An overactive 3 year old

Hello All,

I hope that some of the more experienced parents on this forum will be able to give me some useful advice. Our son who will be 3 in June has started getting increasingly difficult to manage at home since he started going to a creche about 4 months ago. With everyone else - other kids, his childminders etc - he behaves like an angel. At home he does everything possible to get on our nerves - refuses to eat, wants to be fed, is never quiet for a minute, keeps saying "NO" to everything we say, has temper tantrums that seem to drive him to the verge of insanity and generally behaves as though he is pushing us to the limit. Anger and punishment have an effect - for a very short time. Explanations and gentleness go entirely unheeded.

Things have reached a point where we are starting to wonder if we haven't got a little monster on our hands. My wife who is 9 weeks pregnant is starting to have serious misgivings about the idea of a second "monster".

I have read that the 2-3 year age is when children display such behavior but I have no frame of reference to use to decide to what extent all of this is "normal".

Any thoughts and advice would be much appreciated.

Hello and welcome to JP

Your son;s behaviour sounds normal!!

I think your son is pushing his boundaries at home, He has very clear boundaries at creche/childminders and I think he is looking for reassurance that he has that at home. Pick a consequence for the unacceptable behaviour and stick with it, no matter how tough it gets (remember always to give him a warning first) you can call it a time out place and then you can use it when he has a tantrum aswell.

As for the not feeding himself, leave him!! he will soon eat if he is hungry (might sound tough to you but please remember this is only my opinion and others might disagree).

pick a time when he is sitting nicely (a favourite programme on the TV or something) and instead of using this time to get a job done, STOP and sit with him and chat about what he is watching, this will show him he gets attention etc when he is being good

Good luck with the new pregnancy for you and your wife.

every kid has their temper tantrums and as parents we really need to be super duper patient at this time. once they grow older they will be able to understand right from wrong.

Thank you for the replies. It is nice to know that sucb behavior really is "normal".