People wont change for the better.

Nothing has changed. 5 years ago..........

it is times like this when im left wondering if ever i am/was prepared to be in this stage of life. for the past five days, i havent been the same i used to know. im full of hate, anxiety,doubts, frustrations,stress and all other words that express my feelings. am at the downest point of my life. to begin with, the whole world has been counting these five days for another reason,the westgate terror attack, in which unknown number of people perished and hundrends injured and many left with trauma to deal with. but for all that, none has been deeper than the pain and anxiety i have experienced. see, on day one we had a disagreement me and husband and he walked out on me, having poured foodstuff in the toilet and leaving the gas running and waiting for me and my children death. i couldnt believe it and i had to make a report to police. his family seems to be in line with his behaviour and no one points his mistakes but i am the bad wife. i have never felt used in my lifetime than this. i thought this separation...
fast-forward, and with 4 children now, i feel terrible, i should have left when i had just two, when i noted the above episodes. Do people change, maybe for the worst.

it now 3 weeks since we separated, and i feel great and fulfilled. it was long overdue. am ok, i will raise the kids, i wanted 4 of them, but i refuse to carry on with a hurting relationship in the name of a marriage. i pray ,i dont get tempted to reconcile, coz im fully done. i have no feelings, not love not hate, am just blissful that it happened.

now give me ideas on how to stay single with children...