Please help! I simply don’t know what to do anymore. My daughter is a beautiful well mannered 11 year old girl. She visits her Dad every other weekend and has done so since she was 18 months old. The problem is that every time she visits, for the last 5 years – her Dad’s fiancé leaves. Soon after my ex met this woman she became pregnant with their first child. My daughter met their first son quiet regularly for the first year or so. She met their second son once when he was about 6 weeks old and has never met their third 6 month old son. So for the last 4 years this woman has left with their children every time my daughter visits. Baby blues and mounting pressure was blamed after the second son arrived. No explanations have been forth coming since.
I have accepted this over time, albeit I have raised my concerns in the past. I cannot control another persons behaviour but my daughter is often very upset, especially since the arrival of the third child.
I have often questioned myself for allowing this to go on but I don’t have the heart to take away her Daddy too by not allowing her to visit their home. She sees life going on in the house but bares witness to none of it. She has noticed that her photographs have been taken down and replaced with their own family portraits. I am concerned that this rejection is abuse and that this will have long term effects on her emotionally and physically as she is due for open heart surgery in the coming months.
The only thing her Dad says is that he is working on it. I have no doubt that he loves her and that this situation is not ideal for him either yet I resent that he allows this to happen to her. I have only met his fiancé three times about 7 years ago, I have never had any dealings with her. I am a very concerned parent trying to figure out what is best for my daughter.