I'm 17, my boyfriend is 26,ive been with him for 3 years.Im 20 weeks pregnant with his child.
He lives with me and my dad unofficially, and has done for the past nearly 3 years. I've been round to his mums the whole of 2 occasions which is fine because it is an absolute mess and i mean unliveable in. so i totally understand why he wouldnt want people there.
Now today ive just seen in the password protected bit on his pc all ginger and webcam porn which i suppose is ok coz some people do have wierd fetishes and also a picture of 2 14yr old girls with there bits out,which obviously i am not happy about but dont know wether to count this as kiddie porn???. another lovematch type website that he has joined up to i found 1 last week on his laptop which he totally denied and started slaging me off as per usual. and then finally admitted once his exscuses weren't washing, most people would have then dumped the person , but as i am not totally innocent and havent been totally faithful to him i felt that would b a "pot calling the kettle black" situation.
It wouldnt have been as bad if he didnt make me out to b a total idiot yet again by denying it when i clearly proven what had gone on.Or if wen i got found out, he hadn't made my life so much hell.
Having Attempted to make him feel the same way as he made me feel without success , coz nothing goes in to his head and if by some miracle it did he would just get into his car and drive off leaving me here crying and feeling like shhit and then reappear hours later as if nothing had happened.
anyway enough of the rambling basically i am not blameless for my actions i did cheat on him the once even though i got blamed for twice, and took the {Mod Edit} for twice it was once ,which he still doesnt believe and wen i got found out i was really really sorry and admitted what had been proved (unlike him) , said if u want to dump me i would understand and then let him treat me like {Mod Edit} for doing so
Anyway ive found like 3 of these love things now on his laptop and he is never in the house only to sleep and eat so obviously i dont know what hes up 2. i dunno wether to tell him i found another 1 2day wen he comes in just for him call me all the names under the sun and then to leave me crying here while he {Mod Edit} off out or not.it would just be an arguement and id take him bk as per usual and i really dont have a clue why i am still with him i mean hes not good looking or good in bed which doesnt really matter to me ,but would atleast give me an exscuse for being with him, for the fact that he is a total

So as i have no hope of actually dumping him and keeping him dumped plus i want my child to know its father which wouldnt b possible if i wasnt with him because id have to move to live in surrey as i couldnt get a place of my own or go on living with my dad as there simply isnt enough room. he would still c his child but it wouldnt really know him. We have to find a place here to live together as we cant live as his mums either as it would be unhealthy and unsafe for the child so the place we'd b moving to wont have internet so he wont beable to go on and neither will i, and he wont beable to b out every waking hour in his car and have me sat in waiting coz,i cant go out and b accused and have to stay in so that wen he gets bk he can come in.
because there will b a baby to look after i just dont know what to do do i wait and see if it will get better living together or not and have to move and have a fatherless child??
I do love him god knows y but i do, i just dont c anything changing
i dont really have alot of choice please help.