Antenatal Classes ( should not be read by faint hearted)
OK. So I keep reading and hearing that I am supposed to take an antenatal or parentcraft class before the baby is born. Why? I was a super nanny for 13 years before starting my own nanny agency, and I am currently writing a book on childcare! Why do people boo at me for saying that I will not be attending? The only real reason is to meet other moms like oneself in order to form friendships and bonds. Ok, sounds great but the problem is that the types of moms in these classes might not be what I would consider friend material.
First off...no smokers please. Pregnant women who smoke look like trailer park trash, and that is just what they are. I was a smoker, but when I was conceiving I gave up the filthy habit and feel better for it. Was it easy? No! But I did it for the sake of my baby!
Secondly..too many pregnant teenagers. Sorry but if I wanted to hear about how ones " boyfriend did em wrong..da bastard" I would instead watch One Tree Hill, The O.C., or Shameless. I feel sorry for the babies. It makes me sick to my stomach. Still better off having it then killing it. I feel that anyone under the age of 20 who gets pregnant should have their own separate class away from the normal women. It only encourages teenagers to get pregnant if we cater to them when they get knocked up. Side note to this* Where were the parents when they had their legs spread eagle?
Next is the area where the class is held. I'm by no means a rich yummy mummy who lives in Kensington in a posh ten bedroom gated home. I'm a real yummy mummy. I live in a posh one bedroom flat in Tottenham Hale. Yes, I am moving out of London, flat is on market and moving to a village in home counties. Problem is that all the antenatal classes in my area are mainly made up of pregnant teens ( thanks to the downtrodden Ferry Lane Estate welfare project), and immigrants who throw themselves down stairs if they find out their baby will not be a boy. The lack of spoken English is by no means a hamper right? After all, it is England, who the heck speaks English? Not I for sure! No, the classes are translated into Arabic, Indian, Pakistani, Sudanese, and African based language. "Any language but English please" is the NHS motto!
So do you think this is a rant? Or is it realism in it's extreme form? This is what I think of antenatal classes, and the next time some snobby person says " surly you are going to the antenatal classes" I will calmly say in my best Arabic " sorry, I wasn't accepted. I'm an English speaking 31 year old married woman!" :stop: