all works out, if ya need to talk just ask!
xxx

GTTkelGTTkel
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
Imagine how you might feel if the roles were reversed,I'm sure part of you would want to be supportive and understanding. But the other part of you would probably be angry and disgusted. I'm not saying he's angry with YOU but with WHAT HAPPENED. And even if he knows it WAS NOT YOUR FAULT it must still be quite upsetting for him knowing another man has been with you in that way. It was a violation of your body but also in a way a violation of your intimacy with your OH. I know my hubby would be bothered by it but wouldn't find it easy to talk about it. I think you will both need time to settle down again

CathyGCathyG
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
i have to agree with GTTkel, your partner (although being supportive & loving) must also be very distressed by this whole thing. imagine if he had been with another women (albeit drunk/drugged) how would you feel. In his mind, hes probably thinking of all sorts of things that may/maynot have happened & he'll be worrying about if you could have caught something that you could pass on to him etc. He'll also feel guilty that he was not there to protect you (the mother of his children). As hard as it is, you will need to try & speak about this to him & possibly to a consellor. i can't say i've ever been in this situation, but i can only imagine how you & your oh must be feeling. xxx

HayleyHayley
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
hi im sorry to hear this hun, its to be expected that ur oh is upset, he is probably havin thoughts of u 2 togther, and hes probably thinking maybe ur drink wasnt spiked ( im not sayin he dont belive you ) but maybe he thinks ur using that as an excuse to get out of it if u know what i mean..coz i know thats what my fella wud think !!!

also if u were drugged, that man was lying coz theres no way u cud give a bj on date rape drug, makes u all floppy and u cant move!!! (but u are aware of whats going on)

hope that doesnt sound too harsh! xxxx

lauranlauran
posted 1 decade 4 years ago
I know this thread is old but i had to ask how you are now. I feel so much for u. It def sounds like ur drink was spiked as you sound like such a honest person who loves their partner very much. How is he coping? did u get tested? I know this sounds stupid but i think i know how you feel. I hope a dream last month similar to ur situation where i got drunk and knew i slept with someone but unaware of it. Even though it was a dream it felt so real. I felt exactly how you describe feeling. In the dream i sat in the bath for ages scrubbing, trying it get traces of hime out of me. I was distaught that i had broke the most important promise i ever made, i kept looking at my wedding photos and no longer loving them,and just thought how will i ever look at my hubby again. I woke up crying with a broken heart. Sounds stupid but i creid for 3 days! I know it was a dream but if it felt that bad then doing it for real must be ten times as bad and i know more than ever that i would never ever cheat. I dont class your incident as cheating, i actually class it as rape as you had no control over what happened until u came out of the haze, while he was in control. Anyway i hope you and your partner are getting through this, beth xxxx

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