Hope it's ok for me to have a bit of a rant...

But only place I could think of doing it.

I'm starting to get extremely annoyed at the EX. He promised when we split that Daisy would always come first and no matter what he would make sure he saw her at least once a week and would NEVER make excuses to not see her. But recently he got promoted to manager and went power mad and fired a few people meaning he has to work more days which means he's now seeing Daisy every 2-3 weeks.

We arranged last saturday that he would have her on tuesday and wednesday and I texted him last night to make sure because in the past he has changed the day at last minute. he texted me back saying his days off have moved from tuesday and wednesday to monday and tuesday, which is fine with me BUT...
He also said that he might not be able to have her at all as he's "not feeling too well". He's well enough to go to work, but not well enough to see his daughter. She hasn't seen him for over 2 weeks now, so if he doesn't see her this week it'll be more like 3-5 weeks depending on his "mood".

Now the fact he's not seeing her that often is bothering me, but what also bothers me is the fact he always waits till the last minute to tell me these things. It's like I'm always waiting for HIS word.

I don't really have good advise for you other than to seek out a legal set up so that he has certain days that he HAS to be with her. I'm in the US and it's not always so easy to get court arranged custody/visitation agreements.

I just want to tell you I can so relate to your situation. My daughter's father did see her regularly but for a few hours each week with the occasional over night at his place, very occasional. But as much as he would disagree with me, she was never his highest priority, he always put work, school and his social life before her.

I hope you can get it sorted, it's so not fare to the children involved, they should always be a parent's (mom or dad) highest priority, no matter what!

Thanks, I've tried to talk to him about it before but he always manages to turn things round and make out like I'm the bad one for not understanding his work and new family responsibilities and needs. I'm not asking him to give either of them up or spend less time with either, all I want is a little stability for Daisy so she knows when she'll be seeing him, and also for him to think ahead and let me know of problems at least 4 or 5 days before hand so I can make sure daisy isn't upset when he doesn't turn up.

Sounds like you're being very reasonable about things... I think sometimes these 1/2 dead beat dads like to take advantage our our "being reasonable" sometimes (I say 1/2 dead beat because they atleast make a little attempt at being dads )

Well to be fair he was always like that, even when we where together. But when we where together I was blind to it untill after we'd split up and people pointed it out to me. He was always manipulative with me and took advantage of my good and easy going nature. It's just I don't have to put up with it anymore, and I try not too, but he always turns things round.

Wish I could give him a swift hard kick up the backside! LOL

your ex sounds like my ex LOL

What did you do about it? Did you go for the hard kick option? LOL

well its slightly different between me n my ex he was involved regularly with izzy to begin with after our break up (we live 160miles apart though now) so it was normally once every 4-6weeks hed have her for about 7-10days after new years this year (he met a new girl) he didnt see her until march and then he didnt see her til may and then he not seen her until i took her up in october as we couldnt come to agreement about access and maintenance cos he moved out of his parents house and into his gfs house within 5months of being together i feel this was a bit too quick for izzy to stay at their place and to stay at his parents place where she is used to as we lived together there for a period of time before we broke up. he hasnt paid for her in a year now (except for may when he sent me £20.. like that cuts it for 6 months no maintenance) and then he started threatening me with lawyers so i now have a legal representative, i made one last final offer of access to him over a month ago and not had a definate yes or no to it so my lawyer told me to not contact him til he gets in touch and cos of some circumstances since then has advised me to ammend the offer of access.

he is now having a baby with his new gf (if they still together im not sure)

I feel for you hun, it must be tough knowing the best course of action. I think it is always better if it is possible to come to an agreement without having to involve the courts but Daisy does deserve regular access with her father and it seems she isn't really getting it at the moment. I think i would try and have one last word with him, showing him an access plan you would be happy with and try and get him to understand the importance of something regular that Daisy can fit into a routine. If this doesn't work then i'm afraid i think i would go for the swift hard kick Xx

I can sympathise with you Ellee, Mark isn't quite as bad as that yet, but I can understand how it must feel you you and Izzy to have him just stop being there for her. I hope he contacts you and you can sort things out amicably.



I had one last word with him and he has agree'd to have her again tomorrow. He then started going on about how he believes Daisy has a problem with her bowels because when she's there she doesn't poo. again trying to make me feel bad. Didn't work though cause I know her bowels are fine and she's just too scared or too busy to have a poo at his cause she has about 6 the day she somes back and then goes back to her normal routine.

omg yours is a mark aswell..!!

Hmm... Wonder if it's something to do with the name or if it's just the same bloke! LOL

LOL it would be very freaky if it was the same mark but i dont think it is.. mine dont work.. got lazyitis...

LMAO!

Aye, only thing is I wouldn't put having another family or two past mine, He left me for another girl and within 4 months they where engaged and she was pregnant. And for some reason they where also living in MY house!!!

ok the simialirities are freaky here

my ex had the possibility of another kid before izzy but said he didnt know cos he was told she had an abortion and now he with a new girl they been together less than a year and she pregnant.

Seperated at birth perhaps? LOL