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I'm emotionally drained

posted 5 years 5 days ago
After 3rd failed ivf I'm trying really hard to keep it together not just for myself but for my wonderful husband. He is my support and reliance. Both our mothers keep pushing adoption and it drives me nuts! We haven't discussed adoption at all. We're not giving up on ivf yet. We are thinking to go for donor eggs. Though this issue is still discussing and we have some doubts, but… This is our family and only my husband and I should decide how to have a baby. Our mothers are driving me crazy. Each family dinner ends up with me crying, because both our parents “explain” in a pushy way how amazing adoption is. Well don’t get me wrong, I think adoption is a good thing. And maybe later we’ll discuss it and adopt a baby. But now we put all our strength and hope into ivf. This is so emotionally hard. This is hard physically as well. We had 3 failed ivfs!!! And now we are considering donor eggs which is also not an easy thing for us to except and start the whole thing all over again. And here are our parents who make the situation so much worse! Why can’t they simply support our decision? I'm emotionally drained.

posted 5 years 4 days ago
I really understand how you feel, My cousin had the same issue as you for about 3 years, she have tried all sorts of treatment, traditional herbs and all sorts of stuff, she really was desperate, by talking to her I understood her feeling, she was back then a 25 and her husband is about 13 years older, she had a lot of pressure laying on her shoulders, she kept thinking about her husband getting older her getting older and stressing her self out, at a certain point she started loosing weight and hair, she just pushed her self to the limit; but finally she just accepted the situation, and tried to be happy any way, surprisingly and when least expected, she got pregnant without any medical intervention, and had the most beautiful baby I've seen, she named her Paradise.
what you is the stress you put on your self can be the thing holding back the pregnancy, cause it's more that just a biological/physical process it more significantly mental and psychological, so just take a step back and give your body and soul a break you really deserve it.

posted 5 years 3 days ago
So sorry to hear the news. Don't give up though. As I'm sure you have read on here there are many success stories after several attempts. It's never too late....There is a plan... We just don't always understand it! I think de is a good option. I understand your desire to have a child yourself before considering adoption. You should inform your parents that adoption is also devastating. It’s not that easy as it seems, unfortunately. My friends wanted to adopt a little baby girl and the adoption was revoked because her family changed their minds. It too can be a hard and emotional process. I am not saying this to get you down, don’t get me wrong! I’m telling this just to keep you(and your parents) aware of the risks. Keep your head up and follow your dreams. Hopefully next cycle we will both have BFP! Stay positive and be thankful for a wonderful supportive husband!

posted 5 years 3 days ago
I am so sorry to hear about your bfn. I know I can't say anything that will make you feel better, but I wish I could. I can definitely empathize with you. I went through a failed IVF recently and felt completely devastated. Please know that you are not alone on this journey. It never ceases to amaze me how many wonderful women go through this, while other women who do not seem ready to have children, have no trouble at all. There must be some master plan somewhere… For me there is no other explanation. I suppose we just need to have faith. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you to have strength and patience.

posted 5 years 3 days ago
I'm so sorry to hear your news. I have a friend who just got a bfn on her first IVF. She is devastated as well. She won't be trying again simply because of the cost. I hope whatever you choose to do, you will soon have a child of your own.

Adoption can be wonderful, but for those of us who have had a failed adoption, it is just like losing your child to death and can be very hard to overcome. Four years ago I had a little girl that I THOUGHT would be mine forever. I had her from 4 months of age to 5 1/2 months (had her for 6 weeks), and the mother changed her mind. Losing her was the worst experience of my life. And now TTC is the 2nd worst. What some of us have to go through to have what others seem to get so effortlessly. It just seems so unfair sometimes.
Keep your head up. There are still options (yes, including adoption, but it isn't your only option). I know how you feel. Every single bfn feels like a piece of your heart is being ripped out. Just remember, your day will come. Keep believing that and you will get through this latest heartache. Take care.

posted 5 years 3 days ago
Thanks so much you guys! I needed a boost. It's so hard, financially too as we all know. Now my DH and I are constantly discussing donor eggs ivf. We are looking into all pros and cons, reviews, prices, clinics, doctors… It's so darn expensive! So we have to invent some money somehow. I should say it’s not easy. I’m thinking about it 24/7, can’t eat and sleep… So nervous and at the same time excited. I hope this try will be a success. Speaking about adoption, I feel for you. And I’m so sorry such a horrible thing happened. But thank you for the advice and well wishes to you too. Sticky baby dust to all xx

posted 4 years 11 months ago
Hi Amber!
It is insane. Are you doing better now?
I mean... there is no need to push your agenda on a woman who goes through ivf. no matter what your agenda is. it is still hard enough to even cause some mental health problems. it is a constant pressure. and the only thing we want it to be supported.
I totes understand you. I am about to start my 3rd ivf round. And then we are also thinking about moving on with either donor's eggs or other tx.

posted 4 years 5 months ago
First of all, I want to say that I'm so sorry about your failed ivf cycles. I've also faced infertility. And I know what you mean by saying that "This is so emotionally hard. This is hard physically as well." I've been trying for 3 years and nothing. Then I was diagnosed with cancer. The disease made me infertile. There is no chance left for me not only to conceive naturally but also to carry my own child. I hate it when people give their unwanted advice and behave like they know it better how we should have children. I understand these are your parents. And of course, you don't want to be rude to them. But you should tell them how you feel about them insisting on adoption. Moreover, you should tell them adoption is not that easy! It doesn't mean you just come to an orphanage, take any child you like and go home. This is a very long and hard process. And if you think you're not ready for it now, it's better not even to start. Anyway, I hope whatever option you'll choose, it'll work for you!

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