Join JustParents to ask for advice and make new friends! It only takes 60 seconds. Join for free

Adult Habits in Children's Presence

posted 8 years 4 months ago
Do we adults consider some of our adult habits harmful to our children? Habits like smoking and drinking and the use of foul language in the presence of our children could play out as harmful in future.

Any one guilty of these habits?

posted 8 years 4 months ago
Yes I am guilty of my only real bad habit which is saying bad words at times when something goes downwards. I feel bad that all of my kids know how to say shit and say it when they drop something or knock something over. I know it's really bad to find it somewhat amusing though. I do not tolerate smoking or drinking around them. I have daughters so I am more strict in this area. I do not want them thinking its a norm thing to get into etc or seeing how the adults act etc.

So I can say my biggest guilt trip with my kids would be saying shit a lot to the point they have mastered it down. I don't know if it will affect them or not in the future. I wouldn't think it would though. Drinking and smoking might play a negative roll in a child's life for sure. Second hand smoke is bad enough and drinking to a certain point where the kids might see an adult act irrational etc

posted 8 years 4 months ago
I swear in front of my children and I know that I should not do that but I do. They know better than to repeat them so I am good on that part. They will learn these words from others anyway so I do not think it has a negative impact on them. Smoking and drinking would have a bigger impact upon them in my opinion. I do not smoke and I hardly ever drink so they do not see that part of my life. They know that smoking is bad for them anyway and like to tell people they know that smoke just how bad it is.

posted 8 years 4 months ago
I don't smoke or drink, apart from the occasional social drink so I'm not too concerned about that side of things. But my little one is only a year old and I already see her mimicking things that I do - cleaning or talking on the phone for instance - so I 100% believe that kids are impacted by habits their parents have!

posted 8 years 4 months ago
I definitely think that everything a child sees and hears has an effect on the child. We do not listen to the radio anymore in the car because we don't want sexual song lyrics in our children's minds. We listen to children's audio books instead. We are very careful with what we watch as well. We drink occasionally in front of our children but not very much. My husband does smoke outside. The kids do know that it's a bad choice. He has tried to quit several times and I do worry that it might cause them to consider smoking later on.

posted 8 years 4 months ago
My kids knew I smoked and I didn't hide it from them.. I needed them to know my shame (though I didn't smoke around them), it held me accountable and they saw my struggle with it. It made them very aware of addiction and they will likely never smoke now because of it. I quit 4 years ago next week and we celebrate the day like a birthday; they're very proud of me Smile

My other habit is swearing, but I raised them not to put power in words unless explaining themselves or a cause. When it's important, your choice of words is everything. But in every day conversation, words are words and putting power in them can cause a lot of unnecessary drama. Plus, i'd be a hypocrite if I did something I told them not to. I taught them to seek the intent behind the words; not to get offended by the words themselves. With that in mind, they know swearing isn't a big deal to me as long as it isn't used all rebelliously, which they don't feel the need to because I didn't make a big deal of shaming them for it or telling them they couldn't do it. They watch who they say certain things around (children and adults mainly) and to watch the words they use when they're angry. I think they've honed the art lol.. they don't overuse swear words, in fact I very rarely hear it from them.. but they use them quite wisely when they do Wink
(they're teens now, BTW)

Join JustParents for free to reply


Questions needing your answer

Latest Reviews