Can anyone help me?

Hi right this is the thing. iv been with my partner 2years in july but married to him a year in aug.
i got married 19th Aug and gave birth to my daughter 26th Nov all last year. since iv had her everything between me and him has gone down hill. our sex life has gone we dont make love much any more. we argue almost all the time at least once a day about stupid things that build up. iv tried talking and explaining but nothing is really happening. im beginning to wonder whether marriage was such a good idea. I Love him with all my heart hes the father to my daughter but things are getting me depressed now.
Can Anyone Help or Give Me Any Advice?? thanks in advance xxxx

Are you confident enough to leave your daughter with someone you trust for a night,May be then you couls spend some quality time together and have a good heart to heart,tell him how much you love him and that you appreciate all he does as a husband and dad,It can be difficult if your not naturally open but give it a try,dont even think about the evening ending in sex either,if it does then great but make it a time to express your feelings, make appologies if you have made him feel left out,if he says you havent then all the better but at least you have made the effort, have the time to relax and have fun with him, remember the things you found that you loved about each other when you met,and then tell each other,remind each other that love is a feeling not just a word,and you still have loads of it for each other aswell as your daughter. Hope this makes sence and helps,xx kel

You've both had a helluva lot to cope with in the past few months. Marriage and baby are huge things in themselves up the top with moving house as being the most stressful.

Do you get anytime to yourselves, and I mean actually going out to be a couple without the baby?? Do you have a babysitter at hand that could help out once a month or so. Even just being away from the baby and rediscovering yourselves can be a huge help.

As for arguments, dont ever go to bed on one. Try to sort it out before the day is out or it will go festering on from one day to the next and thats when resentments start to build.

Do you make the move at all when it comes to the bedroom or is it always hubbie?? I got fed up with waiting for my dp to make a move on me after what felt like ages of not having sex, and I dont find it at all easy, laying in bed wondering should I/shouldn't I, will he reject m?? I've made the move a couple of times now and although I still feel uncomfortable with it, at least I got what I want

Perhaps just start off again with kissing and cuddling, it doesnt always have to lead to sex but is a good starter when things have gone a bit stale.

Sorry, this is probably a bit jumbled but hope this has managed to help a little bit.
take care
Alison
x

Thanks this does help alot the funny thing is we did move house a week before we got married (12th aug) because i was in a homeless place but was evicted because i was pregnant so now in pokey 1 bedroom flat so have no space so we are always on top of each other and we dont get to spend time together as he works from 6:30am til 6:30pm. when he gets in i make dinner eat then give baby last bottle then get her to bed then i have a bath then go to bed myself. tues and thurs he goes to band rehersal as hes in a jazz band and alot of weekends he either goes to football or gigs. hes also getting made redundant in july so we've got the stress of that and the stress of we have £50 at the end of every month to get food all because the rent of a private flat is so high.

well if you can not get time apart then just try saying the things I mentioned while you are sat eating tea or somthing,give him a cuddle and tell him you think he is the best,it wont do the child any harm seeing there mummy and daddy having a cuddle anyway,they can see they are in a loving family!! its hard work but just keep trying at it,I hope you find each other again soon.

lol so do i as i miss the old us.
the only main thing iv been really worried about is the arguing around charly its not good for her to see it. she knows shes loved by both of us. all iv gotta do is build us back up. it is just really hard i never thought id have to go through all this at 19. lol but i will keep at it thank you.

well you have a new group of friends now that can keep you proped up,and you can sound off at us now rather than the hubby! you can throw all your hugs and kisses his way instead, and as for your little girl seeing the arguements, thats why it is just as important to show the cuddles infront of her.

Thanks ever so much for you have been a great help and i will try all that you have said i might see if my mum will have charly on sat.

Little wonder things arent great at the moment hun

Are you on any sort of waiting list for council/housing association housing. If not, can you get on one?? It might take some time but it would be something to look forward to.

Keep chatting when you can and try to make a point of sitting down over a glass of wine/lager/cup of tea whatever in the evening and talking about how your day has been.

Fair enough it is not great your little one seeing you arguing but it is also more important that she does see you hugging and kissing in front of her. It will do her absolutely no harm at all and will also help her to relax around you and be able to talk to you about things as she gets older. The show of affection can run a lot further than people think.
Alison
x

yeah we are on the council list we cant get anywhere though until she is a year old then iv got to have a meeting and an inspection then they will consider moving us. thanks for all your help i will try everything when i get home. hope i can repay you all if any of you have any trouble.

no worries, we are all here with shoulders to cry on
Alison
x

thanks so much hun same to you xxxx

hi guys we got a bit closer last night. we waited until charly was in bed then when we went to bed we snuggled and hugged it felt so weird i dont remember the last time we was that close lol thanks xxx

I'm so pleased for you - just take it slowly and you'll soon be back to how you were before

thanks again hun you've all been a great help!!