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How do I build confidence in an 11 year old boy?

My son is 11 years old, is a gifted student, and does very well in most things he tries, and he is a good looking child.

We have always praised our children, he is the oldest, but he is extremely hard on himself, he is a perfectionist and this does consume him in his school work. He says he's ugly, and weird, and is now being verbally bullied at school by most of his classmates.

What else can I do to help build confidence? I am terrified this will continue into his teen years and be devastating for him in high school.

6 Parent's Answers

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I'm not an expert at giving advice. I suggest you to encourage him, i hear that before you want people to love you, love yourself first. So, i think you have to show him your pure love and then he will realized that he don't have to feel unconfident about himself and try to love himself more.

If he says that he is ugly, "Son, you are not. If people says you are ugly, than they wrong. You know yourself better than anyone else. "

If people bullied him, show him your support, i know deep in his heart he realized that you will always support him whatever happen.

Be a good friend when he tell about his problems, not a good mom.
Give praise. If a child is struggling in school, teachers should go out of their way to look for opportunities to compliment him when he does do something right, even if it’s something small. Not only does a steady influx of praise make kids feel happier and more confident at school, but psychologists say that “catching kids being good” can help positively shape their behavior, too.
Support is what he need. This is a simple thing but it will surely give the kid a confidence. Compliment him also. About the bullies at school, it is more appropriate to talk with the school about this, just don't let the kid know. He might be bullied more if the other kids know that you take actions about this bullies.
Encourage them to try new thing and also always have confident to themselves he should never allow the environment to change the way he is tell him that his feelings always matters and that whatever he do you will always be there for him no matter what he should not allow other people to change him he should always believe in himself that one day he will achieve all the desires that he wish for in his life and that no matter what God is always by his side and you as his parents you will support encourage him to follow his dreams no matter what and tell him that anything is possible if you believe in its
من الضروري توفير بيئة داعمة لابنك. شجّعه على التواصل المفتوح، ودعه يعبر عن مشاعره، وطمأنه بأنه يُقدر لشخصه، وليس فقط لإنجازاته. فكر في إشراك مستشار المدرسة لمعالجة مشكلة التنمر. التركيز على بناء احترامه لذاته من خلال إبراز نقاط قوته وصفاته الفريدة. ساعده على فهم أن الكمال ليس أمرًا واقعيًا وأن الأخطاء جزء من التعلم والنمو. شجعه على ممارسة الأنشطة التي يستمتع بها، مما يعزز الشعور بالانتماء وتقدير الذات خارج نطاق الإنجازات الأكاديمية.
It's crucial to provide a supportive environment for your son. Encourage open communication, let him express his feelings, and reassure him that he is valued for who he is, not just for his achievements. Consider involving a school counselor to address the bullying issue. Focus on building his self-esteem by highlighting his strengths and unique qualities. Help him understand that perfection isn't realistic and mistakes are part of learning and growing. Encourage him to pursue activities he enjoys, fostering a sense of belonging and self-worth outside academic achievements.
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