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How to handle miserable 18 month old?


I need some help. I have 18-month-old twin girls and for the last couple of weeks one of them has been getting more and more miserable. She used to be happy to play next to me.

Now she has to sit on me and cries every time I walk away even if it is to the other side of the room to get a tissue. Also when I tell her things like sit on your bottom she bursts into tears.

Should I comfort her or ignore her?

1 Parent's Answers

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Definitely comfort her. With fraternal twins one of them can be emotionally more needy than the other. That usually continues into adulthood. Not in a debilitating way. But you can see the difference clearly.

I can only make guesses regarding your girl. It might be that the other twin fell ill or in some way took a lot of your attention at one stage that this girl feels like she has to be demanding to get attention. Another possibility is that you might have left them without telling them you are leaving a few times. They might have thought you are in the house, but when they looked for you or called you, they found that you weren't there. Even if both twins experienced it, one of them could be more affected by it. Feeling fearful that if she isn't cautious, keep you in sight or cling on to you, you might leave without a word.

Have you had any reason to divide your attention more than before? A new pet? A new job? I hope the child's health is fine. Kids with asthma tendencies and gas issues can sometimes be whiny and sort of try and cling to an adult...I personally know only of kids with these issues. Maybe any general weakness can make babies wanna cuddle up to a carer.

Don't neglect. Please, please, don't. She needs to feel secure. I don't think she's being fussy. You can try and talk to her, actually. I know her vocabulary won't be strong. But sometimes, if you take them to a peaceful space and ask them questions in a caring tone, they actually do try to communicate...and you may find your answers.

My nephew is almost 2. I have always insisted that nobody sneak away without letting him know, no matter how upset he might be of us leaving. However, one of us did sneak away to make things easier, many times. And now my nephew won't even eat or go to toilet unless he can be very sure that
the person is not leaving. He might run to toilet half way and then run back to check on the person and if he cannot find, will break into tears.

The same nephew once cried for hours one night. Nobody knew the reason. He was about 21 months old, and a bit behind in speech. The next day we asked him why he was crying. And he managed to let us know without any standard words that he had tooth ache. My niece had trouble going to sleep when she was 2. She would resist sleeping so much, it was very hard for us. Then I talked to her. I found out that she felt that if she sleeps, she won't be home any more. Explaining to her that she will still be home, even if she has dreams and all of us will be in the house with her, helped her not be too afraid.

So...I feel you can try asking the baby without seeming frustrated. I know it has been a month. If you found out the reason, please do share. It might help me.
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