Join JustParents to ask for advice and make new friends! It only takes 60 seconds. Join for free

she's just driving me crazy!!!

posted 5 years 2 months ago
Hi ladies! How’re you? I really need you to help me understand what I feel. I hope you can relate! Bc I feel so weird and I don’t know if it’s ok. TTC is driving me crazy! So I have a coworker, whom I do not get along with by mutual agreement. She’s just announced she is pregnant for a second time on her first month trying. She knows everything I have been going through and still found it necessary to make her way into my office to show me her ultrasound picture. Am I over reacting? She started trying for her first when we did!!! And she is already on her second!!! And here I am who, despite a load of money and treatments, still can't get our first. I hate this so much!!! I really want to say a lot of mean and awful things, but I think I will stop now as I know it’s wrong and I should be grateful that I at least have a chance to have treatments and TTC. I understand the only thing I should worry and think about is my family and my trying. I believe everyone should mind their business and who am I to judge or jealous if someone conceive that easily. But it seems that woman does that on purpose! She never loses her chance to poke her pregnancies and her children in my face. I know it’s impossible to escape such things as it seems everyone around is preg and having kids, it’s inevitable, it’s life… But it’s so unfair… Am I any worse than all the rest? Yes I have reached the crazy point. Thanks for listening.

posted 5 years 2 months ago
Vent away, I agree. I am sure that she is genuinely thrilled with her pregnancy. And you can't expect her not to glow. However, why would she feel the need to say that she became pregnant on her first month trying?? I've heard other women say that and I never quite understood. Does that mean they’re better than us?? Does that mean we’re not as good as people who "aren't trying" but become pregnant anyway?? She just needs to get over herself. It certainly seemed unnecessary of her to show you the ultrasound pics... Especially since she knows what you've been going through!! I would probably feel the exact same way as you!! People can be so inconsiderate sometimes.

posted 5 years 2 months ago
Yeah it is hard enough to hear they are pg but that they got pg so quickly is like putting salt in the wound. I'm really sorry you are having such a frustrating day. No, you are not over reacting. Just keep thinking of the day that you can barge into her office and show her the pics of your baby! Just kidding, you shouldn’t care about what she thinks at all BUT it can be one of the points in your list to stay positive and motivated on your way of becoming a mother. As hard as it is be the bigger and BETTER person and just congratulate her. Do not let her know it even bothers you a little bit. Sometimes that gets these idiot people to stop doing stupid &hit. Your day will come, and you’ll be a happy mother.

posted 5 years 2 months ago
That's awful. I don't get how some people think and how inconsiderate and mean they can be. It's one thing if she didn't know but knowing and then on top of that showing the u/s pic… I'm so sorry that you have to deal w/people like that. You have every right to be angry and disappointed. I definitely have days like this. For example one of my friends has 17 month old twins. I'm very happy for her. And I suspect that she also had some help getting pg. But she is trying to convince me that just one month they decided to have a child and boom it happened. And also she naturally produces multiple eggs. She knows that we've been TTC for a long time. I'm not sharing any details with her, because I'll be judged, even though she probably went through the same thing. I don't feel as close to her anymore, especially when all she does is talk about her kids, her niece and even her neighbors’ kids. To me that's just a bunch of useless information that brings me down. Eventually I decided that she’s toxic for me at this period of my life. So I minimized our communication.

posted 5 years 2 months ago
She was all about the "first month trying" the first time around. And it is not like we are even close enough for u/s pics. WE DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER!! My other coworker heard her come in my office and got so pissed she said she was going to go say something to her. She is good and kind woman. But I said it is not even worth it. And to really add the salt to the wound she decided to sit with me at lunch that same day along with my boss and talk all about her one year old, her morning sickness, etc... I almost burst into tears. I did congratulate her. But why can't that be good enough for her. Thanks for understanding.

posted 5 years 2 months ago
I really understand what you’re going through and I feel your pain. My sister has had 2 kids since we've been trying. She just told me she's having another one. I look at people who are not good parents and don’t deserve to even have kids and I get upset. My friend who is the worst parent of all asked me if I want to be in the delivery room w/ her after I just found out that we have to go through fertility treatments to get pregnant. It's not fair and I bet we all feel the same way! As for your coworker, as hard as it may be just try to ignore her and just give a fake smile. Some people just derive satisfaction from making others unhappy. But you did the right thing by congratulating her. You are the bigger person. Don’t let her win by stooping to her level.

posted 5 years 2 months ago
You congratulated her... That makes you the bigger person here. It really does. It's so hard to say why she would do this to you and flaunt those u/s pics in your face. I've found that people like her are either: just too damn stupid to realize the pain they're causing or the type of person who likes the attention (good or bad), or is just pure evil incarnate! Being that she knows you've been trying for a while and still proceeded to rub it in your face that SHE was able to get pregnant not once, but TWICE all in the very first month of trying... I'm going to guess that she falls into the third category listed above. It's one thing to glow naturally and be happy for yourself that you're "great with child", but to do what she did is completely uncalled for. I can see why you two do not get along. Luckily, you ARE the better person in this situation. Like a lot of the other ladies said, don't even give her the satisfaction of knowing that this bothered you. You WILL get pregnant and from the sounds of it, you WILL make a better mother than this woman (persons’ values get passed down to their children). Good luck to you!

posted 5 years 1 month ago
Hey! LeslieP just like your dilemma' I have a friend experiencing the same problem as yours.
She tried searching for like a bunch of possible solutions, and luckily she found out that there's a simple way that can be helpful and this is probiotics. Probiotics can help reduce Inflammation, which improves fertility. One good brand of this probiotics is qiara. Probiotics can also boost your partner's sperm count.

posted 4 years 8 months ago
You're definitely not over-reacting! Your coworker is heartless. Women should support each other but not make other women feel bad. Those who haven't problems conceiving think they are better than us. Unfortunately, I've been facing such rude and ignorant people my whole life. My first husband and I were ttcing for 3 years. I've been getting a bunch of rude comments and advice on how/when/where we should have sex all the time. I've been constantly asked what am I waiting for and why don't I want to give a baby to my husband. Then I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Now I'm 35 and infertile. My life had completely changed. I live and work in another place. I have new relationships. But something never changes - people still asking and give advice. This is much harder to take their comments as nobody knows I had cancer and about my infertility. The only thing we can do is just to keep going, be strong and believe we'll be mothers one day!

Join JustParents for free to reply


Questions needing your answer

Latest Reviews