My baby's fathers mother is driving me crazy!!!

I have a problem I was hoping to get some advice about? Long story short I had a relationship with a man which resulted in my falling pregnant. He was less than supportive to say the least. He intimidated me into agreeing to an abortion and left to start a new life in Australia the next week. I knew I could never do it and when I told him he flipped out. The only times I heard from him were to tell me he wouldn't be back in the near future, ask me to put the abortion money he gave me back in his account and not to put his name on the birth cert. It doesn't take a genius to see he didn't want to be involved. However, as we live in a small town he was forced to tell his mother and I had to meet her. At first it was fine but once I had my daughter she started to smother me. She wanted to come up 4-5 times a week for hours each day, and not to help out but to wake her up when I had just gotten her to sleep and to patronize me about my parenting skills. I know it sounds like I'm over-reacting but here are just SOME of the things she does
1.Laughed when I told her what I'd named my daughter.
2.Doesn't call her by her name, just "poor thing" or "poor soul"
3.Keeps talking about daddy such as "your daddy's going to love you when he sees you"
4.And worst of all, when I told her everything he's put me through she ruthlessly defends him as if he could do no wrong. She'll say things like- well Im sure he's very sorry about all those things.
She's always trying to take my baby halfway across the country to see her family like she has no shame for her son. Don't get me wrong- I knew exactly what I was getting into when I had this baby when he didn't want to. I wish with all my heart he would just come right out and say to her that he wants no part but he wont. At least if he did that I could say good-bye to all of them and carry on with my beautiful girl. I don't think its fair that I have to put up with his mother without any moral or financial support from him. I've tried many times to talk to her but she will defend him to her death. I just need some advice please any advice at all. I don't know what to do as when she so much as holds my baby so much hostility builds up inside of me I often have to leave the room.
I also tried to ignore her which resulted in the only phone call I got from her son in a year- A drunken rant of why was i ignoring his mother and what the **** was my problem?! It scared me so much I had to hang up. Someone please help. XXXxxXX

Hi chick, sorry you are having such a rough time. I agree that it sounds like they are both bang out of order. If it was me I would try telling them that until they contribute financially they don't get any contact. Being a new mum is hard enough without some one sticking their oar in all the time. To me it seems that he passed up his right to be a dad when he told you to have an abortion and then went to Australia, and that means that his mum has no right to be a granny either. If she has a problem with that she needs to speak to her son, who sounds like a selfish bully to me. Do you have any family who could maybe intervene for you? Hope you manage to sort it soon, big hugs, Kerry

Hi..All i can say is get in touch with c.s.a and then he will have no choice then to give you money to support your child...

Good luck

Love Crazy-girl xx

yeah i wud defo start on the finnacal side of things and really dont listen too her look what kind of man shes brought into the world no it must be hard but its not ur fault its HIS let him deal with itXXgl hun u just have too start standing up to her for ur babes sake

sirena keep us up too date and do what u no is rite XXX

As if you havent had to go through enough with what that has done, you have to put up with his mother

I would defo get thougher with her you have nothing to loose, she does, id also say until you get any money then all contact stops

Let us know how it all goes GL

it must be really hard for you hunni. if you decide to tell them dont want them to have contact and you keep getting the nasty phone calls etc. I would get in touch with a solicitor and they would help you.And by the sounds of what he has done he would not have a leg to stand on and his mother couldnt do anything hunni coz grandparents rights has been scrapped now.but do what you think is best

You got stuck with the sour horrid Mother In Law with out the perks of the Husband!

You will need to sit down with her when your parents have you DD and make it clear that these things bother you.
Best of luck!

Thanks all, I'm going to try to talk to her next time she calls me. What annoys me most is she wants to act like we're all one big happy family but we're not! He hasn't even asked how she is or for a photo! He obviously wanted the abortion more than the baby- he gave me money for that after all... But then took it back. I'm going to try to stand up to her but it's hard to do in person cos' last time I tried she just stared at me making me feel guilty and said "he's a good boy really, he's just too embarassed to ring you" Well he's a 27-year old man, not a boy he's well able to speak for himself! I don't want my daughter to grow up knowing her fathers mother, his sister or his third aunt without even knowing him, It'll be confusing for her and hurtful. It really is the horrible mother in law without the perks and support of the husband! I'll keep ya's posted after she rings me next. Talk soon XxXxXXxXXx Thanks agagin

hey hun if i was you id let her know ur not happy hun before it escalates into something worse! i ended up having a full scale row with my MIL while we were living with her coz she wouldnt stop interfering adn as much as i would rather had spoke to her rather than argued i got my point across and it worked - but u need to sit and talk to her hun its not fair on you - which makes it unfair on ur baby xxxx

i am sorry hun i cant imagine what u r going through but she sounds like a well ya no and she should call her by her name which by the way what did u call her cos nothing can be that bad unless u called her apple or banana or something lol
well take care
xxx

I called her rylee which I love and middle name elizabeth which she also scoffed at

ahh thats so cute i would never have thought of anything like that for mine but its beautiful hunni ignore her
xxx

u shouldnt worry about it,i have learnt too.
my husbands family lives in bristol and we live in wales but we are always gettin phone calls with his mum shoutin at him,sayin we are stoppin them from seein kieran when we are not sayin that at all its just they need to baby proof the house,so yea we not talkin to them at the mo lol if i had my own way i would never wanna hear form them again but i dont cus they not my family so there ya go lol
xxx