Ways to stay composed and let your child behave nicely this year!
There are times when you look back at your yesteryear and think that how the past year was with your child. You even feel annoyed sometimes about your child’s behavior and yes it is a cause of your worries. Also, the way you react to the situation is the main point of course. It also matters that you shouldn't think about neglecting these things, rather try to understand that one positive step will lead your kids and your family in a better way. The first thing you should do is to stop thinking about those negative things and start thinking about every positive step that you can imply in your daily life and how you can change things in your own way.
“It’s you who can decide what is good for your child and how will you feel and change it accordingly. It’s your decision and your choice that matters.”
How about a dance with Your Child?
Do you ever think about the hopes that you had the last year? Of course, you might have wished not to fight this year with your kids and making them more responsible towards their goals and keep them inspiring throughout. Maybe you have expected that your insolent kid might turn out to be an obedient one or you have expected your partner to understand you a bit more. Like everyone else, you too might have wished for these things to get a little off from being disorganized and fall in their own places. And if you can look back to your past year with inquisitiveness in your mind and observe certain things, then you can work them out together rather than just grieving and regretting them all.
Sometimes, it is really important for you to understand that every connection you have owns some fundamentals of dance along with it. You better know that there are a lot of dance moves that you can try. However, you can also create your own elements by just observing the way you interconnect with your kids and other family members of yours. While inventing or thinking about your own moves, go through this set of questions:
1. What is your take on your dancing moves with your kid and if you both clash on the same thing again and again?
2. What are the steps you think you need to change? Do you get jammed in a ruling fight and then all you do is to shout at your kids or sometimes you just lose it?
Now, if you think there are some moves that you can’t distort, you can start altering those entire negative outlines with your kid.
Time to learn this: You are not in control of the way your child behaves, thinks and feels. Rather you are under your own control:
When parents start thinking that they are responsible for the way their children are behaving, thinking or feeling and the results of this in their life, People think a lot and invest a lot of time in them. They consider that their children are their mirror image. And this is the time when parents start feeling this way, they tend to develop hard expectations and anxiety that they have to contour their kids according to them and how they exactly must be. There is no way out until they do that. They feel pressure on them. And this pressure leads them to reactions and they clearly endeavor to outline them up. And generally, they do it without a piece of patience to which the kids react in an odd manner. For instance, they’d just disobey them or even rebel. This surely disappoints and creates a furious tension in the family. And why does this even happen? The answer is obvious. This is because of the emotional reaction. And this response doesn’t solve problems, takes out some declarations or directs something.
Now suppose your past year was a bad one with your kids, it was simply because you and your kids did not understand each other. And your anxiety level might have been increased due to the hard circumstance. Sometimes, a constant uneasiness that comes with stresses like sudden demise, change in job, aging, or sickness increase chances for more reactions in the family. But the thing that you may need to know is that you have no control over circumstances that occur around you, but all you can control is yourself and the way how you respond to the situation of anxiety and complicatedness in your life.
It’s time to end retorting and start responding:
Ever thought that why you need to be little thoughtful rather than exaggerating things to your kid? Instead of reacting in a furious manner, you can respond them in a deliberate, calm and a considerate manner. And the moment you realize that you have a proper control over your emotions, you can do it without hesitation. There is a thin line between the way you act and the way you react and then there is the space for you to decide how you should retort, sense and counter to the situation. You are never governed by anybody else’s actions. So if your younger kid is not eating his food and is running all around in the house don’t start running around with him and skip your own meal. Rather stay calm and think about your response which must be effective.
Possibly you’d decide to just sleep calmly while your child screams, runs around and doesn’t obey you. Or you can allure him with a choice that if he eats his supper, you’ll cook him his favorite pancakes or you can simply promise to take him for ice creams. And if your teenage daughter is shutting the doors open and crying out, then you are not supposed to do the same with her. Rather you just ask her what’s distressing her. Or even pass up her when until the time she has done crying. Once you stay calm and try to give an effective response other than a fuming reply, you now have a control over your relationship and your own self. And when you have self-control, you don’t need to control your child or anybody else. First, you have to manage yourself instead of your child. You have to make him learn about his emotional space and get him in charge. After this, he will be quite matured enough to solve his own problems and spare some time to think about himself.
You just need to speak these 5 things and you’ll have a great year with your kids:
Below given are five important things that you should say to yourself in order to stay happy and calm with your children and also it will help you to have a peaceful and a calmer year with your kids:
- My child isn't a parent to me and I am not a kid to my child. He is totally allowed to behave in his way and I am expected the same to behave.
- By the time my sentiments gets activated, I am allowed to use my own parenting principles to guide myself. I am accountable for whatever I do. I cannot lose them because of my Children.
- I am fully liable for the way this year goes.
- Nobody with his own behavior and thoughts can control me. I am totally in charge of what I speak and what I think. Nobody can control anyone and make them behave and work according to me so it could lead me to a triumphant parent. And if it happens, then certainly my children will rebel against me. Instead, I should really try to shape up myself.
- It will be better if I’ll appreciate my children for being who they are and start not to worry much about them. It will result in their appreciating themselves and they’ll feel a bit less worried about how they react to certain things.
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posted 5 years 10 months ago
posted 5 years 10 months ago