problem sorted with izzys dad i think

its solved as best as it can be i let them have her this weekend. when he and his mum brung her back he and i had a chat in private to see if we could come up with a solution and he agreed to having her 1 or 2 long weekends a month and that we would meet halfway as long as i recieved regular maintenance and then he said izzy would be staying with him and his new girlfriend when she goes up there which i said no i want her to stay with your parents to begin with and he said thats not happening and said she staying with your parents he decided that i couldnt accept the fact he moved on and told him i couldnt care less if he was sh**ging the entire stoke city football club but he still adamant that i couldnt accept he moved on and i said she is not staying with you and your new gf yet and he decided thats fine he wont have any contact with her and i wont receive any money for her and that its my fault izzy not going to see her dad.

he also told me he was only with me for 2 and a half years cos it ment he could see izzy and it was easier to pretend to want to be with and that everytime i started seeing someone it was easier to string me along and keep me single as it meant he could see izzy more cos id want to spend time with him trying to resolve it.

so it looks like izzy isnt going to be having contact with her dad now an its down to him not agreeing to compromise one thing like that.

Hey hun, I just want to say again that I'm sorry you're going through this right now. I hope this doesn't offend you but I would expect to have a fight on your hands over this. Trying to look at this from all perspectives, it is his right as an adult and a father to be able to have her stay with him at his house. I understand why your fearful of that because of certain things (the PM) but if he really cares about Izzie then I can see him putting up a fight about this and if it comes to a court decision they are probably going to side with Izzie's father on the staying with him arrangements. Have you met his new girlfriend? If not, maybe it would make you feel better to meet her and see what kind of person she is.... to be honest, I think I like Aaralyn's dad's girlfriend better than him... even though I think he may have her thinking I'm some kind of B#tch or something

I know it's rough in a split parent situation but it sounds like he's willing to make an effort with taking her on weekends once or twice a month... maybe let her go again and see how it goes?

the maintenance he offered me was crap aswell he used to give me over £100 a month for her he now told me its going to be £5 a week which is what the csa would make him give me cos he not working i said thats what i would get if u was on benefits and he told me he plans to be on benefits a long time he even admitted to be that he drinks and drives on a regular basis all i want is for izzy to stay at his mums to begin with for a few months 1 for them to settle in as they havent moved in. 2 he only been with her 6 months. 3 so its a gradual change to his new place as she doesnt go up there anymore. im getting in touch with a solicitor and getting legal advice on this now just to prepare my cousin is having to go through a solicitor for her kids dad to see her kid and the solicitor laid down conditions that he has to go to alcohol rehabilition course as he is a very heavy drinker. izzys dad has a vile temper which i have been on the recieving end a few times and its not nice.

I think it's a really good idea that you're getting a solicitor on this. His temper would make me nervous too and if you think there's a chance he would drink and drive with Izzie in the car then I completely understand your wanting her to stay with his parents instead...

I sure hope a solicitor can help you guys sort this through so Izzie's happy and safe and you are feeling secure that she is happy and safe with out you being right there for her. Aaralyn's dad isn't the most responsible when it comes to Aaralyn but I've never had to fear for her safety when she's with him so I don't even know how I'd handle it if I were in your shoes, I just wish you and Izzie the best!

he also send down some clothes for izzy i knew they were 2nd hand but they were in awful condition they were stained, faded, had holes in them ,grubby and stinks of stale smoke my mum said when someone asked about them that she wouldnt even give them to a charity cos they are that disgusting in condition, we are going to wash them and see how they come up and then im going to go thru them and see whats come up alrite etc. i used to get brand new clothes for her or 2nd hand in excellent condition now i recieving the most tackiest and shabby clothes for her.

I can't imagine how hard and fustrating all this is for you.

Hope you manage to get something sorted. x

sorry hun but thats his prob then not urs

hope u sort something

xxx

awwwwwww hun. im sorry youre having to go through this i can see what tammy has been saying but i also think hes just acting like a child, throwing a tantrum cause hes not getting his own way

(((((((((((((HUGE HUGS))))))))))))))

he always has if he cant have his own way he gets into a big hissy fit starts swearing etc normally storms out basically even his best mate who i been talking to alot has told me if i speak to izzys dad before he does to tell him he doesnt want nothing to do with him until he grows up and realises how lucky he is as hes not allowed to see his kids.

I feel so sad for you and Izzy. It seems he's not thinking about Izzy at all. You can't stop and start a relationship with your own child.

I think you should get a solicitor to write to him and lay down the fact that contact is over. He is still obliged to pay you, whatever amount is set by the CSA so it's certainly not a case of 'no access = no money".

Good luck honey