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Cancer and infertility, I'm confused.

posted 4 years 8 months ago
Hello girls. My story is long and complicated but I will try to make it short. My first husband and I were trying to have kids for 3 years. Unfortunately no success. Back in 2013, I was diagnosed with cancer of a uterus. Later that year we divorced. Now I have new relationships. We are together for almost a year. Recently my boyfriend and I started to talk about having children. Before we met, I was ready to accept childless life. After cancer, I have no chance to carry and give birth. But now when I'm in love and I have serious relationships I think I do want to have kids. And I know my boyfriend wants to have them. I feel like I really want to be a mother! We haven't discussed this issue in depth. But I think it's about time. I should say I am so scared! I don't know how to even start the conversation! I'm so scared that it will ruin our relationships! I honestly have no idea how we can have our own kids. I don't have a uterus. I won't be able to do that so what options do we have?? It's not like we can conceive right away. I wish we could...
TTC and cancer have ruined my marriage. I do not want to ruin another relationship. Sorry for this vent I'm just so confused...

posted 4 years 8 months ago
I'm sorry you had to go through such pain. This is really hard to be strong in your situation. Do you consider surrogacy? I had 6 miscarriages. I decided to go for this option as I can't carry a pregnancy. We've been trying for 9 years. Those years were a nightmare for us. Both DH' and mine parents were driving us nuts. They were constantly asking when we will give them grandchildren. They blamed me because each pregnancy ended up with mc. So many times I was thinking about giving up. I had no desire to keep trying. I've tried literally everything to save the pregnancies. Unfortunately nothing worked for me. So going for surrogacy became our salvation. It was our last chance and we used it. I wish you to find an option which will help you to become a mother!

posted 4 years 8 months ago
Do you consider surrogacy? I'm sorry about your situation. I know this is hard to struggle with infertility. I just wanted to tell that you're very strong! And I'm amazed by your will to live and be a mom. Even though you don't have a uterus, you have a chance of having a baby. You can go with surrogacy or try adoption. I personally picked up a surrogacy option. A surrogate mother will carry your baby. I advise you to go with a fertility clinic and not to seek sm online. A clinic will find a healthy woman and they will be monitoring her through the whole pregnancy and delivery. You'll know for sure that sm will carry a healthy pregnancy and will give birth to a healthy child. I wish you to make a decision which will be best for you. We are all here to support you. If you have a need to talk to someone just let us know. Good luck to you!

posted 4 years 7 months ago
I'm sorry you faced cancer and infertility. And I'm sorry it ruined your marriage. I can understand your worries, but you should be open with your partner. I believe he understands you cannot conceive, carry and deliver a child. So you just have to choose between sur roga cy and adoption. As far as I know, those are the only two options you can go for. No matter what you'll choose I wish you the best of luck on your way of becoming a mother!

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