Join JustParents for free to ask for advice and make new friends! It only takes 60 seconds. Join JustParents

Can't get pregnant after loss

HilaryHilary
posted 4 months 2 weeks ago
Hello, girls. My life has changed three years ago when I lost my only child. I was 6 months pregnant when we decided to go to the seaside. My doctor said that we can go and it is even good for my health. I was afraid but we did it. Everything was fine for the first 5 days. But on the 6th day I felt that something was wrong. I felt some pain in the stomach but there was no doctor in the hotel so I was hoping that I would be ok in a while. At night I felt really bad. We called an emergency and they brought me to the hospital. There I found out that my baby has gone. I don’t know what happened but we lost our son. I was depressed for a long time. I was visiting a psychologist and I thought I was over this situation. But I am still thinking of our baby boy. We wanted to become parents so much. Why did it happen to us?

We started TTC two years ago but we still have no results. My doctor says that we still have a chance to get pregnant. I guess it can be a psychological problem. I am 35 now and I think I should start thinking of other options. I see that my husband is getting tired because of this situation. We don’t actually want to adopt, but we will do it as the last option. I mean if we will not find the way to get our biological baby. I’ve heard a lot about surrogacy. So, I’m asking if here is someone who has tried it. I’m not sure what to start from. I don’t know if I am ready to let an outside woman give birth to my baby. Is it that hard? I need your help, please. I am frustrated.


StacyStacy
posted 4 months 2 weeks ago
Hello, Hilary. I’m so sorry about your loss. I recommend you to stop thinking of your previous pregnancy. Your bad thoughts don’t let you get pregnant again. You are living in the past. You should concentrate on your husband and your future baby. Being 35 you still have a chance to conceive and give birth in a natural way. Modern medicine is developing so fast. Consult several doctors and I’m sure they will find an appropriate treatment for you. But, please, visit two or more doctors. It is very important.
I wasn’t able to give birth that’s why we have one adopted kid. He is 8 yrs old now and we love him like he is our own child. We adopted him 6 years ago. By the way, it was my husband’s idea. He said that he has always dreamed to adopt a child, which was left by his parents. We live happily together but we are thinking of one more baby. I made a research regarding surrogacy that’s why we will start looking for a surrogate next month when my husband is back home. I’m not afraid that an outside woman will give birth to our baby. I think it is absolutely normal taking into an account the fact that I’m unable to give birth. My husband supports this idea. I’ve heard there are a lot of reproduction centers, which offer lower prices, but they are located abroad. My husband said that we are ready to go to any country to get our baby. We want our son to become an elder brother.
Whatever you decide I am sure you will get what you want. I believe that every loving couple is worth of having a child. And in your situation I’m sure you will have twins! When a woman is loosing her baby, she gets twice more! So, you will get two kids! You’ll see. I wish you good luck, dear.

nooranoora
posted 4 months 4 days ago
Hello hun! I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. I know how it feels. I had 3 miscarriages. I still can't recover from unbearable pain inside. I was very scared to get pregnant again. I had a very deep depression and problems with mental health. My DH and I decided to turn to surrogacy. Actually that was not only our decision but also doctors advise and my health' indicators. Someone may say we "gave up" too fast. But we decided it will be better for me, for us and for our family. I wish you all the best with your TTC process!

GeorginaSpGeorginaSp
posted 3 months 3 weeks ago
Hello, dear. I'm sorry you can't get pregnant. I think you might be right. It is a psychological problem. You are not over your loss. You are still thinking of your first pregnancy. You have to forget it and start a new life. I'm sure your baby is waiting for you. As soon as you calm down, you will get a chance to get pregnant. It always happens in similar situations. You have to be as positive as possible.
To make sure that you are fine you can go to a fertility specialist. You will go through different tests to find out if you have chances to get pregnant. If you find out that you are still fertile, you will calm down. So, dear, don't be afraid. Everything is gonna be fine.

hupparreppamhupparreppam
posted 3 months 2 weeks ago
Hello Hillary. I am so sorry for your loss. Seeing as how it is impacting your life, I think you should let it go. I know that is easier said than done, but you have to try. It is your only shot at normalcy. I hope you manage to figure something out. Good luck!

Join JustParents for free to reply

Search forums

Latest Reviews