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Can't get pregnant after loss

posted 6 years 6 months ago
Hello, girls. My life has changed three years ago when I lost my only child. I was 6 months pregnant when we decided to go to the seaside. My doctor said that we can go and it is even good for my health. I was afraid but we did it. Everything was fine for the first 5 days. But on the 6th day I felt that something was wrong. I felt some pain in the stomach but there was no doctor in the hotel so I was hoping that I would be ok in a while. At night I felt really bad. We called an emergency and they brought me to the hospital. There I found out that my baby has gone. I don’t know what happened but we lost our son. I was depressed for a long time. I was visiting a psychologist and I thought I was over this situation. But I am still thinking of our baby boy. We wanted to become parents so much. Why did it happen to us?

We started TTC two years ago but we still have no results. My doctor says that we still have a chance to get pregnant. I guess it can be a psychological problem. I am 35 now and I think I should start thinking of other options. I see that my husband is getting tired because of this situation. We don’t actually want to adopt, but we will do it as the last option. I mean if we will not find the way to get our biological baby. I’ve heard a lot about surrogacy. So, I’m asking if here is someone who has tried it. I’m not sure what to start from. I don’t know if I am ready to let an outside woman give birth to my baby. Is it that hard? I need your help, please. I am frustrated.

posted 6 years 6 months ago
Hello hun! I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. I know how it feels. I had 3 miscarriages. I still can't recover from unbearable pain inside. I was very scared to get pregnant again. I had a very deep depression and problems with mental health. My DH and I decided to turn to surrogacy. Actually that was not only our decision but also doctors advise and my health' indicators. Someone may say we "gave up" too fast. But we decided it will be better for me, for us and for our family. I wish you all the best with your TTC process!

posted 6 years 5 months ago
Hello, dear. I'm sorry you can't get pregnant. I think you might be right. It is a psychological problem. You are not over your loss. You are still thinking of your first pregnancy. You have to forget it and start a new life. I'm sure your baby is waiting for you. As soon as you calm down, you will get a chance to get pregnant. It always happens in similar situations. You have to be as positive as possible.
To make sure that you are fine you can go to a fertility specialist. You will go through different tests to find out if you have chances to get pregnant. If you find out that you are still fertile, you will calm down. So, dear, don't be afraid. Everything is gonna be fine.

posted 6 years 1 month ago
Hello dear! I'm so sorry for your situation. I'm in the same boat and I know how hard it is for you. I recognized myself in your post. My life is the same. I had 6 miscarriages. I lost 6 children… I hate myself for this. I don’t understand why me? What have I done to suffer like this? All of my friends have families. They have kids, they have everything! And here I am who can’t even carry my own child. Of course I’m happy for them! Sometimes they ask me to stay with their kids, when they have work or some other staff. I love to play with them, read fairytales and buy toys for them. I feel so happy at that moment! I imagine how it would be if my children were alive, with us… We were advised to use surrogacy. Now I'm collecting information about it. We hope to start our journey soon. Both my and his parents are against this idea. It would be much easier if they supported us. Well at least we have each other and we are onboard together. Dear, I hope you'll find option which will suit both of us and make you happy parents! Good luck!

posted 5 years 5 months ago
Thank you so much for your comforting words. I cannot imagine myself going through this. And I am so sorry for your losses too. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I wish there’s no more woman who would loss a baby. It is so painful emotionally & physically. I know there is no word that we can offer you for comfort. But knowing that you are not alone... You're in my prayers & in my thoughts. I can see that you are strong women to go through with this. Take care of yourself. I just wish that my sisters were here with me but they are so far from where I am. I don’t have any relative that I can talk to. So I keep reading your comments here and find it so helpful. Thank you so much.

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