fertility treatments after mc?

I hope to hear your opinion. I am almost 46 and few months ago became pregnant without fertility treatments after a few months of trying to conceive. We married late in life. Neither of us has children or has tried to conceive before. My initial HCG levels were strong. We saw a heartbeat at the 6-week ultrasound. My progesterone, however, went from 21 to 24 to 17 to 15 despite progesterone suppositories. At the 9 1/2 week ultrasound, the heartbeat was no longer there. I had a D&C. Prior to my getting pregnant naturally, the RE said my only real option was donor eggs. At the time of the missed miscarriage, he said he would be willing to try fertility treatments once I had had 2 normal cycles. The RE said he would NOT do IVF on a woman my age using my own eggs. I guess we are talking about drugs/IUI. But I’m not sure. We’ll see him next week to find out. Friends are telling me that IUI does not work as well as IVF. So I’m not sure why the RE would think non-IVF routes would have a better chance of success. It’s just seems to me it’s too early to think about donor eggs… I think we still have treatments to try. My husband and I don’t have lots of money… Using donor eggs is pretty expensive in US. So donor eggs aren't really an option for us financially this year. I know we can(and we probably will if there’s a need) go abroad for de ivf. Only this way we’ll be able to afford it. Still insurance does not cover de ivf. We’ll have to find money somewhere. I don’t want to think about it now. I have full insurance coverage on other fertility treatments. That's a major factor in trying the fertility treatments right now. Could drugs/IUI actually work on a woman my age given my recent pregnancy? I’ll appreciate your responses.

It is highly unlikely that either IVF or IUI will work at age 46. Regarding IVF, I am aware of three studies looking at IVF in women of advanced reproductive age. One, from Cornell, showed a 3.1% live born rate in 45 year olds with IVF, and 3/4 of all positive beta-HCGs end in miscarriage. There were no pregnancies beyond age 45. Two other studies, one from the UK and one from Israel, showed even more discouraging results - 0% pregnancy rates in women aged 44 and older. Even if you are fortunate enough to get pregnant at age 46, 75%-80% of the time the pregnancy ends in miscarriage. It is likely that, even though you saw a heartbeat with your miscarriage, that the pregnancy was genetically abnormal - probably a trisomy. Thus, I would not recommend IVF. IUI is, I believe, equally futile - just cheaper. Sorry to be so pessimistic. I would not recommend IVF with your own eggs or IUI. By far your best bets for a family are adoption or donor egg. I hope I didn’t upset you. I hope you’ll find the best decision which will suit your family. You’re absolutely right about going abroad for donor eggs IVF. Prices for this procedure in Europe are much lower. Nowadays many couples who struggle with infertility go there. European clinics have high success rates even though services are cheaper.

Hello tarraB5
I am not sure why your Re prefers IUI to IVF but one clear thing is that at 46, you have run out of time. So even IVF on your own egg could not be an option. Let me look at IUI in details. Perhaps it could help us to figure out why your RE is choosing it. This treatment entails placing the sperm inside a woman’s uterus so as to increase the number of sperms that are reaching the fallopian tubes. It gives the sperm the advantage and the head start it requires to fertilize the egg. It is a less invasive and less expensive compared to the IVF. This method is preferred when a man has low sperm count or where the sperm mobility is decreased. It is also an option when the cervical condition is not friendly to the sperm. In a case where a woman has a cervical scar that hinders the ability of the sperm to penetrate the uterus, it gives the best results. Also, doctors recommend this method in case of ejaculation dysfunction. So with this information, I am unable to understand why your RE is recommending it. As far as I am concerned, you should instead go for IVF on donated egg because the quality of your eggs is going down. So even if an egg is retrieved and fertilized in the lab and implanted, it may not last. Studies show that most women in this age bracket who try IVF on their own eggs end up miscarrying.

good luck

I want to cry. I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm so sorry you are feeling so much pain. I had my first ivf in September but had m/c on Mon. My numbers didn't go up high, slowly rose. Then I just had a natural m/c. We're planning to have 2nd ivf in a couple of months. Don't give up. I know it's really hard to pretend its ok. My doctor told me the other day that it's ok to be disappointed but do not be discouraged. I think the same can be applied to your situation. Please stay strong for DH and yourself. You are in my prayers.

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I'm very sorry for your loss. I had 4 IVF cycles, the last 2 ended up with m/c. I didn't care that it was 'common' as to me it was my whole life collapsing. I got really angry at one friend when she told me at least I knew I could get pregnant. I know she was at a loss to what to say and didn't mean to upset me. Friends ask me about adoption when they first find out I've had more than one miscarriage. This does make me angry. Whilst adoption is a great thing and I admire the people who do it, I still want to carry and give birth to 'my child'. Until I'm told I can't, I will still try. Someone telling me to have someone else's child doesn't make me feel any better. I really don't want to hear things like 'you can try again'. I feel like this is dismissing the miscarriage. I already know I can try again. But now I'm grieving my child. I have also been told 'at least it's happened early'. Yes, physically this isn't as bad as a late miscarriage, but that doesn't mean it's ok. It was my baby.

cheybloom said:
I'm very sorry for your loss. I had 4 IVF cycles, the last 2 ended up with m/c. I didn't care that it was 'common' as to me it was my whole life collapsing. I got really angry at one friend when she told me at least I knew I could get pregnant. I know she was at a loss to what to say and didn't mean to upset me. Friends ask me about adoption when they first find out I've had more than one miscarriage. This does make me angry. Whilst adoption is a great thing and I admire the people who do it, I still want to carry and give birth to 'my child'. Until I'm told I can't, I will still try. Someone telling me to have someone else's child doesn't make me feel any better. I really don't want to hear things like 'you can try again'. I feel like this is dismissing the miscarriage. I already know I can try again. But now I'm grieving my child. I have also been told 'at least it's happened early'. Yes, physically this isn't as bad as a late miscarriage, but that doesn't mean it's ok. It was my baby.

I'm sorry about your mc. I can't even imagine how hard it is for you! This is awful you had to hear all those disgusting comments... I've been through 3 failed IVF cycles. I'm really lucky I had no mc. But a failed cycle is a sad thing to go through... And some people were so ignorant and so insensitive. Hang in there!

Megan1 said:
Hi tarraB5! How's your TTC is going? I hope you're doing great. You said "Using donor eggs is pretty expensive in the US. So donor eggs aren't really an option for us financially this year." I just wanted to say that going abroad is a good idea. I had 3 failed IVF cycles before decided to go with donor eggs. Going abroad was a pretty obvious decision bc of costs. We were choosing between Latvia, Ukraine and Poland. We decided to opt for a Ukrainian clinic. The price for all services and the procedure itself was 5500 USD.

Hello Meg! No success so far... But I'm not giving up. My congratulations on your pregnancy! And thanks a lot for sharing details. I do want to try with donor eggs... But as I've mentioned in another thread, my DH doesn't want to. He does not believe in "forcing' the issue. He also doesn't understand why we have to spent thousands of dollars with no guarantee that the end result will be a baby. He tells me that he would rather spend the $ adopting. Bc at least then, there's a baby in the end. While I do understand, I simply want to try to carry and give birth to my child. Is that selfish of me? I'm not saying I'm against adoption. I just want to try all other avenues to have my child first. Well, I'll use your advice from @elliza thread. I hope to start a de cycle or adoption process at the beginning of 2020.


p.s. I sent you a PM. I hope we could talk about your de IVF cycle more. Sending you hugs xx